Tag Archives: Honey Boo Boo

Top Ten Ignored News Stories of 2012

20 Sep

September 19, 2012

Top Ten Ignored News Stories of 2012

We all know that the mainstream media has a narrow focus and an obvious agenda. They only tell us what they want to tell us. But what else is going on in this world? What is the government/big business/New World Order keeping from us?

These are just a few of the real news stories from the alternative press that the mainstream media does not want you to know.

– Utah sucked into black hole in 2008

– NYC Mayor Bloomberg replaced by evil robot. No one notices.

– Cotton candy really is just colored spider webs

– iPhone 5 comes with lifetime committment to anti-Christ

– New American automobiles held together with Crazy Glue

– Honey Boo Boo is a reptilian from Lemuria

– All Presidential elections since the 1950’s decided by two-out-of-three falls, pins count anywhere

– McDonald’s has the DNA of anyone who ever ordered a Happy Meal

– No one interested in nude photos of Donald Trump

– Mitt Romney and Barack Obama share a common ancestor. And he was a total jerk.

Imponderable #59: Honey Boo Boo

24 Aug

August 24, 2012

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

With the inspiring lyrics of Whitney Houston lingering in our ears, let’s watch a little video treat.

Wow.

Just wow. And by the way, TLC really does stand for The Learning Channel, as hard as that is to believe.

I love kids, really I do. Well, I do in theory anyway. In reality? Let’s face it, a lot of kids are annoying. This kid? This kid makes me want to-

DISCLAIMER-  THE EDITORS AND STAFF OR MR. BLOG’S TEPID RIDE DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE TOWARD CHILDREN IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, DESPITE WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IMMEDIATELY BELOW THIS DISCLAIMER.

-toss her headfirst out of a zeppelin.

Want more? Let’s see how much you can stand.

I know, I know, she’s just a kid, and if that clip proves anything it is that I should be ranting about the POS mother, but man, I really really hate that kid.

What kind of mother would raise a kid like Honey Boo Boo?

The question is Imponderable.

But just between you and me, I think we know the answer.