Tag Archives: What’s Happening

Allan Keyes Says “I took Mr. Blogs Five Word Challenge and Won!”

14 Oct

October 14, 2013

My contributions to the blog have been sporadic at best over the past month, and as a penalty, Mr. B gave me an ultimatum: He can dock my pay, or I can take some stupid brain twister challenge.  Because my bookie the power company gets testy when they don’t get paid, I decided to take the challenge.

Mr. B gave me five words that I HAD to work into this week’s blog, or else. So here’s my response. Answers below, but see if you can dope them out for yourself!

I’ve always been a student of history and politics.  In my life, there have been two political events that have been my favorites most of all:

First, Al Haig’s famous (and epic fail) “I’m in control here” speech after Reagan was shot:

Which prompted this nationwide response:

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It wasn’t even constitutionally correct at the time – a few more old white men would’ve had to have been capped for that to happen.

The other one was Nikita freaking Kruchev banging the podium at the UN (fake but awesome photoshop below):

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I mean, damn, he used a shoe! How awesome is that!!  That’s some kind of world-class ball breaker right there. 

So I’ve always loved politics and the like. But life growing up in my area of Brooklyn always felt like I was being trapped in concrete, just sort of stuck in a slow-motion boring load of muck. So when I had a chance to move to Astoria, I jumped at it faster than you could say “Monkey Loves Milk”

Unfortunately, that was a stupid mistake because….well, because it was Astoria, and that was even more boring than my old section of Brooklyn. Minus the pizza but more souvlaki.  That’s a pretty poor trade overall, sort of like an old school British swell trading drams for pennyweights (or like taking pennies on the dollar to you uncouth Yanks) So I upped stakes again and schlepped back to Brooklyn, tail tucked between my legs.

So here I sit in Brooklyn again, still stuck in boring-land, still following politics from afar, still shoving meat-lover’s pizza down my gullet as fast as I can to fill the hole inside stomach. Still, it’s not all bad. Today’s awful political class provides me plenty of remote entertainment what with Spitzer and Wiener and the laughable afro on Mayoral Candidate Bill DiBlasio’s kid:

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I mean c’mon!  Am I the only one who sees this picture and has to fight the urge to say “Hey hey hey!” 

 dg4

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Remember when the gang tried to bootleg the Doobie Brothers concert and that huge Wollensack recorder fell out of Rerun’s coat? TV GOLD my friends.  (The gold moment happens around 4:15.)

“My name is Raj Thomas. Which Doobie You be?  CLASSIC.

Hey, Am I the only one who thought Shirley Hemphill was kinda hot???

 

Click on the pic for a Super Shirley Surprise!

Click on the pic for a Super Shirley Surprise!

 

 

 

 

My Review of Hell’s Kitchen, Season 7

3 Jun

June 3, 2010

Congratulations Shirley Hemphill!

What's Happening!

Shirley Hemphill made her triumphant return to television last night playing “Nilka” on the FOX Television police drama “Hell’s Kitchen.”

On the show, chef Gordon Ramsey stars as “Gordon Bosley,” the curmudgeonly head chef of Hell’s Kitchen and Police Academy. Shirley plays one of sixteen contestants randomly picked by the mysterious “Charlie,” who is never seen. The Hell’s Kitchen Angels receive all of their orders by telephone.

Each week, the rookies must master a different aspect of kitchen police work. This week, each was assigned the task of  creating their signature dishes while continuing surveillance of a suspected drug dealer.

“Hell’s Kitchen” is a triumphant return to the small screen for Ms. Hemphill, whose last TV work, “What’s Happening NOW!” (an National Organization of Women-themed reworking of the 1970’s “What’s Happening!”) ended in 1988.

“What’s Happening” was the high-water mark of Ms. Hemphill’s career. Playing a waitress who just happened to also be named Shirley, she traded barbs and insults with such colorful characters as “Raj,” “Rerun,” and “Mamma.”

A working standup comedienne, Ms. Hemphill has entertained hundreds and, despite her death on December 10th, 1999, should entertain hundreds more on “Hell’s Kitchen” until her inevitable dismissal in what will surely be just a few scant weeks.

Nilka

Shirley Hemphill as "Nilka"