Tag Archives: NFL

Top Ten Things Rex Ryan Can Do To Keep His Job

6 Nov

November 6, 2014

NFLNewYorkJetsLogo

The New York Jets are a woeful 2 – 9. Head Coach Rex Ryan has been slowly losing his grip on his job over the past few seasons, but this looks like the end for Rex. Is there anything he can do to stay on Gang Green’s sidelines?

Top Ten Things Rex Ryan Can Do To Keep His Job

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– Hope that General Manager John Idzik is as clueless as he seems.

– Put on a wig, switch places with twin brother Rob Ryan.

NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints

– Hide under bed for the entire offseason, just show up next season.

– Pray for divine intervention from WFAN’s Mike Francesa.

– Find a way to travel back in time and bring back 1969 Super Bowl MVP Joe Namath to start next week.

– If they want to fire him, they have to go through Michael Vick first.

– Invoke the “If Roger Goodell can keep his job, so can I” defense.

– Promise that if he stays, he’ll try really hard to do better next time.

– Change name to Sex Ryan, do stuff.

– Nothing.

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Football is back! (Super Sunday Special!)

8 Sep

September 8, 2013

To commemorate the return of football season, here is one of Allan Keyes classic J-E-T-S football posts.

December 10, 2012

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Sports fans were rocked by the news that Jets super fan “Fireman Ed” had retired citing……something or other.  I couldn’t be bothered to really read about it. It’s not like Lou Gehrig’s retirement speech. For those of you outside of New York or with lives, Fireman Ed was some old sourpuss in a fireman’s hat who led the J-E-T-S  JETSJETSJETS! chant at Giants stadium, the home of the Superbowl Champion Giants (oh yeah, and the Jets also). He recently announced he was stepping down from his super fan position, quite possibly the first recorded instance of this sort of thing ever happening, because it’s just too stupid for words really.

     fireman ed                  

So with the void left by the “retirement” from a voluntary and non-existent job of being an overenthusiastic sports fan, tens of bored Jets fans cast their thoughts on the question – who will be the next “super fan” to lead the Jets?

Ladies and Gentlemen, wonder no more! I give you……………………………CAPTAIN JET (No, really):

 captain jet

There’s a lot to process here folks, so I made a helpful guide for you:

 Captain Jet - Meet Fireman Ed's Replacement!

 

….yeah, I know, I know.  I’m not even gonna make a further comment on this guy, except to note that he at least gives it his awful all.

Here’s a poseur spotted at that same game that needs to take a few lessons and up his act:

 UR DOING IT WRONG

 

Pretty sad really for both of these guys. They pale in comparison to the coolest football fans evah……the denizens of the Oakland Raiders “Black Hole”

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So…..when does baseball season start again?