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Tag Archives: Netflix

Generally Speaking

29 Jan

January 29, 2015

Most of my office returned to work today after a day off for a snow storm. If you live in the Northeast, this is the storm that dumped around two feet of snow and caused all life to grind to a halt. Except if you live in NYC, then you simply had an annoying 5 inches of snow.  (Yes, annoying, Not the “storm to end all storms” the weather service predicted, but enough snow to make you break a sweat while shoveling out your car.)

So we all returned to work today, including one guy who works on the other side of the office. I don’t know him, not even his name. He sits alone and works and never seems to socialize. He has a strange haircut and keeps his shirts buttoned up to the neck even in the hottest weather. I suspect he’s the type of guy who’d call in a bomb scare to Netflix if they weren’t streaming his favorite episode of I Love Lucy.

A whole bunch of us were standing around fairly close to his desk and some of the women started talking about the boots they were wearing. Someone else in the group noticed that none of the men were wearing boots and the subject came around to why we weren’t. I said that “men usually don’t care about boots unless they are a cowboy or a General.” It was just a forgettable, silly throwaway line.

“What about Privates?”

It was the weirdo. He was talking?

“You think Privates don’t wear boots?”

I said that I know that Privates, along with everyone else in the army, wear boots. It was just an expression. Then I asked “were you in the army?” That’s me, being all friendly.

“Privates wear boots. They do! It isn’t just Generals who wear boots, it’s all ranks in the army. All the armed services!”

I was going to thank him and then casually call the police, but he turned back to his computer and began typing. Was it about Privates wearing boots? I don’t know.

The conversation petered out after that.

marching%20boots

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They Are Out to Netflix Me (Netflix 5)

29 Feb

February 29, 2012

One again it is time to take a look at Netflix, whose squirrel-based algorithms always manage to come up with suggestions for movies which I might not want to see but will probably get a laugh out of their reasoning.

For example, this was the very first thing they suggested today:

If you have never seen Downfall, trust me, you have seen Downfall. Go to YouTube and search for “Hitler” and you will get a million videos just like this one below:

But getting back to Netflix, why would they think I’d watch a film about Hitler because I enjoyed Curb your Enthusiasm? What is the connection?  I think it is obvious. Hitler. Larry David. The Jews. Thanks a lot Netflix, you anti-Semitic bastards.

What the what now? Does this make any sense to you? Maybe Netflix can provide some clarification.

Clearly Netflix is just recommending things at random. Want more proof?

A Shot in the Dark is a hysterical Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau film. The others are not comedies. A Shot in the Dark takes place in France.Casablanca has a flashback set in France. Chinatown features a detective. Peter Sellers plays a detective in A Shot in the Dark. The Birds is a Hitchcock film about birds attacking humans. A Shot in the Dark may feature some pigeons in an outdoor shot. Is this the best you can do, Netflix?

Duck Soup is a classic Marx Brothers comedy. The other films are not comedies, not even close. So what is the only possible reason for this recommendation?

Seriously, I want you to tell me, what is the only possible reason for this recommendation? ‘Cause I have no idea.

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