Tag Archives: Seinfeld

Scrappers Week Three: Spike TV Hits a New High in Low

18 Aug

August 18, 2010

Every show has a moment, an iconic scene or image that stays with you long after the show is over.

M*A*S*H: Hawkeye salutes Radar (“Good-Bye Radar”)
Seinfeld: “The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” (“The Marine Biologist”)
Dallas: Bobby Ewing in the shower (1986 cliffhanger)
Scrappers: Sal the Barber takes a dump in a garbage bag.

This week on Scrappers, Sal the Barber was ripping apart a demolished house, when nature struck. So what did Spike TV do?

Did they:
A- discreetly pan away?
B- cut to another scene?
C- document step by step how Sal used an old garbage bag and a broken toilet?
D- not only C, but also film his partner, in disgust, trying to figure out what Sal ate, as it was very stinky?
E- C and D, and also film Sal sitting on the toilet, grunting?

You know it was E. Nothing is too low for Scrappers.

Keeping the trend going, Noots was shown exiting the van with, for some reason, his pants around his knees. Thank God for blurring, but I wonder if they really did get rid of all the porn last week.

Of course, it could have been worse. Remember what happened to Sterling Hayden when Al Pacino got out of the bathroom in The Godfather?

“Tell Noots this is just business.”

Also this week, the show featured John’s Deli, a local institution owned not by a guy named John, but Robert. Let’s just say it wasn’t shown in the best light and leave it at that. I won’t be stopping in for their roast beef special anytime soon.

I look forward to next week, when, with any luck, I’ll watch a DVD instead of Scrappers.

(I wonder how this show would play in India? No Toilet No Bride)

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Hey, Have You Heard The News? Dewey Cox- er, George Steinbrenner Died.

13 Jul

July 13, 2010

Perhaps I am being insensitive. I awoke this morning to the not-particularly-surprising news that George Steinbrenner had died and all I could think of was this song from Walk Hard- The Dewey Cox Story:

Long Black Hearse
Clear Blue Sky
Preacher says his words
Grown Men Cry
Women start to faint
Dark Grey Sky
Simple Wooden Box
Preacher asks Why?

Hey, Have you heard the news?
Dewey Cox Died

Here in NY people are all over themselves. I’m not sure why. OK, I get that he bought, um, built the Yankees into a powerhouse, but the man himself?

Put him in the ground
Start to shovel dirt
Grown men turn away
Can’t bear the hurt
Fell Out of a tree
Landed on His head
Rushed him to a hospital
There pronounced dead

Hey, Have you heard the news?
Dewey Cox Died
No, Say it isn’t so, Dewey Cox Died!

He’s had a stroke a few years ago and was largely out of the spotlight these past years, only being trotted out for special occasions where he’d be propped up and repeatedly say “how ya doin’?” to people he knew or not. It was kind of sad.

Flowers Everywhere
Children Cry
Guitar on the ground
God himself asks why

People seem to forget he was one half of the famous “one’s a born liar and the other’s convicted” duo. (Billy Martin said it about Reggie Jackson and Steinbrenner. Steinbrenner was the convicted one.)

People seem to forget his arrogance, his temper, his tampering, Only the fact that the people he hired to run the Yankees were able to keep him in check made the Yankees a success. The team did the best when he was banned from the game.

Long Black Hearse
Clear Blue Sky
Preacher Says his Words
Grown Men Cry

The guy spent money, I’ll give him that.

Hey Have you heard the news?
Dewey Cox Died
Why?
Hey, Have you heard the news?
Dewey Cox Died
Today!

Of course, in my book, his biggest contribution to society was when he hired George Costanza as the Yankees traveling secretary.

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