Tag Archives: religion

Doctor Who: My Contrary View

11 Nov

November 11, 2014

This contains major spoilers for the series finale of Doctor Who, Death in Heaven. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading here.

I really enjoyed Death in Heaven. The highlight was Michelle Gomez as the Mistress. I’d love for her to somehow come back. I also think Peter Capaldi is a fantastic Doctor. In fact, though I mostly enjoyed this season, I think Capaldi has been better than the scripts he’s had to work with. I’m looking forward to next year. He should really come into his own, with a companion that will be written just for him. I liked his relationship with Clara, but it was clear she wasn’t the right companion for him.

But I had some major problems with the finale, and judging from the online reviews I’ve seen, I may be in the minority. Let’s start off with what stood out to me the most, then take the rest in no particular order.

The Bad Guys Won

Mistress and the Cybermen may not be around to savor their victory, but they achieved it nonetheless. Think about what they did: they successfully robbed every known grave on Earth. Every tomb in every cemetery is now empty. Think about the seismic shift in how people grieve/mourn/worship that must create. How will people react to their beloved ancestors not only being taken from their resting places, but then blown to atoms? There would have to be a seismic shift in most people’s world- or religion- view. What would the world’s religious leaders say? How would society react? And what becomes of all the now vacant cemeteries? Yes, everyone who dies post-invasion will continue to be buried, but in some respects, a huge chunk of the past is now moot.

cybermen-and-the-12th-doctor

The Cybermen Are No Longer Interesting

Honestly, the new series Doctor Who has never been able to make the Cybermen interesting. Even when they were introduced, they weren’t the real thing; they were parallel-universe versions. By the time Neil Gaiman got to them, all he did was manage to make them faster and sleeker. Their motivations? Backstory? Unexplored. And that’s a shame since they have such a rich backstory. Want Cybermen done right? Big Finish did it with Spare Parts. All this series finale did was finish them off. There was no indication that the Cybermen were working with Mistress, no indication that they had any motivation or agenda of their own. By all appearances, Missy was using them as she would any other weapon. The Cybermen were merely tools, same as a gun or a tank. And they are so far from their Mondas/Telos origins that they might as well have a new name. These are Cybermen in name only.

The Brigadier

Most reviews are calling this episode a touching goodbye to the Brig.

Nonsense. Seeing the Brigadier as a Cyberman was just painful. I’ve been watching Doctor Who since I was a child in the 70’s and I have seen every existing episode. To see a man who fought the Cybermen in his second appearance turned into one was just sad. Yes, it was great that he overcame his programming and saved his daughter, but when was the Brigaider ever a murderer? That laser bolt truly did come from out of the blue. You can argue that he saved the Doctor from becoming a murderer, you can debate that he was a soldier doing what soldiers do in war, you can argue that he was just doing what had to be done. But again, when did the Brigadier ever kill someone in cold blood? And you can’t blame it on his cyber-conversion. If he overcame his programming to save his daughter and not fly off into the sky with the others, then you can’t use it as an excuse here. This scene just sullied the Brigadier’s memory.

And then he became one.

And then he became one.

President Who

Seriously? On the show, it has been established that the Doctor is too well known. He wiped his memory from people’s minds and erased himself from the entire Dalek network. Behind the scenes, the producers said that the Doctor was too big and had to go back to being more mysterious . So what do they do? They make him President of Earth. Yes, on the show the Doctor protested, but the bottom line is when they wrote this episode, they wrote him into being President of Earth.

So much for mystery.

 

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This Was Your Life!

21 Sep

September 21, 2014

Generic, syrupy, goofy game show music swells, but with some odd, dark notes thrown in.
Stage lights swell, bright, a little too bright, with red lights on the audience.

OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: Let’s give a big, warm welcome, heh heh, a very warm welcome, heh heh, for our next contestant, Willy Baxter! Willy Baxter, COME ON THE HELL OUT!

From stage left, Willy Baxter walks onstage, half escorted, half pushed by two very muscular red devils complete with horns, tails, and pitchforks. Willy looks very, very scared and confused.

OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: And now, here’s our host. You know him as the taskmaster who punishes contestants with thorns and bleeding pores, and that’s when he’s in a good mood. Demons and devils, incubi and succubi, I give to you, Guy Lucifer! C’mon the Hell out, Guy, we love you!

Guy Lucifer suddenly appears in a cloud of smoke. The odor of brimstone causes Willy Baxter to vomit onstage. A small winged nymph flies over and hands Guy a microphone.

GUY LUCIFER: Hey, it is so great to be here. Welcome to the show where every day, someone new gets the chance to win fabulous prizes. Johnny, tell this poor piece of crap what he can win!

OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: He can’t win a new car, that’s for sure!

Audience laughs in strange combinations of animal grunts and semi-human howls of pain.

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OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: Willy Baxter, you’re not playing for anything! You’re here for our eternal amusement!

Guy Lucifer smiles and a small black beetle crawls out from between his teeth. Willy Baxter falls to his knees and vomits some more.

OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: Oh Willy, I’m just kidding. You do have one chance, one chance only!

Willy looks up, hopefully.

OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: You might win this! (Curtain opens!) A lifetime supply of Turtle Wax! HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HAAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

GUY LUCIFER: Don’t you get it? You’re dead! DEAD! Willy F-ing Baxter, YOU ARE DEAD! Some ass ran you over with his motorcycle while you were crossing the street!

OFFSTAGE ANNOUNCER: That’s right! Your head ended up twenty feet away from your body! AH HA HA HAAAAAAA! It was great!

GUY LUCIFER: Let’s get started Willy, we don’t have all day. Here on This Was Your Life, we bring out people who were close to the contestant, reunite them with their near and dear, give them just a taste of what their life was like. Then we turn you inside out, impale you on a spit, and roast you alive!

WILLY BAXTER: I’m dead?

GUY LUCIFER: Shut the F up you worthless toad. Time for our first guest. Willy, do you remember this voice?

VOICE: What happened, you crap your pants? Drop down and give me twenty!

WILLY: Uh, what……?

GUY LUCIFER: That’s right, it’s your old high school gym teacher, Ed Sprick! C’mon out Ed!

Ed Sprick enters stage right, crosses to Willy, and kicks him square in the crotch. He waves to the crowd, leaves the stage. Willy lies doubled over in pain while the demons take turns kicking him and breaking his ribs.

GUY LUCIFER! Time for a commercial break! But don’t worry Willy, there’s lots more to come, lot’s more, including all the woman who refused to go out with you! We’ll be right back!

Fade out.

 

 

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