Tag Archives: government

And Don’t Forget to Breathe: The Nanny State in Action

24 Aug

August 24, 2011

I think the writer hit it on the head, but I’m not as upset with the money as he is. I can’t believe this cost much money, but on the other hand this is the government so it probably cost more than my apartment building’s entire combined yearly income for the decade.

My issue is that I simply can’t believe that government feels the need to micromanage our lives so much, and thinks so little of us, that it feels that it has to tell us when to come in out of the rain, so to speak. As much of a nanny as NYC Mayor Bloomberg is, I have to believe that even he would find this silly.

Even worse, it is totally redundant. In order to use this, you have to know what the humidity is. Unlike the temperature, humidity isn’t something that is easily known. Hygrometers and psychrometers are nearly as common as thermometers so to use the app you need to look for the humidity in a weather report, which will also give the heat index. So if you go to get the information to use the app, you also get the information to make the app unnecessary.

The app also gives information on what to do, but that info isn’t even on the front page. You have to waste more time standing in the heat to load that page. And what information does it give? Drink water and take breaks. What government employee needs to be reminded to take a break? Most of them need to be reminded to do some work once in a while.

Again, it is just another example of how the gov’t thinks it needs to micromanage everyone’s life and treat them like babies. I’m not upset about the cost of the app, I’m offended that anyone thinks I am stupid enough to need it.

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The Hillbilly Saves the Economy

18 Aug

August 18, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, The Hillbilly.


With all the talk about the economy and all the trouble on Wall Street I thought I’d give you some advice on how to increase your personal wealth. If everybody would follow some simple rules then we’d have this economy running like a tractor in no time.

1- No need to buy that expensive store-bought pig slop. Good hearty pig slop can be made out of left over parts, gullets, necks, feet, and gizzards and can go straight from your dinner plate to the trough.

2- Why buy a new set of clothes when you start a new job or third grade? A good pair of overalls can last you for years with a little patching in the seat, and it is easy to “accessorize,” like they say in the movie magazines. Change your rope belt for a length of wire and you’ve got a new wardrobe.

3- Who needs high-priced fur coats? Musk rat makes a fine weather keeper-outer, and if you shoot it yourself you can get a meal out of it too. Don’t forget to keep the scent glands, that’s good musk.

4- Making your own mattress isn’t just easy, it can be fun too. Get Granny to form a sewing circle, and the young ones can stuff it with hay from the barn. Just make sure you make it big enough to sleep all your cousins.

5- Schooling? Anyone still in school over age 12 is just putting on airs, I say. The sooner they get to working the sooner the children can pitch in and buy barbed wire.

6- I don’t know what the debt ceiling is or why it so long to raise it, but you and your friends can raise a barn or patch your own ceiling in a day and you only need a couple of jugs of moonshine and some hog ears for lunch.

7- Taxes only get paid if they can find you to pay them.

8- Old cans and jugs never get thrown away. Cans are good for target practice and shooting at them instead of your neighbors keeps you out of trouble. Jugs are good to keep homemade molasses in. And moonshine. A good can should last forever, and who buys canned goods anyway? Waste of money. Like some big green ogre can grow better peas than I have growing behind the outhouse.

9- Never pay a repair man to fix your radio. If you can’t get Ozark Pete on it that set isn’t worth fixing anyway.

10- Going in to town is always a waste of money, especially on a Saturday night. Town-girls are nothing but trouble and always looking for money. If you have to get a woman, look no further than your cousins. You know who they’ve been with and the money you spend on them stays in the family.

You all come back now!

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