Tag Archives: comics

The Saturday Comics: Little Orphan Annie

22 Jun

June 22, 2013

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Before you read this, you might want to go back and read this past Sunday’s Sneak Peek of the Week for June 16th, 1943:

On Monday, Lieutenant Allan Keyes will kick Mussolini while he’s down.
Be here on Tuesday when Kellogg’s Pep sponsors the Mr. Blog Review of the new East Side Kids film, Ghosts on the Loose, guest starring Mr. Bela Lugosi!
Wednesday’s blog will be preempted  by a special edition of Edward R. Murrow reporting live from a mess hall in Liverpool England.
Mr. Blog returns on Thursday with a new Picture Play featuring movie star Lana Turner. I hope jealous bandleader Artie Shaw doesn’t tune in!
Friday features the regular news commentary I Don’t Believe It. This week, installment 122 takes us to an automated bread bakery in Illinois. Can one machine do the work of as many as ten men?
Lastly, return on Saturday when the Saturday Comic Strip looks back at the time Little Orphan Annie blew up a Nazi submarine.

While the others were all just jokes, the Saturday Comics featuring Annie blowing up a Nazi sub was totally true.

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As we all know, Annie is the orphan girl who was too poor to afford eyeballs but was amazingly and only-in-fiction coincidentally adopted by the richest man in the world, Daddy Warbucks. Daddy Warbucks, made his fortune- and hold on to your hat! during the war. Yes, the creator of Annie, Harold Gray, had about as much imagination as your average tomato. (Green, not red.)

Yes, Annie is the always and eternally optimistic (and annoyingly so) The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow kid but during World War Two she was positively blood-thirsty.

From Wikipedia, for whom the sun will come out at 6:15 pm, according to one of their many inaccurate articles:

When the US entered World War II, Annie not only played her part by blowing up a Nazi submarine, but organized and led groups of children called the Junior Commandos in the collection of newspapers, scrap metal, and other recyclable materials for the war effort. Annie herself wore an armband emblazoned with “JC” and called herself “Colonel Annie”. In real life, the idea caught on, and schools and parents were encouraged to organize similar groups. Twenty thousand Junior Commandos were reportedly registered in Boston.

WHAT? The loveable ragamuffin with the curly red hair blew up a Nazi submarine???? No way was I going to believe wiki on this one, so I found corroboration on The Little Orphan Annie Home Page at http://www.stuartliss.com/loahp/loaww2.html

Her first mission is dramatic enough for any child on the home front longing for a real adventure.  She and her friend Panda find a hidden U-boat in a nearby cove, and manage to drag a floating mine to dash against the hull and blow it up.

This was in May of 1942. If anyone has that strip or a link, please send it to me!

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Back to wacky- I mean wiki:

In the post-war years, Annie took on The Bomb, communism, teenage rebellion and a host of other social and political concerns, often provoking the enmity of clergymen, union leaders and others. For example, Gray believed children should be allowed to work. “A little work never hurt any kid,” Gray affirmed, “One of the reasons we have so much juvenile delinquency is that kids are forced by law to loaf around on street corners and get into trouble.” His belief brought upon him the wrath of the labor movement, which staunchly supported the child labor laws.

A London newspaper columnist thought some of Gray’s sequences a threat to world peace, but a Detroit newspaper supported Gray on his ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ foreign policy. Gray was criticized for the gruesome violence in the strips, particularly a sequence in which Annie and Sandy were run over by a car. Gray responded to the criticism by giving Annie a year-long bout with amnesia that allowed her to trip through several adventures without Daddy. In 1956, a sequence about juvenile delinquency, drug addiction, switchblades, prostitutes, crooked cops, and the ties between teens and adult gangsters unleashed a firestorm of criticism from unions, the clergy and intellectuals with 30 newspapers cancelling the strip. The syndicate ordered Gray to drop the sequence and develop another adventure.

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This all came as a surprise to me. I always thought Annie was kind of  goody-goody and cloyingly sweet. If I knew that she took on gangsters and foreign spies, and racked up a body count like a Schwarzenegger hero- heck, she’s been jailed in North Korea! I might have been more inclined to read her strips.  However, here is current Little Orphan Annie strip:

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Sorry folks, Annie was cancelled in 2010.

The last strip was the culmination of a story arc where Annie was kidnapped from her hotel by a wanted war criminal from eastern Europe who checked in under a phony name with a fake passport. Although Warbucks enlists the help of the FBI and Interpol to find her, by the end of the final strip he has begun to resign himself to the very strong possibility that Annie most likely will not be found alive. Unfortunately for Warbucks, he is unaware that Annie is still alive and has made her way to Guatemala with her captor, known simply as the “Butcher of the Balkans”. Although Annie wants to be let go, he tells her that he neither will let her go or kill her—for fear of being captured and because he will not kill a child despite his many political killings—and tells her that she has a new life now with him. The final panel of the strip reads “And this is where we leave our Annie. For Now—”

The June 15th and 16th, 2013 (!) installments of Dick Tracy featured several Annie characters in extended cameos complete with dialogue, including Warbucks, the Asp and Punjab. During these notable appearances, Warbucks spoke on the phone with detective Tracy about a company Tracy thought might be tied to him. Warbucks’ last line in the Sunday strip implies that Annie is still missing and that Warbucks might even enlist Tracy’s help in finding her.

A classic comic strip cross-over! I love it!

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This storyline is going on right now. That strip above is only one week old! I’ve just subscribed to this strip, I can only hope they find Annie, now three years later, as some Amazonian warrior-queen wearing a necklace made of the teeth of her enemies.

