Feel like watching a crudely animated and simplistic movie? Well, check this bad boy out:
Sure, it looks like the kind of stop motion movie that I could make, if I could ever improve my artistic skills to the level of a drunken adolescent gorilla. But look again – this is stop motion based on moving around FRICKING ATOMS.
ATOMS.
ATOMS!
How freaking awesome is this??! This really is getting to level of playing god now. You see this thing happening, how long from that………to this:
Ooops, I didn’t mean that…..well, maybe a little. Jason Statham is only a little below Vin Diesel on the dreamy scale! Anyway, really I meant this:
Seeing stories like this, or about things like Virgin Galactic really piss me off, because I know that we’re on the cusp of a whole host of game changing things that I can see coming, and unless they invent a cybernetic colon I doubt I’ll really be around to fully see and enjoy it. All those that will get to live with these wonders will be my kids and grandkids, and really – eff them, the little rotters. They never call and they can’t stay off my lawn.
Think about it – who among us remembers how things were before the internet? I imagine that’s how things will be once this atom moving process gets fully realized, because doubtless there’s lots of ways this can go that aren’t being considered yet, such as these:
or this!
or this!
or this!
I like that last one the best. Goatees = HARDCORE.
Keying off something Mr. B noted about our field trip to Chiller Theater ’13 – the observation that has-been Gooch puncher Todd Bridges eats TastyKakes Coconut Juniors. The fact of the matter is that it’s not so much coconut (blegh) that Toddy boy is eating which bothers me, but the fact that it’s TastyKakes, which is unarguably the worst of the major baked goods food groups.
The Cadillac of the baked snack foods is (was?) undeniably Hostess:
Look at this list – everything is delicious! The mini-muffins I can scarf down bags at a time. Twinkies are THE quintessential American snack cake, HoHos are misogynistic, and anyone who doesn’t love LOVE LUV those fruit pies is a communist. There, I said it. A dirty commie. Besides, those fruit pies are magic:
Yes, Drakes arguably has a lineup of more iconic brands than Hostess – that overrated coffee cake was featured on Seinfeld, and Yankee Doodles (and their fey cousins the Sunny Doodles) are part of our growing up, but it’s all variations on a theme. Where’s the variety! And I’ll put it out there – Funny Bones suck. Tastes like crap covered in thin, flaky chocolate. And the biggest beef I have with Drakes- they never got the cake/cream ratio correct. You’d eat a Yankee Doodle or a Devil Dog and you’d come away with awful mouthfuls of dry cake that stuck to the roof of your mouth and no amount of milk could wash it away because it caked like vaguely chocolate cement to your palate. The only way to eat a Devil Dog without choking on it is to turn it on the side so you can get at the cream from the top and get some in each bite – but the ends where the cream ran out was rough going. Eff that, I pay for a snack I want the whole damn thing. And come on, Yodels and Ring Dings are the same effing cake, just different shapes!! What a lack of creativity!!
Little Debbie:
Ever go to Chinatown and see the dudes selling piles of knockoff Gucci and Louis Vuitton bags on the streetcorners? Or the dude offering a great deal on a “Rolex”? Well, that’s what Little Debbie is. Yeah the stuff is cheap, yeah the stuff is kinda tasty, amazing variety but you’re getting a lower quality product and you know it. The cream in the middle of Little Debbie cakes is tasty, but thin. It doesn’t have the density of Hostess or Drakes, they have the thick cream (man I hope NAMBLA doesn’t read this blog, it sounds so wrong) Little Debbie is what I’d put out for visiting acquaintances, Hostess is what I’d put out for vising friends. Plus the picture of Debbie is kind of creepy. She has those lifeless eyes, dead eyes like a dolls eyes. *Shudder*
TastyKakes:
First of all, they’re so bootleg they use a K for cake. Kind of like Cheeze instead of Cheese. Pure BOOTLEG SHYSTINESS. And I can’t even see one of these awful looking boxes without making an immediate Jerky Boys connection:
Any snack food that makes you think of Pine Cones up the ass cannot be good under any circumstances. So I guess it is appropriate for Todd Bridges after all. Whatchoo Talking About Alan??
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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