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The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Three

4 Mar

March 4, 2012

Victoria Gotti got whacked last week and I am glad. I could not stand her. That makes two wins in a row for the men, but they inured Dee Snider’s finger and it looks like this week it may turn into a serious injury. This week’s challenge has to do with Ivanka’s fashion line and it may be that the women can get a win this week.

THE TASK: Design a living window display for Ivanka Trump’s fashion line
MEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: George Takei (As Adam Carolla repeatedly said, “because he is gay.”)
WOMEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: Dayana Mendoza

Each team had two windows to design. Aubrey took off with a design on the women’s side and sort of took over. George for the men seemed to be just a drop lost and right away Clay started losing faith. Adam seemed at the start to be pushing him a little because George didn’t have much drive. Dee had to leave early for a doctor’s appointment to check the finger he hurt on the last task. Does that make him weak? A target? It is all about the game.

Each team split in two, one group to get supplies and one to work on the display. For the men, Adam took over but for some reason he didn’t call George to check on anything. Aubrey was running the women’s site and not making any friends. It was probably a mistake not staying on site.

Trump’s assistant Amanda got some lines this week. She also works for Ivanka on the clothing line.

“That ladies think they have a theme but I have no idea what it is yet.” – Don Junior. give them credit for one thing, though. When they needed help, they called Ivanka direct. It later came back to hurt the men that they did not.

The gay issue was front and center on the men’s team. Adam first picked Clay, then endorsed George, because they were gay. But later on Arsenio spotted that as a negative. As he said, if the gay teammates only looked at how men dress, they should step back and let Arsenio, who notices women, take over. (If you have an issue with that, feel free to comment but remember that it was Arsenio and Adam, not me.) Adam continued his (correct, in my book) criticism of George and if they lose, it is obvious he will be the main target. George didn’t even go over to the display to check it out. His group did their thing and he called it a day.

At the doctor, Dee learns that he needs surgery. And he needs it fast or the bone will naturally set in a very bad way. It appeared, and it could be simply due to the editing, that he had it right then and there. He returned later that day with his arm and hand in a full cast.

For the men’s team, and I got a laugh out of this, there was a snag with the pieces fabricated by Paul Senior’s “people.” They were designed incorrectly. I have no idea if he sent it out to OCC or a contractor, that is how Adam described them, his “people.” (Later on George told Ivanka it was OCC and Paul confirmed it in the boardroom.) So yes, Paul Teutul’s design was wrong. I hope Jason had a hand in it. Anyway, it was funny seeing Adam Carolla and Lou Ferrigno show Paul Sr. how to fabricate a sign.

Funny line: Paul Sr. to Lou Ferringo: “Why you gotta be so big?”

It isn’t smooth sailing for the women either; their pictures are not ready. So Aubrey just jumped in and took charge. If they lose, it is Aubrey and Dayana in the boardroom.

“George didn’t make himself useful in any way.” -Clay, describing how everyone else pitched in to help get the models ready.
“George gave away so much authority that he had no purpose anymore.” -Clay.

The unveiling came and the men’s windows? BORING. The displays were bare and there was nothing going on in them. Clay and some models were in a very bare office setting. George, presenting to Ivanka, could barely speak, mixing up Clay and Arsenio, stuttering, and generally being unable to explain anything. Arsenio was in the other window, a boring bare red carpet with Arsenio and some models. Visually there was zero to hold your attention. Not a single member of the men’s team looked happy. They knew they had a dog.

The women’s windows looked more interesting. The models were doing things, the design of the set was interesting, and while it wasn’t impressive either, it was light years ahead of the men, at least in my opinion.

If the women lose, who will Dayana bring back? She couldn’t say. Who would Aubrey bring back? She tried to pass, but when pressed, she said she’d want Lisa and Patricia on her team. Patricia had great words for Lisa too.

It wasn’t the same on the men’s team. As they went to commercial at 10:25, Clay’s words about George were brought up. Clay defended them and even Arsenio, in defending George, was kid of lukewarm. It was clear Arsenio was hedging his words. He said, in effect that if he did a bad job, it was on George for not supervising him.

THE WINNER: The Women. Given that the woman’s team were, as it was put a few times, the exact demographic the line was designed for, and it contained professional models and actresses, this was no surprise.

Arsenio got knocked for the clothing, Lou and Adam got knocked for the fabrication, and George took hits for not being closely involved. Lou said he would fire Arsenio, Paul, who got nothing but praise for his sign, said he would fire George for not supervising and lack of communication. (I hope the American Chopper viewers appreciate that.) Clay of course blamed George: “He was not always present in what happened.” Penn, after explaining that he had little to add to the task, didn’t pick anyone to go, and Dee was given a pass. Arsenio, who would you fire? If it came down to the clothes, it should be him. Bad move. Who would Adam fire? George, because everyone did good so it rests on the project manager’s shoulders. Penn reluctantly agreed.

