Tag Archives: Senior vs. Junior

American Chopper: Sr. vs. Jr.: Two Weddings and No Fun At All

19 Jan

January 19, 2011

I normally begin with a discussion of the bikes but since the show virtually ignored them this week I will too, except to say that OCC had more trouble than you might expect with some standard front end parts. In fact, the only interesting thing about the bike build was at the end, when they unveiled it at an OCC road show. What do they do at an OCC road show? They build a bike on stage. I fail to see the appeal, unless they decide to accurately recreate the bike building experience- Senior yelling at random audience members, the OCC crew throwing things into the crowd, and lots of intermissions.

Spring is in the air, though this aired in winter, and it is wedding time. Last time it was Paulie, this time it is shaved orangutan Jason Pohl. Who would marry him? I am not sure since the guilty party has not appeared on camera, but I have my suspicions.

Anyone remember Escape From the Planet of the Apes? Remember the outraged Bishop when Zira referred to Cornelius as her husband?

Senior, for some reason, feels like Jason is a son to him and frankly, they deserve each other. How much does Senior love Jason- bought a new suit for wedding, WITH SLEEVES! It was his first new suit in forty years. He even got married in a sleeveless tux, so this is something special.

Speaking of “special,” no one on the show is more “special” than Mikey. When he heard that Sr. was going to Jason’s wedding (which, BTW, Paulie did not) he took it as a personal affront that Sr. would go to Jason’s and not Paulie’s- nor his, for that matter. Yes, I must have missed this, but at some point Mikey was about to be married and then it all fell apart. I don’t know who was at fault, but I figure that his bride must have sobered up and realized she was about to marry Mikey Teutul and go the hell out of Dodge.

But that wasn’t all from Mikey this week. Following his moving out of his art studio he moved back in with mommy and daddy- I mean Paulie and Vinnie. Not only did he set up a little art space in the shop, but he also planned to run sprints up and down the shop.
The busy shop.
The busy shop filled with expensive equipment.
The busy shop filled with expensive equipment which he broke.
Couldn’t you see that coming?

Paulie this week got a new customer, Faro Technologies, who was one of Sr.’s vendors. I don’t get why they went to Paulie (Senior suspects they poached him, and I think maybe he’s right.) because, let’s be frank, Paulie has nothing to offer, but they did and sent him a prototype mechanical arm. What does it do? I don’t know but it looked pretty cool until Mikey broke it. Paulie’s reaction? He screamed at Mikey, called him an idiot, and told him to get away from everything and never touch anything again.

At this point it may be helpful to remind you that I am talking about Paul JUNIOR, not Senior. Hmm, I wonder where all that anger came from? And judging by some of the other things Paulie had to say about Mikey, I wonder if Senior isn’t right about Paulie just using him against his Senior.

And by the way, Paulie, great mechanic that he is, told Mikey (of all people, Mikey!) to “glue it back together.” This is an expensive prototype on loan to them. I hope that Crazy Glue works!

Regardless, things were moving right along at PJD. Vinnie and Odie-Who-Is-Not-Cody started on the Faro bike and got as far as two minutes in when they realized that Paulie had not drawn up any plans. Paulie explained that he had them in his head, which is the worst place to keep them for a variety of reasons. Brendan, who seems to be the only guy who can fabricate in the entire country, flew all the way in from California to work on the bike. How hard up is he for work? How bad is the fabrication market in California that he would leave his pregnant wife at home while he flew to New York to make a fuel tank? Is there no one east of the Mississippi who can hammer some sheet metal?

Odie-Who-Is-Not-Cody had an idea about the bike’s design, to which Vinnie replied “nothing you say will be used.” GOOD FOR YOU VINNIE! He said he was only kidding, but you know what Shakespeare said: “Jesters do oft prove prophets.” That was in King Lear, another guy who didn’t quite get along with his kids. Let’s see how this tragedy ends.

In the end, there is no winner here. Unless you count Iron Horse magazine, which interviewed both Senior and Junior and got a lot of free plugs on the show this week.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

American Chopper: Sr. vs. Jr. Late December 2010 Double Buffoon

30 Dec

December 30, 2010

For the final American Chopper (not quite so) Weekly Rundown of 2010 I am recapping the last two episodes in one blog. Why? Because I fell behind somewhere along the line.

As usual, let’s get the least important part of the show out of the way, the bikes. On the OCC side, they completed the Chicago Blackhawks bike. It was nice. I am way past being impressed by their bikes anymore. But it had a nice paintjob and since I think they do those things in-house now, nice job on the paint. What’s next for OCC? A bike for the Hair Club for Men.

