Tag Archives: fat guy eating cheeseburger

Kittens! Adorable fuzzy kittens!

9 Jul

 July 9, 2012

Did that title get your attention? Here is Allan Keyes and this time around I had to insert my own comments for balance.

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Kittens! Adorable fuzzy kittens! Everybody loves ‘em! Every time  I see a kewte kitten I just have to run over and pet it and play with it and dangle a piece of yarn in front of it (why yes I carry yarn with me, doesn’t everyone?)

Even Mr. Blog himself loves kittens. Why half of his hard drive is devoted to his favorite: THE LOLCATS:

MR. BTR: I HATE THE LOLCATS! I CAN’T STAND THEM! I AM DEVOTING TOMORROW’S BLOG TO HOW MUCH I HATE THEM! These are NOT from my hard drive!

(TAKEN FROM MR. BLOG’S PRIVATE  STASH:)

MR BTR: GAH! I HATE YOU ALLAN KEYES FOR PUTTING THIS CRAP ON MY SITE!

 (and NO, I’m not throwing the pic of the fat guy eating the cheeseburger up here either!)

MR. BTR: Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that for you.

Aren’t these the most adorable things you ever saw? The kitties are talking like people! (Related Simpsons quote: “”Look at Branford II! Isn’t that cute? He thinks he’s one of the Models, Inc.!”. There’s a Simpsons’ quote for everything, except maybe a colostomy)

MR. BTR: I looked. He’s right. That’s more of a South Park thing.

So for Mr. B’s birthday, I’m going to give him a gift:  Presenting the BLOCATS:

MR. BTR: This is NOT my birthday. For the record, I share my birthday with a notroious 18th Century British barrister.

FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS:   UGLY KITTENS

5:

Hmmm…..you dye this bad boy green and he looks like the Hulk:

 (Alternate line: “You neuter me. I claw out your jugular vein

4:

This one is a shame, because he’s ALMOST cute. He’s like Frank Stallone – almost legit, but not quite:

Consider the caption for this one to be a reader submission contest. Mr B. will pick the winner.

 MR. BTR: Thanks for the extra work, pal.

3:

“I can never haz luv because I look like lemur”   The one on the right is just scary. Look at those eyes. Imagine if you awoke at 5 in the morning to see that sitting on your chest, staring at you. Two words: “thunderclap coronary”

MR. BTR: You could have posted the exact same comment under the Stallone picture.

2:

“I haz no front teef because cats can’t use toofpaste”

I actually kind of like this little guy, because he puts me in mind of my FAVORITE tag team EVER, Demolition:

Classic Axe and Smash! No Crush allowed.

MR. BTR: The one on the left went on be The Repo Man.

Sigh.

I’m not joking either. These two were the first thing I thought of when I saw that pic. I lead a sad life…

And the #1 picture for UGLY KITTEN IS……………

“When I grow up, I can haz be on To Catch a Predator?”

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. B!!!!

MR. BTR: You guys miss the Fat Guy this week? Don’t worry, I have your back. I present to you, the lolfatz!

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EFF U KFC

2 Jul

July 1, 2012

You ever see a commercial that just sets your teeth on edge because you HATE it so much?  This one currently airing from KFC is so mind-bogglingly stupid that when it comes on I find myself wishing for a baseball bat the size of Rhode Island so I can beat the hell out of this stupid planet……*deep breath*

Here’s the commercial I can’t stand:

First of all, I’m glad to see Larry Wilcox finally getting some work
 

That’s about the extent of what’s good about this idiocy. Well that and that there’s no Erik Estrada to be found here. Unless he’s in the Telemundo version of this commercial.

So we start off with grandpa and grandson fighting over….”Mashed Potatas” vs.  “MacENNcheese”.   It’s witty banter of a level not seen since the Lincoln-Douglas debates.  *SIGH* Remember the old days when family would fight over meaningful things such as Vietnam, or Yanks/Red Sox, or who used up most of a 12-pack of t-paper in just under a week?  Yeah, the good old days. Now we’re stuck with family feuds over fast food side dishes.  Somewhere the Hatfields and McCoys are spinning in their graves. Now THOSE guys knew about feudin’ and fussin!

Anyway, these two beta males get into a half-assed staredown. Gimme a break, these two losers couldn’t intimidate ANYONE. Posers. You know who does the world greatest staredown? This guy:

Now THIS is a real man. If he went to KFC with you, and he wanted that nasty broccoli thing they serve instead of Mac and Cheese, he’d get it. And you wouldn’t say a word about it. Larry David = ALPHA DOG. These other two guys can’t hang.

Anyway, these two putzs are at such an impasse that they decide the only way to settle it is to…….wrestle. Yes, Grandfather takes up fisticuffs on his beloved grandson over gloppy starches.   And they actually start to lock up like it’s a WWE match!  HOLY SH*T!!  Grandpa has some skills! It’s like he’s the reincarnation of Dennis Rodman from his ill-fated WCW stint:

With proper training he could be awarded the WWE Intercontinental title at a Rio De Janeiro tournament!   Anyway, grandpa goes to the wrestling so quickly, I get the feeling that future Sunday family dinners will feature Mr. Fuji accompanying him to the dining room.

Nothing says Thanksgiving like Mr. Fuji in your living room.

So the world’s 2nd lamest wrestling match ever begins (the #1 worst? Big Boss Man vs Al Snow in a “Kennel in a Cell” match) and in walks Mom and Dad with the grub! They’ll put a stop to things!

…………….or not. Evidentally, Mom really hates her life, because the scenario of her father and son brawling over foodstuffs seems to really amuse her. THE OLD MAN CAN BREAK A HIP! How amusing will that be?  This commercial is so gob-smackingly insulting to intelligence that my brain slapped me for watching.

Yeah, I watch too much TV. I really need to get out more.

On the other hand, it could be worse. It could’ve been THIS KFC commercial:

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO THIS GENTLEMAN, WHO DOUBTLESS WOULD OPT FOR BOTH THE MASHED AND MAC:

Mr. Blog here. In honor of Mr. Fuji, allow me to present this classic episode of Fuji Vice:

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