GOING TO THE BOARDROOM: George, Arsenio, and surprisingly, Lou, who George claimed misunderstood directions. I have to wonder, what directions?

George said that another team member asked Lou to step back, and it had to be Adam, who felt that Lou was horning in on his job. Lou once again defended himself very well. I really want to see him as the p.m. soon. As the boardroom went on, it sounded more and more like even George expected to be fired. He was making his goodbyes before the decision was made.

YOU’RE FIRED: George Takei

NEXT WEEK: A Buick presentation, and the commercial promises two firings.

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The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Two

26 Feb

February 26, 2012

On last week’s show, the men won the first challenge, led by Paul Teutul Sr.’s mysterious benefactor and his $305,000 donation.  The women went to the boardroom and Cheryl Tiegs got fired, thanks to her admission that “I don’t know if this is right for me.” Paul Sr. and George Takei butted heads and Victoria Gotti proved to be not so popular among her teammates. (Want the full recap of Week One? Click here.)

In related news, Paul Teutul Sr. unveiled the Trump Bike over on American Chopper, which is something of a sister show at the moment since both shows are filmed simultaneously and some of the activity surrounding Paul Senior is spilling over to the Discovery Channel. (You can get the complete American Chopper recap by clicking here.)

And now, Week Two!

“Every last one of ya’s is bitches!” Victoria Gotti to the women upon entering the lounge after the boardroom. The opening minutes  of the show are setting her up as the resident villan, a role she is clearly comfortable in. Let’s just say she did not come off too sweetly last week.

GUEST JUDGE: James Lipton of Inside the Actors Studio, who claims to be a Knight of the Republic of France
THE TASK: Put on a 12-15 minute show for Medieval Times

MEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: Penn Jillette, and he is a perfect choice. They are a man down this week, as Adam Carolla is hosting a wedding at his own home.
WOMEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: Lisa Lampinelli

Lisa’s idea is to do a Real Housewives of Camelot show, and of course they have a Real Housewife on their team. Who are they fighting over? Donald Trump. Not bad, but before she got the idea out she ordered her team not to interrupt her, which they did, so she chastised them, and they interrupted her, and she ordered them not to interrupt, and eventually her idea came out. Ought to be an interesting team dynamic.

Aubrey O’Day, last week’s comic relief, seemed almost confident and commanding this week. Debbie was a little jealous that she seemed to be second in command to Lisa.

Ever been to Medieval Times? It is a fake castle in which you sit stadium-style around an arena watching “knights” joust and sword fight while you eat food with your hands. Seriously, I’ve been there a few times and it is a lot of fun. The audience is encouraged to cheer and root for their section’s knight. And speaking of sword fighting, any comic book fans reading this? Lou Ferrigno with a sword was shades of Planet Hulk.

Penn was in charge for the men and who else could do it but him? He knows entertainment, he knows big-stage shows, he knows how to entertain an audience (OK, so does Dee.) . Am I going on about him too much? No, I’ve seen him in person and he is brilliant. And unlike the women’s team, he is planning to make every member look good. The women are already fighting, and none more than Lisa who is bawling them out for daring to talk. She better watch out, the women are practicing sword fighting!

“She was running the show like a tyrant.” Dayana about Lisa. She wasn’t the only one with a problem with Lisa. Victoria, who was made stage manager, thought she was marginalized into a tiny part. Lisa said the real actresses got the acting parts, but then she cast a Real Housewife to act, throwing that reasoning out the window.

During the rehearsal of the show, Teresa talked about what it is like working with real actresses, which once again makes me wonder why anyone would consider anyone from a trashy reality show a star. I get that the show is amazingly popular, but to call anyone of them from that show a star? Not in my book. Not that Victoria Gotti is any kind of star either. Nor a particularly good speller. She was spelling Medieval Times “Mid-evil Times.” And that was on a computer with spell check, and dozens of Medieval Times signs around her.

Paul Sr. brought one of his OCC bikes, a blue medieval style bike with swords and chain mail on it. I didn’t recognize it. Any of my American Chopper readers know which one it was? The men seem to be a pretty cohesive and happy team. Clay seems to be into the task, George was into the costume, literally, and everyone seemed positive and on-task. In other words, more or less the opposite of the women. Lou Ferrigno and Paul Teutul looked scary as knights, Clay seemed to be reliving his Spamalot days in his outfit, and Dee seemed comfortable as a woman.

During the rehearsal, George ad-libbed, which was a problem because A- he was not funny, and B- he was messing up Clay’s lighting cues. Worse, however, was when Dee’s horse got spooked and he hurt his finger on the saddle. It might be broken. He needs to go the hospital, but it is nearly showtime! What will he do? Commercial break.

Commercial break over. What did he do? He put ice on it.

The men’s show began with Michael Andretti on horseback and Penn and Arsenio (that’s what they called themselves) getting the crowd hyped. George announced the knights: Lou on horseback vs. Paul Sr. on his bike for the honor of Lady Dee. They fought and Lou did something that must have put a smile on Paul Junior’s face and slew Paul Sr. Lou won the “Lady” and rather than kiss Dee Snyder he slew himself.

The women’s show started and Lisa on the mic was scary. She yelled. Loudly. The point of the microphone is that you do not need to yell. The women’s show was pretty much just a medieval catfight with swords, and I am sure a certain segment of the male audience was totally digging it, especially when one of the women had a (pixellated) wardrobe malfunction.

Yeah, it was sort of like Xena, but much, much worse.

“I felt like a real actress.” Teresa, describing how she felt when flipping a table in the arena. Sheesh.

Although the crowd seemed to love it, the women’s show seemed really stupid. The men got it right.

The boardroom began at 10:08.

Trump wasted no time getting the friction going, asking victoria what she thought of Lisa as project manager. Victoria didn’t attack, not yet, but she was clearly not a happy camper.

Victoria: “I was really hurt and disappointed because I did not think it was sending a good signal to the other girls.” Yeah, that was it. A real team player that Victoria.

The men all rallied around Penn. Paul and Arsenio said he was phenomenal, and Lou said he was excellent. George called him a Renaissance man. Who was the star? Lou said “the team is the star.”  But if they lose, who will Penn bring back? After some deliberation, Lou and George. Why? I am not sure. Penn couched it in such a way that he was somehow complimenting them as he picked them.

Lou: “I an insulted.”
Penn: “It is (insulting) and I am sorry for that.”

And in a magic moment, Lou out-talked Penn and left him near-speechless. Penn admitted he was wrong and had nothing coherent to add. He seriously backtracked from his position. I really need to re-watch that scene later, but my best guess is that the women are going back to the boardroom. But if I remeber nothing else from this week;s show, it will be Penn folding like a cheap suit and asking Lou to forgive him. I give Penn a ton of credit for being a gentleman and admitting he was wrong, but he had zero strength of his conviction.

Who would Lisa bring back? Victoria (duh) and Dayana. The women- and bear in mind that the winner or loser was still not announced- started fighting about the concept and who should get fired, with the majority blaming Lisa and Aubrey since it was all their idea and none of the other women were allowed to talk.

THE WINNER: By audience vote: Men (558) Women (363) The Men win! $40,000 to Opportunity Village, Penn’s charity.

The men left and the women continued to blame Lisa. Hard to argue, since I thought the concept was lousy to begin with. Except for possibly Victoria, the women all worked hard. It was pretty clear that the women wanted Lisa out, and it didn’t help that Lisa was such a bossy pain on this task.

Clay, looking at James Lipton on the monitor: “They don’t fight like this on Inside the Actor’s Studio!”
(Speaking of James Lipton, he didn’t add very much sitting in for Ivanka this week.)

Don Junior pointed out that when he visited the women, no one had a single complaint about the show or their tasks, and wondered why all this was suddenly coming out.

Who would you fire? Patricia picked Victoria, Aubrey picked Dayana, Dayana picked Lisa.

Lisa brought back Victoria and Dayana.

The commercial break hit at 10:52 and I am hoping that Dayana gets fired for no other reason than to keep the Lisa/Victoria feud going another week.

BTW- at 10:59 that boardroom fight was still going on and I realized that the show was scheduled to go to 11:08.

And what else happened at 10:59? Lisa Lampinelli started to cry. Angry tears, but tears nonetheless. I did not expect it to her. She said the theme was not why they lost and even Don Junior backed her up, saying that  the theme “seemed to be one of the winning points with the audience” and he also pointed out that when he arrived to check on the women’s team, Victoria was not there after getting pissed off and leaving in a huff. James backed Lisa (in a bizarre theatrical way) and said he was impressed with her passion.

Who would Dayana like to see on the team going forward? Lisa.

YOU’RE FIRED: Victoria. (And rightly so.)

NEXT WEEK: A task involving Ivanka’s fashion line, and Ivanka picks the winner.

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