Tag Archives: UK

Imponderable #109: HOTCOCK!

20 Sep

September 20, 2013

This story has it all!

Drunk man has sex with a Land rover!

Drunk man has sex with a kebab counter!

Drunk man has sex with a floor!

Drunk man walks pantsless down the street!

Drunk man urinates in the street!

Drunk man gets in big big trouble!

Did I mention the drunk man’s name is hotcock?




Another Example of Do-Nothing Government

23 May

May 23, 2013

What am I paying taxes for if not to get my local streets fixed and properly repaired? If I lived in England I would be very upset.


This is an egregious breach of the public trust. This could be bad- very bad. ANYTHING could come through that portal- Roman Centurions, anal-probing aliens from Betelgeuse, even an other-dimensional Kanye West where he is pregnant with Kim Kardashian’s baby. Frankly, I can’t have that.

And the snake? Is no one else concerned that it could be Jörmungandr, the Midgard Serpent of Norse mythology whose final battle with Thor will be fought at Ragnarök? This could be the end, ladies and gentlemen. You may be reading the last installment of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride and, indeed, everything else as well.

So I say goodbye, internet public. Goodbye world. So long to all that I have known. This vortex is going to be the end of us all.

And the local Brighton officials will have no one else to blame when the pregnant Kanye West comes after them.


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