Mr. Duck Steps Out

23 May

May 23, 2011

Ever come across a story that seemed too good to be true? That’s how I felt when I read this:

A woman believed that Donald Duck was wooing her via satellite television. Why not? Donald is a big star. He’s on TV all the time. Is it really inconceivable that he has been sending her hidden messages in his cartoons?

Well, one thing led to another, a ladder was brought into the equation, and the woman climbed into the satellite dish- no mean feat, those panels aren’t always the strongest- where she “consummated marriage” with Donald Duck.

I have a lot of trouble with that story, not the least of which is that Donald is in a happy relationship with his girlfriend Daisy Duck and has been since 1940. The thought of Donald cheating on Daisy is too much for me to bear. It would kill the little kid inside of me.

On the other hand, I am equally worried that some other water fowl is committing identity theft by claiming to be Donald Duck and seducing crazy women via TV and having sex with them in satellite dishes.

I had to track this journal down. And while the original article is not available online I did find corroboration.

However, I was able to learn that it was indeed Donald and the happy couple is now honeymooning in Disneyland.

And the woman’s real name? Christina Aguilera.

8 Responses to “Mr. Duck Steps Out”

  1. bmj2k May 23, 2011 at 12:03 am #

    Mr. BTR’s Blog Notes

    1-Fittingly, Mr. Duck Steps Out is also the name of the first cartoon to feature Daisy Duck from back in 1940.

    2- If they are unrelated, why do Donald and Daisy have the same last name?

    3- Do you really care if Donald wears pants? Discuss.

    Like

    • R.Cohen May 25, 2011 at 1:08 am #

      Duck is a common last name, like Smith or Jones.

      Like

      • bmj2k May 25, 2011 at 1:19 am #

        That’s true.
        In real life I have never met a Smith.

        Like

  2. Thomas Stazyk May 23, 2011 at 2:19 am #

    Question 2: They are married.
    Question 3: No, the feathers provide sufficient coverage for modesty.

    I wonder if this is what was broadcast into space from the satellite dish on the night in question:

    Like

    • bmj2k May 23, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

      Because I actully research such silliness:

      According to the unofficial timeline of Don Rosa, Daisy was born in 1920. According to Rosa, Daisy is the sister of Donald’s brother-in-law – Daisy’s brother had married Donald’s twin sister, Della Duck, and together, the two became the parents of Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck. This is his explanation of why the triplets tend to call her “Aunt Daisy” while no such courtesy is given to Gladstone Gander for example.

      Though some accounts show Donald and Daisy as a married couple, others mention that she is Donald’s cousin.

      Their common last name points to both Donald and Daisy being members of the Duck family. Several stories consider them cousins but none has specified their relationship. Current speculation by Donaldist Maurice who has studied and compared various versions of the family tree is that the two are second cousins. Don Rosa has however said that he considers Donald and Daisy to be nonrelated and that Duck simply is the Duckburg universe equal to Smith, being a common surname.

      Like

  3. Thomas Stazyk May 23, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    Is Duckburg in West Virginia?

    Like

    • bmj2k May 23, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

      Duckburg is described as a medium size city located in the fictional U.S. state of Calisota. In comic writer Don Rosa’s stories, Duckburg is located on the west coast of the United States, though other writers often leave the city’s location more vaguely defined. However, in Don Rosa’s The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, the author alludes to where exactly he has situated Duckburg: “I won’t bother to say precisely where I situated Duckburg and Calisota on America’s west coast… but if you get out a good map and compare the coastline, you’ll see that I stuck the old gold-prospector’s adopted hometown directly across the bay from a very appropriately named actual city.” Knowing how Don Rosa like to play a gag, it is likely that this city would be Eureka, California (Eureka meaning ‘I found it’!). This fits with the river and a large forest south of Eureka.

      Like

  4. The Hook May 24, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    I thought her ex-husband said she was into threeways? Maybe Daisy Duck joined them a few times!

    Like

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