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My Review of Fibber McGee and Molly

17 Jul

July 17, 2014

Fibber McGee and Molly is an Old Time Radio show, meaning that no one under the age of 50 has heard of it. Well, that’s not entirely true. OTR has a thriving sub-culture of radio show collectors, each hoarding old and rare copies of shows that originally aired from about 1935 to 1963. You and I don’t get to listen to these. Old records (called “transcription discs”) are treated like gold, only rarer, and are only played once every epoch when wizened old men pay homage to The Great and Terrible Victrola and play these discs while taking their communal liver pills.

Aside from that, there is a ton of old radio shows available out there for free and they aren’t hard to find. Are they in the public domain? Trust me; you are better off not asking. Move along.

I’ve got some favorites and even though they date back decades, you are very familiar with at least one of them, a guy you may have heard of called Superman. And another favorite isn’t quite as big but he is currently being published and can be found pretty close to ol’ Supes, The Shadow. I also enjoy The Jack Benny Show and Abbott and Costello, just to name a few.

There are also some shows I really don’t care for, and I recently came into possession of a free collection of one of those shows, Fibber McGee and Molly. Now, I do tend to be a discriminating snob, but on the other hand, free is free, and who am I to look a $40 value in the mouth? I decided to give it a listen because my favorite comedy, The Great Gildersleeve, was a spin-off of this show and I was eager to hear his early appearances.

Gildersleeve does not appear in these shows.

I am nothing if not a fair man and I have to admit that, in all honestly, while I have not come to love Fibber McGee and Molly, I have come to hate them.

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Fibber McGee is- wait for it- a fibber. He lies. He exaggerates, He makes himself out to be a big man and he is not. (But if he has no influence, why does the Mayor always drop by his house? I have no idea, the Mayor hates him.) Molly is his wife who affectionately calls her husband “McGee.” She’ll also lovingly refer to him as “Fibber” or “Himself,” as in “Himself has been thinking of flying an airplane.” She has a habit of laughing hysterically whenever an actor flubs a line, which seems to happen quite a lot on this show.

Most of the humor of the show comes from the broad characterizations of the supporting characters and Fibber’s (Jim Jordan) less-than-subtle wordplay. While the audience laughs at even the least funny pun, very often some of the jokes come and go without a whisper of a laugh, a point even Fibber will sometimes remark on. Marian Jordan, who played Molly, battled alcoholism most of her life. And while that isn’t a laughing matter, it is amusing to try to guess how far in the bag she is during any given performance. Sometimes she laughs so hard at some of the jokes (especially the flubs) that you wonder what show she’s listening to that only she can hear.

One of the conceits of this show is that everyone in town stops by their house, for no reason, at any time. This includes The Mayor, Mrs. Carstairs, who is the local rich woman and sounds like Margaret Dumont from the old Marx Brothers movies, Doctor Gamble who is not and is never funny, and other assorted neighbors with funny voices. There’s the wimpy guy who sounds like Droopy Dog, the old guy who sounds old, and the little girl who messes up the English language and is obviously voiced by a middle-aged man. (Actually, Molly provides her voice, and what does that tell you about Molly?)

And don’t get me started on Harlow Wilcox, the Johnson Wax salesman who is so annoying even Fibber seems to dislike him- and that’s the sponsor’s product!

Everyone takes a shot at insulting Fibber and out of all of them, the doctor is the least funny. He’ll walk in and say “Hello, trombone,” or “Hello Molly, hello tennis shoe.” Is that funny? No, it is not. There is no context for any of that. Why is he calling him “trombone?” There is no set up for it, no rhyme or reason. If Fibber was playing in a band, ok, maybe.

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Although the show is generally not funny, and gets less funny the more Molly opens her mouth, the more I listen the more annoying it gets. Like I said, people just drop by all the time and that’s how Fibber gets to interact with them. Fred Allen used to walk down Allen’s Alley and knock on doors. This is the same thing except Fibber stays home and everyone comes to him.  But there is almost never any reason for them to drop by. There will be a knock on the door, Mrs. Carstairs will walk in and immediately get caught up in the McGee shenanigans, then say she has to get going and leave. Why did she stop by to begin with? We never find out. Then The Old Timer will stop over, Fibber will badger him about something and he’ll leave, and we’ll never know why he came by. Then Wallace Wimple would come and go, and why we’ll never know. (BTW, he calls his wife “Sweetie Face,” which just sounds ridiculous.) OK, maybe I’m being picky. After all, this is a silly sitcom and all the coming and going is just to set up McGee for jokes anyway. But on at least one occasion it was glaringly stupid.

In one particular episode, it was ten degrees below freezing and Fibber, with his usual false bravado, was threatening to go out for a brisk walk by the lake. Of course, he had no intention of going. Did I mention it was also snowing and hailing outside, with a wind strong enough to knock over tress? Then there is a knock on the door and Doctor Gamble comes in. After a few “jokes” Fibber tells him he’s going for a walk, and the doctor tells him that it isn’t fit for man nor beast outside, that he saw a snow drift as big as a house, that Fibber would freeze before he got three feet. The doctor then said goodbye and left. So what was he doing out? What did he want at the McGee’s? Where was he going? No clue. Seemed like he just went out to tell Fibber not to go out. I would have just used the phone. Then Mrs. Carstairs stopped by, said it was so cold her butler froze and left, as mysteriously as she arrived. Then everyone else did the same thing. If it was so nasty out, what were any of them doing outside? We’ll never know.