Seriously? The Hair Club for Men?

Paul Sr. had an evaluation and they determined that they could move some hair from his neck-mustache to the top of his head. Remember, he’s not just a loudmouth jerk, he’s also a client.

Paulie finished a bike for a company that makes, I think, corrugated roll-up gates and pre-fab garages. Again, the paint job made the bike, but I have to admit that Vinnie did a nice job on the gas tank. The woman running the company was so, let’s just say unprofessional, that you wonder how she managed not to run her company into the ground.

But as always, the bikes have been irrelevant to the show the last few years.

The Battle for Rick (“Free Rick! Free Rick!”) heated up as Paulie sent one of Rick’s friends, who was working for PJD, to see the OCC bikes. While there, he asked Sr. if it would be OK for Rick to visit PJD. On camera, Sr. said “yes.” Off camera, Sr. said “no.” Rick never did go to PJD, proving that Sr. is an overbearing tool trying to control everyone around him. It felt like the old Soviet era, where we’d live up to our end of a missile treaty and the Soviets would pull out for, as Sr. put it, “legal reasons.”

Rick is one of, probably the only, genuinely nice guys at  OCC. Other than Rick, I guess I feel sorry for Gus.

Gus is Paul Sr.’s dog, who had a front leg amputated and was just fitted with a pair of wheels to help aid his disability.

Ironically, Sr. is even turning his dog into a motorcycle.

On the other hand, he did go to therapy. Somehow it took a trip to a petting zoo where he fed some carrots to another hairy beast, but at least he went.

That was one of the conditions set by Mikey before they could reconcile. Sr., fool that he is, really does seem to want to have a relationship with Mikey so he went and seemed to be honest and forthright. Was this enough for Mikey? Would you be shocked if it wasn’t?

“Doctor/patient confidentiality” stems from the Hippocratic Oath, which all medical practitioners take.

The Oath of Hippocrates, traditionally sworn to by newly licensed physicians, includes the promise that “Whatever, in connection with my professional service, or not in connection with it, I see or hear, in the life of men, which ought not to be spoken of abroad, I will not divulge, as reckoning that all such should be kept secret.”

In other words, if you tell it to a doctor, he keeps his mouth shut.

So of course the therapist repeated everything Sr. said directly to Mikey, word for word, including his analysis and opinion. It also didn’t help that the session was taped and televised.

Mikey should have been happy. Sr. satisfied one of his requirements. But no, he wasn’t Why? Because Sr. only went as a favor to Mikey. Mikey wanted him to go because Sr. really wanted to go. So Mikey, like Linus in the pumpkin patch before him, wasn’t happy with the sincerity around him and he bailed on the agreement.

It also didn’t help that Paulie got in Mikey’s ear and manipulated him against their father before their father could manipulate him against Paulie.

But it wasn’t all therapy and three-legged dogs for Sr. After spending some quality time destroying a door, he sent look-alike buffoon over to Paulie’s shop.

Some guy showed up at OCC looking just like Sr., at least at first glance. Sure he’s a bit shorter, and his voice a bit higher, but he had the same neck-mustache, glasses, short grey hair, and fading muscle-man stature. Sr. had a laugh and sent him over to Paulie’s to pretend he was Sr. Hilarity was sure to ensue.

It did not.

After a confused second or two, the guys realized it wasn’t their father. The boys signed an autograph and Vinnie was just disgusted by the whole thing. But as the therapist pointed out to Mikey, that was really just Sr.’s stupid way of showing love.

Senior also showed love by, as usual, bad-mouthing his son. He took the whole OCC crew on a ride into the mountains where, I hoped, he’d shoot Jason and bury his body. Sadly, everyone returned. While there he had a sort of “state of OCC address” where he bad-mouthed his son and explained, again, that he had the right to buy out Paulie but Paulie reneged, disagreeing on the evaluated fair-market value of OCC.

He didn’t mention that due to some underhanded manipulation the value of OCC was zero. Not “about zero,” not “almost zero,” but absolute zero. Paulie’s 20% is valueless. Logically, Sr.’s 80% is also valueless, which makes you wonder why he’s working so hard.

Many of you have been wondering about Cody. I have no idea what’s up with him, but we did an Odie sighting. After royally screwing up the Blingstar ATV, this week he did grunt work and kept his mouth shut.

So that’s it, other than Mikey’s foray into living as an adult died and he gave up his studio and moved back into Paulie’s shop.

Let’s hope that in 2011 the American Chopper crew can manage to stay just as stupid as they did in 2010.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →