Tag Archives: Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride

Tired of Traveling? Fly Teddy Bear Air!

20 Aug

August 20, 2010

Mr. Blog will now take a break and come up for air from his total immersion in the worlds of American Chopper and Scrappers. Consider this a mental health break, though judging from the content you may still wonder about Mr. Blog’s mental health. Enjoy.

I consider myself reasonably well-traveled. In the States, I’ve been to Las Vegas, Chicago, Atlantic City, San Diego, Boston, Houston, Cleveland, Philadelphia, Washington D.C., Orlando, and of course my hometown of New York, not to mention smaller destinations up and down the East Coast including a bunch of places in New Jersey better left unmentioned. Outside the U.S.A., I’ve been to London, Paris, and Edinburgh.

I’ve taken thousands of pictures. When I went to London, the digital era hadn’t quite hit and my uncle, who worked for Fuji Film, hooked me up with 35 rolls of film which I packed in my carry on. I didn’t realize that the carry on would have to go through an x-ray machine, and I was terrified that it would ruin all that film. This was pre-9/11, but just my luck, JFK had an attempted hijacking that morning, so when I barely opened my mouth to take a breath so that I might start forming the idea to argue with the guy behind the scanner, three guards with rifles took a step towards me, so I shut up fast and put the bag in the machine.

The guy running the scanner told me that modern x-ray machines were lower strength than older ones so my film would be fine. I didn’t believe him. I spent eight hours on the plane worried that I would have to buy more film. I got off the plane at Heathrow where I had to put the film through a second x-ray scan and, surer than ever I ruined the film, asked no one less than the pilot of my plane (!) about the film, and he assured me that in all his travels, he has never had a single roll of film ruined by a scanner. I was reassured, somewhat, but of course that fact that as a British pilot he was most likely half drunk at any given time didn’t give me total satisfaction.

On the way home, with the 35 rolls full of pictures, and another 15 that I bought in England (yes, in two weeks I shot fifty rolls of film) the already twice-x-rayed film was scanned again at Heathrow, again at LaGuardia, and you know what? It was fine. I got some great pictures. (Had the film come out all over-exposed I would not be sane enough to type this blog.)

Of course, I do have some regrets about my vacation shots.

I know what you’re thinking: I took no shots whatsoever of any teddy bears or stuffed animals.

From Germany, http://www.thelocal.de/society/20100805-28975.html

Cologne woman hits plush pay dirt with tours for teddy bears

Even stuffed animals need a holiday every now and then, according to a Cologne woman who runs a travel agency catering exclusively to teddy bears and other plush toy friends.

“It sounds crazy to many,” said trained retail saleswoman Ulrike Böhmler, admitting that she has always had a certain affection for stuffed animals.

She still has her first stuffed bear, a gift from her grandmother worn ragged by 35 years of cuddling. For some people, such plush toys remain a sentimental object for an entire lifetime, she says.

This kind of love inspired the mother of two to start her own business three years ago when she suddenly found herself unemployed.

“Back then I said in jest that I would offer teddy bear tours if I couldn’t find anything,” she said, explaining that a friend in Munich had put her up to the idea.

But the joke turned into reality and she founded “Teddy-In,” which now offers trips for toys to Hamburg, Munich, Barcelona, Rome and even Romania where the animals can follow Dracula’s fictional footsteps.

Customers book via email or letter, then ship their stuffed animal to Böhmler, who says it can be “comical” when some boxes arrive with air holes punched into cartons for the inanimate toys. She then guides the toy on its holiday tour, taking photographs along the way.

When they return the animals are sent back to their owners refreshed and with a set of vacation photos to share.

“For many it’s a very original gift idea,” said Karsten Morschett from Teddy Tour Berlin. “Lots of people can no longer take trips on their own due to health problems and send their teddy on holiday instead.”

If I have serious health problems and cannot travel, I wonder if I will really be concerned that my Boo Boo Bear enjoyed the Riviera?

It makes sense though, in a stupid sort of way. The stuffed animal is an avatar, same as you have online. You can visit Copenhagen virtually on your computer, or through your old Bert and Ernie dolls. And this way, you have some really strange, fetishy pictures to show for it.

And seriously, who wouldn’t want a set of photos featuring Sesame Street’s Count von Count touring Dracula’s Castle? I mean besides me.

Stuffed doll: $25. Tour of Romania: $1,500. Pictures of your stuffed animal on vacation while you stay home watching Jerry Springer: Priceless. And stupid. Get off your butt and take a trip yourself!

One word of caution.

While they will happily take stuffed animals, teddy bears, and plushies on vacation, furries are not welcome.

Scrappers Week Three: Spike TV Hits a New High in Low

18 Aug

August 18, 2010

Every show has a moment, an iconic scene or image that stays with you long after the show is over.

M*A*S*H: Hawkeye salutes Radar (“Good-Bye Radar”)
Seinfeld: “The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” (“The Marine Biologist”)
Dallas: Bobby Ewing in the shower (1986 cliffhanger)
Scrappers: Sal the Barber takes a dump in a garbage bag.

This week on Scrappers, Sal the Barber was ripping apart a demolished house, when nature struck. So what did Spike TV do?

Did they:
A- discreetly pan away?
B- cut to another scene?
C- document step by step how Sal used an old garbage bag and a broken toilet?
D- not only C, but also film his partner, in disgust, trying to figure out what Sal ate, as it was very stinky?
E- C and D, and also film Sal sitting on the toilet, grunting?

You know it was E. Nothing is too low for Scrappers.

Keeping the trend going, Noots was shown exiting the van with, for some reason, his pants around his knees. Thank God for blurring, but I wonder if they really did get rid of all the porn last week.

Of course, it could have been worse. Remember what happened to Sterling Hayden when Al Pacino got out of the bathroom in The Godfather?

“Tell Noots this is just business.”

Also this week, the show featured John’s Deli, a local institution owned not by a guy named John, but Robert. Let’s just say it wasn’t shown in the best light and leave it at that. I won’t be stopping in for their roast beef special anytime soon.

I look forward to next week, when, with any luck, I’ll watch a DVD instead of Scrappers.

(I wonder how this show would play in India? No Toilet No Bride)