You know, if the jokes were funny, if the show made me laugh, none of this would have bothered me.

Overall, and seriously, Fibber McGee and Molly really isn’t bad. I have gotten one or two chuckles out of it, but in the long run, I’ve gotten more laughs from watching some baby ducks on the side of the road.

My Review of Man of Steel (AKA Superman 2013)

9 Jul

July 9, 2013

The important thing to remember about Man of Steel, the latest Superman movie, is that it was a reboot. This means that you can totally forget about the last film, Superman Returns. Luckily, that movie was easily forgotten. You may have forgotten about it already. And the guy who played Superman, Brando Nutcase or whatever his name was? I think he pumped my gas last week.

Indian Superman

Anyway, Man of Steel is another retelling of the familiar Superman origin story told in such a way as to be unfamiliar. Oh, the broad strokes are still there- Krypton is doomed, and Jor-El for some reason can only build an infant-sized rocket instead of one to hold his wife and himself. This is so unbelievable. Realistically, the rocket should be big enough to hold his wife too, so Jor-El could rocket her off-planet and spend the rest of Krypton’s remaining time playing poker and smoking cigars.

Man of Steel begins with a sequence on Krypton that is half Star Wars, a third Star Trek, and wait, I have to do some math (one half  equals three sixths, and one-third equals two sixths, so that makes five sixths) leaving one sixth for Russell Crowe’s beard.

Krypton is doomed, General Zod leads a coup- a very badly-timed coup given that Krypton barely has time to watch two episodes of The Walking Dead- and Jor-El shoots his son to Earth. For some reason Joe-El has implanted the Krypton Codex in his son. This is some sort of skull that holds the genetic code of every Krytponian yet to be born. Does he bother to tell his son this important bit of information? No.

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As you’ve seen in the Christopher Reeve version, Zod and Company (which is also the name of a high-end fashion house in NYC) end up in the Phantom Zone, where, luckily for them, they survive the destruction of Krypton. Was that a spoiler? No, we all know the story. And if you saw Star Wars episode 2 you saw the Krypton chase scene and if you saw the first Star Trek reboot you already saw the special effect where Nero’s ship Zod’s prison goes into the Phantom Zone.

And one last note about Krypton before I finally get along with this review. You would think that such an advanced society as Krypton would develop more comfortable clothes. Sheesh, everyone here wears clothes that take huge machines to put on or take off. No t-shirts here, even the old folks on the ruling council, all of whom are at least 270 years old, wear headdresses that would make Pocahontas laugh with their delicate complexity. If any of those ancients ever nod off the weight of their head ornaments would decapitate them.

So baby Superman arrives on Earth, yada yada yada, and we get a lot of flashbacks, which I will put in chronological order for those of you with logical, ordered minds like me.

  • Clark gets bullied in grade school
  • Clark gets bullied in high school
  • Clark’s father dies in a tornado
  • Clark feels sad

Clark goes off on a journey (of discovery? Who knows?) around the USA, taking odd jobs along the way. In Alaska he becomes a crab fisherman and rescues some guys from an exploding oil rig. In the Mid-West he becomes a busboy where he protects a waitress from being harassed by a trucker. In New York he becomes yet another illegal alien hot dog vendor, where he protects his customers from salmonella by making sure the franks are properly boiled. In Alaska, he becomes part of a construction crew working with the government to uncover an ancient alien spaceship trapped deep in the ice.

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All of these things he does so totally inconspicuously that Lois Lane tracks him down and figures out his secret identity on her lunch break.

From here on, Clark:

  • Fights Zod and destroys most of Smallville
  • Fights Zod and destroys all of Metropolis
  • Fights Zod and destroys every truck, building, and IHOP in sight
  • No one seems to mind or even notice

Zod has got a mad on for Kal-El because he is a pretty stuffy guy and he wants the codex to being back Krypton, even if it means destroying the Earth.

On the other hand, Christopher Meloni shows up as a solider and Laurence Fishburne gets a paycheck as Perry White. (See what I did there? I didn’t do a black White joke. Good for me.)

It is a good film and if you are one of those guys who thinks that Superman should never kill, well I won’t spoil it for you, but in the climax, Superman kills a certain Kryptonian general whom I will not name so this cannot be called a spoiler.

Unlike just about every other Superman film ever filmed, there was no Lex Luthor in this film, and that’s a good thing. Aren’t we all tired of seeing the same old thing in every Superman film? One thing about this film, it was not the same old thing. Jimmy Olsen? No. Steve Lombard? Yes. Kryptonite? No. Kryponian atmosphere weakness? Yes.

And one last note- The Lone Ranger sucked.

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