Tag Archives: Conrad Bain

Fun With Teh Internets: Quick Hits

28 Jan

January 28, 2013

keyes1.jpg

I’m contractually obligated to Mr. B for one page of stuff per week. This week, I couldn’t quite put all of the rage I feel into one coherent piece, so I’m taking the easy way out and going all stream of consciousness and stuff…..ok, I’m half-assing it really, but let’s all be honest here – my full-assed efforts probably aren’t much better!

This Commercial Annoys Me….

Let’s get this straight.  The flying waitresses are incredulous about…… a phone app. NOT a talking, intelligent pig. About an app that is actually so common, everyone has at least one.  Some commercials are so stupid as to insult the viewer. This is one such commercial. You can ask Mr. Blog, I often watch commercials so mind-numbingly stupid that I basically put a fatwah on everyone involved with it in any way.

 Speaking of Annoying….
Nobody ruins a baseball game like FOX.  ESPN is close, but FOX sets the bar lowest. And the main reason for that is loudmouth Tim McCarver. I’ve never listened to anyone as unknowledgeable about baseball as him, and that includes Joe Morgan and my 3 yr. old cousin. There’s a reason he was fired by BOTH the Mets and Yanks. I remember one inane thing he must’ve said about twenty times during the ’85 season – something he thought was the height of wit. “Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?” To which I always answered the television with “die.”  I plan on outliving this clown for spite.

mccarver

What I’m Watching….

They may not look like much, but these are REAL men. They gave up their lives and families and basically headed to Alaska to strike it rich mining for gold:

gold rush

Of course, these guys are also kind of screw-ups in a lot of ways. They don’t know what they’re doing so it’s always one problem or another with them. That said, it’s fascinating to watch the process, the machinery, and just to see how much effort goes into finding even one ounce of precious, precious gold. And “Dakota Fred” – a crusty old miner who doesn’t take any guff – makes this show. Highly recommended!

Most Hardcore Father Ever….

MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!

MR. BTR SAYS: Keyes better stop ripping off my Imponderable gimmick!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2258877/Chinese-father-hires-virtual-hitman-kill-son-online-games–job.html

It’s not quite what you think. Basically, poor Mr. Feng’s son was a layabout no-account lazy bum who wouldn’t tear himself away from his video games long enough to get a job. So he did what any loving father would do: hired better players to constantly find his son’s presence online and kill him straightaway on the premise that if he kept getting pwn3d like a noob, he’d quit and find a job and become productive member of the ruling party.  Of course, the plan didn’t work out, but it was a worthy try. I’d have just smashed the computer myself, but Dif’rent Strokes (RIP Conrad Bain) and such.

What I’m Reading….

Books? What are those?????

The Versatile Blogger Award Goes Slumming.

8 Apr

NEW April 8, 2011

It has been this blog’s great honor to receive The Versatile Blogger Award. It is possibly the greatest award in its history, a proud history, which dates back to my great-grandfather’s colonial pamphlet Zebediah Blog’s Persnickety Ride in 1786.

First of all, I would like to thank the one whose vision, foresight, and taste gave me this great honor, The Batty Broad of http://abattybroad.wordpress.com/

In her own words: “Ladies and Gentleman – I present to you the master of multi-tasking, the oracle of organizing, the empress of efficiency, the battiest of broads….THE BATTY BROAD!  (the crowd goes wild, applause, applause, applause).”

And now, in keeping with the tradition and history of The Versatile Blogger Award, I present

Seven Things About Mr. Blog.

1- “Mr. Blog” is actually the non de plume of six Laotian faith healers who make up the Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

2- Despite several restraining orders, Mr. Blog inches ever closer to his dream of meeting Conrad Bain.

3- No less a personage than Bruce Vilanch has gotten a chuckle from this blog. And that’s true: Click here, please.

4- This blog began in 2006 on MySpace. That explains why none of you have heard of it. By then everyone had moved to Facebook.

5- The only blogs to get hate mail were those about the TV show Scrappers. Seriously, those letters were both vehement and illiterate.

6- This blog has often been confused for an official American Chopper blog. Many comments are addressed specifically to some of the guys on that show. I have gotten exactly one pro-Paul Sr. comment.

7- This blog boasts both a drunk (Mr. Know-It-All) and the undead (the Tepid Zombie) among its contributors.

 

And now, I pass the torch to seven others who keep the values and honor the tradition of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

Jim, of the Relic Radio Network. Classic Old Time Radio, a fantastic message board community, and more.

JRD Skinner of Flash Pulp fame. Great fiction, and stuff you may have missed along the way but shouldn’t have.

Thomas Stazyk of TESazyk.com. The wonderful writing of a man who knows how things should be written, all based on and around things in his life.

Mac of BIOnighT. Consummate modern electronic music site.

Matt Cowan of Vintage Horror. Great essays and insights on the greats of classic and modern horror.

Super Mike Monge. Great art. He does it all.

Marc Barnhill and The Sorely Missed. As he aptly puts it, and he should know, “From the imaginary intersection of a Coney Island side street and a Carolina dirt road” comes touching and evocative music that is sure to touch you where you live.

OK, so technically they are not all bloggers. So what? They are great sites, check them out!

So in conclusion, I would like to accept this award on behalf of The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, and, in the immortal words of Sally Field, “Well, look at all these wiggy birds around here.”

Wait a minute, that’s from Gidget. That’s not what I meant to say at all. Wasn’t there some quote from The Academy Awards, something about a dyspeptic polar bear? Ah, what the Hell.

Sheesh, Giget. “A hot dog makes her lose control,” my ass it does. Oh wait, that’s The Pattty Duke Show.