Tag Archives: newspaper comics

The Saturday Comics: Marmaduke (So Good It HAD To Be Reposted)

5 Oct

October 5, 2013

I love this post. Now you might be thinking that as a writer I’d love everything I write, and I do (egotist that I am), even the bad ones. But this is different. I LOVE this particular post. And I have been saving it for a special occasion. What can be more special than Allan Keyes wedding? He’s getting married tomorrow, so in honor of my brother’s wedding, here is my gift to him, my favorite Saturday Comics post.

Hey, it’s cheaper than a toaster.

sat com logo

From January 21, 2012

Marmaduke needs no introduction. No, scratch that, Marmaduke doesn’t deserve one. Marmaduke ranks high in the pantheon of the Great Unfunny Comic Strips. Top of that list? The Family Circus. But while Family Circus can at least claim to be a look at the human condition through the eyes of children, Marmaduke is simply an unfunny strip about a gangly dog.

Let’s take a look at some Marmaduke “comics” and see if we can find a shred of humor in them.

Ha! HA HA HA! Because dogs eat garbage! HA HA HA!

Here’s that wacky mother again! She’s running, get it? Because dogs bark when they are hungry! HA HA HA HA HA!

Now the kids are bringing the funny! They hung a bone around Marmaduke’s neck and called it bling! Yeah! Those white kids are so ghetto! Oh yeah!

Oh, that’s cute and funny! Marmaduke sees a woman carrying little dog and he wants to be carried too BUT HE’S TOO BIG! HAHAHAHAHA!

OK, now THAT’S funny! Marmaduke is screwing the guy on the sidewalk while the perverted little kid looks on- see the nasty grin on his face? He knows the score!

See? That’s all it takes for Marmaduke to be funny: hardcore bestiality and corruption of a minor. Now if only there were more panels like this. Then maybe Marmaduke would be pulled from the paper.

The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: The Adolph Hitler Doll (Historic Yet Awful Repost)

24 Aug

August 25, 2013

Summer is nearing an end, so you know what that means. Hitler!

from January 5, 2013

HITLER DOLL HEADER

hitler doll

This doll is made, I fervently hope, not for children but for the collector’s market. The totally messed-up and psychologically screwy collector’s market. The Adolph Hitler doll is a part of the War Ciminals of the 2oth Century series. Other dolls in the set include Himmler and Castro.

Here are a few comments from around the web:

From Graveyardrecords.com:

This doll was made by In The Past Toys of Staten Island, New York in 2000 and became 1 of the hardest dolls of Adolf Hitler to every be made, it is also the best looking doll to ever be made. The likeness is dead on and looks just as Adolf did at the height of his power..

This doll stands about 12″ tall and the box is in Near Mint condition with only minor self wear.

Please keep in mind that Graveyard Records & Movie Maniacs is only selling this doll due to it’s historic / collector purpose and is not intended to glorify, nor exploit the horrors and atrocities of war.

From vice.com:

“All the GI Joe collectors I used to meet would say how lousy figures were these days,” Deborah says from her studio in Staten Island. “They would go on about how nobody was making figures that collectors really wanted to see. I decided the best one to make would be Hitler.

“At first I had one or two people complaining, but the overall response to the figure has been amazing.

Obviously not one to be held back in her commercial ambitions by taste or decency, Deborah’s soon launching a set of serial killer dolls including Charles Manson, the Hillside Strangler, David Berkowitz aka the Son Of Sam, “Hannibal the Cannibal, and the Chainsaw Massacre guy.”

Even better, she’s about to create a line of “Middle Eastern Agitators,” which will feature 12-inch, detailed-to-the-max dolls of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.

Who’s next? Quaddafi? The Ayatollah?

“I can’t tell you our secrets, but there’s going to be 15-20 new figures out this year. Don’t rule anything out.”

Seriously, who wants these dolls? Who is clamoring for a Charles Manson doll?

If you need a Hitler doll, keep it to yourself.

I just don’t get it. I would not play with this, I would not display this, I would not let any hint escape that I own this.

Never mind registration for guns, I want registration for Hitler doll owners.

HitlerDoll