Tag Archives: eBay

The Return of I Found It on eBay!

23 Aug

August 23, 2012

I Found It on eBay was a fun feature for me to write. I wrote three posts about the strange and usually awful things people not only sold but often bought online. You can find the most recent post here, along with links to the older two.

It was fun, and I haven’t done it in a long time, so I decided it was time to dive into the deep end of the pool again, so here are some more true bargains you can bid on.

A soiled curtain for your child. Yes, of course, why wouldn’t someone buy it? It only has an unknown stain from a previous owner, I’m sure it is nothing that your child shouldn’t be exposed to. Unbelievably, it has FOUR bids. It was up to seven dollars. The shipping is seven-fifty, so this dirty piece of plastic is ours for only $14. C’mon people, buy a new curtain!

This isn’t the first horse with a broken leg I’ve found on eBay. Even better, if you go back to my old posts, you’ll find a unicorn with a broken horn, which in my book makes it a plain old horse. This particular ol’ Man ‘o War is selling for the less than princely sum of $4.99. Toss in the shipping and this can be yours for less than $15. Or, if you are like me, it will not ever be yours. Who would want this? Ok, so it comes with the leg and you can glue it back on. Is it worth it for a small horse statue? You have to buy a broken horse and glue it together to decorate your home? Have some respect for yourself, skip this auction.

Honestly, the first thing that struck me was the description. “Putz” reindeer. Why an I laughing? Google “putz” and see. Anyway, this is a wrecked paiper-mache ornament. It is far worse than the horse up above. At least that has only one broken leg. This thing looks like it came out of the wrong end of your dog. Maybe I am wrong and this is highly collectible. Maybe this is a valuable piece of papier-mache history. And maybe there is a lone nutcase out there who actually bid $5 for this disaster.

Ok what? These are just creepy. Who wants these pictures? They are just weird. Cute? Well, maybe to you but sure not to me. Adorable? I just don’t see it. At least the baby in the first picture is smiling. The second? Looks like a picture you’d see on the wall of a haunted hotel. If I knew who was buying these pictures I’d know who I was never going to strike up a conversation with.

All in all, eBay is an awesome place to shop. If you like limbless animals and kids with broken limbs, then this is the place for you.

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I Found it on eBay! For The Third Time!

25 Apr

April 25, 2011

I guess I spend too much time on eBay. Of course, spending time on eBay isn’t the problem, spending money is. My last two purchases were Dark Shadows volume 26 (the final one, so my marathon is nearing the finish line) and a small Gumby. However, there are many items that are far more useless than a small Gumby. I know that sounds impossible but here are some that I stumbled upon recently.

Yep, expired coupons, and there are a lot more than you’d expect for sale. Especially if you are like me and expected none.

The description went on to explain that many stores don’t look too closely at coupons and their scanners aren’t always up to date so maybe you can use these. I say that if you are going to commit coupon fraud just for a can of beans then they better be magic beans. Anyway, I’m not sure that intentionally using expired coupons is a crime and if it is, it isn’t in the same class as incest or menacing but it certainly stinks of lowlife. How much can a can of cat food cost? After you factor in the 99 cents you spent on the coupon are you really getting a good deal? This is for greater (cheaper) minds than me to ponder.

And speaking of good deals, I need to tell you that shipping is free with this one. As the description states, “it was my bad.” This is a stained shirt, already worn, that a pen exploded on and the lower half, which the picture does not show, is mostly covered in blue ink.

So strike one, it is a worn t-shirt, and strike two, it has a big stain. Who wants to buy this? Someone seems to since it has two bids. Someone actually bid a penny for this. This is no kind of bargain because when it arrives you are likely going to wonder “how drunk was I?” and then throw it away. And how desperate is the seller to get rid of it that he is going to sell it for a penny and lose money on the shipping? Just throw it out! It isn’t valuable, rare, or vintage. Reality check: it is a worn, stained shirt. Happy bidding!

OK, I’ll go there. It looks like vomit. Someone you don’t know made this at home and you are going to rub it all over your face? You get what you deserve.

And here’s one for the ladies.

It is a pair of men’s underwear turned into a woman’s top. Stop right there, that’s already enough for Fashion Week, but to add the witty phrase “you can see who wears the pants in this family”? Genius. And wrong. Because clearly the man wears the pants in the family if he can make you wear that monstrosity. Technically, you wear the underpants in the family. Think about it. If you bid on this you are saying that yes, you want to walk around wearing a pair of underwear for a top. There is a Jeff Foxworthy joke in here somewhere. Move along.

I love this one. I am a fan of vintage photos but I found this when I searched “missing head.” You never know what will turn up.

They had me at the description. “Fatty w/ camera missing his head vintage snapshot photo.” And the picture? A fat guy with a camera from the torso down. Look at it for awhile. We can only see one hand but I bet the other is holding an ice cream cone. I imagine him wearing some 1950’s/60’s touristy hat. In fact, I’m imagining Jackie Gleason from Don’t Drink the Water.

Want it? You can buy it on eBay for $7.92.

Need more eBay finds? Check out
I Found it on eBay!
I Found it (And More!) on eBay!

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