The Allan Keyes Classic Comics Creview: Batman, A Death in the Family

10 Jun

June 1o, 2013

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I had occasion to re-read this last week (in other words, I was out of books and needed to grab something off the old pile to read in the bathroom) and a few things about this “classic” really smacked me that never were noticed back when I first read this as a kid.

As you all know, this is the book that is famous because they killed Robin. And there’s precious little else to recommend this outside of the snuff film factor.

THE BAD:

Load of Crap #1: The entire story! Moody, pre-menstrual Jason Todd (Robin) finds out that his mother was really his step mother, and sets off to find his true parent. Ok, fair enough. But we find out that his mother is one of three people:  An Israeli secret agent, Lady Shiva (one of the deadliest assassins in the DC Universe, a Batman-level fighter) or some broad running famine relief in Ethiopia. So let’s get this straight: We’re to believe that Jason Todd’s father, who was a minor skell working for Two Face, not only knew but bagged an Israeli secret agent, the worlds’ deadliest assassin (pre-Deathstroke) and some other broad whom the reader with a functional IQ of above 15 immediately pegged as the mother by page 3 . And we didn’t have the benefit of the Bat-Computer. WOW, being a two-bit henchman really helps you put up numbers if you know what I mean and I know that you do!

Mr. BTR ADDS: Amazingly, and this is true, all those women are listed under “S.” I’d love to see some of the other pages, like “P” with Diana Prince listed, “K” containing Selina Kyle, and I’d bet “L” featuring Lane, Lois and Lemaris, Lori.

Load of Crap #2: By an amazing ko-inky-dink, we find that all three women are in the same part of the world- the middle east!  How convenient for young annoying Jason, who goes running off on his own. And it turns out to be convenient for Batman too, because due to Load of Crap #3, the Joker escaping Arkham and running off to the mid-East to sell a nuke to terrorists, he amazingly runs smack into Robin, because the terrorists the Joker is selling his missile to are the SAME terrorists prospective mother #1 (the secret agent) is infiltrating. HOW ABOUT THAT! And those very same terrorists are being trained by prospective mother #2, lady Shiva. HOW ABOUT THAT! Gimme an effing break, eh effendi? The Middle East is millions of miles of land, and everyone on the planet is congregating in the same tiny dinky town in Lebanon.  Um……………..NO

Anyway, Load of Crap #4– Not only does the Joker know prospective mother #3, but she’s also as crooked as an IRS worker (hey, I can do topical also!) and has a shady past the Joker can exploit! So when Batman and Robin go to the family reunion, guess who’s waiting! Note to Jim Starlin: A CONTINUING SERIES OF COINCIDENCES IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A GOOD STORY. Anyhow, you know the rest – Robin’s mother pulls a patented NWO Swerve (Mr. B will explain) on her little boychik, and  the Joker clubs the little b*tch like a baby seal. Explosion cliffhanger, he finally dies THANK GOD, setting the stage for thousands of issues of bat-angst.

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Mr. BTR EXPLAINS: In the old WCW, there was a huge group of wrestlers called the NWO and they were insanely popular. However, they were also as predictable as a Mets loss. Seemingly every week, they would come out to the ring and talk about how they were pissed at one of their own teammates and were going to kick the crap out him during his match and help his opponent and invariably, not only would they not kick the crap out of him, they would join him in beating up his opponent. And EVERY WEEK the opponent thought this would be the week where the NWO would actually turn on one of their own guys. It NEVER happened yet FOR MONTHS people expected it. So Robin’s mother turning on Robin was something we could see coming two miles away.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the art:  IT SUCKS.  I mean look at this:

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The Joker’s face is drawn like an inverted isosceles triangle. It’s asinine. He’s clearly not a human.

THE GOOD!

Robin gets snuffed. LOVE IT! But this is also the Joker at his most out of control homicidal. At the time, in recent continuity he had just shot Barbara Gordon and crippled her, and this storyline was a great escalation of that. Besides racking up a body count and killing Robin, he has bigger plans:

1)      He sells a nuke to terrorists to pop off at Tel Aviv

2)      To replenish his funds, he steals Ethiopian famine relief and replaces it with cases of his laughing gas.  Hundreds of crates, each w/ enough lethal poison to spread over four acres. HE’S PLANNING THE GENOCIDE OF THE ENTIRE ETHIOPIAN PEOPLE!!! And he smirks and tells the aid worker to look on the bright side, there will be less mouths to feed. WOW. Note the tan makeup he’s wearing to blend in. Looks like a demented George Hamilton.

3)      He tries to murder the entire United Nations General Assembly.

Mr. BTR EXPOUNDS: (!)! Go back to Allan Keyes' previous point about the art. Now that he is a more normal color, you can see how ridiculous the Joker's anatomy is. What's up with that chin? Even Plastic Man is usually drawn more realistically.

Mr. BTR EXPOUNDS: (!)! Go back to Allan Keyes’ previous point about the art. Now that he is a more normal color, you can see how ridiculous the Joker’s anatomy is. What’s up with that chin? Even Plastic Man is usually drawn more realistically.

Though the story is weak, it does contain one of the greatest end issue splashes EVER.  A rage-filled Batman is goaded to meet the Joker for a final confrontation at the UN, and what does he see? Joker is the fricking Iranian Ambassador!!!!! And not only that, Superman is there to make sure Batman doesn’t get him, because diplomatic immunity. AWESOME cliffhanger.  It’s so over the top insane I can almost forgive Starlin for the rest of this story.

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Mr. BTR rants: Keyes should have also included the next page in which Batman cradles his fist like a ragdoll and whines “I think I broke a couple of knuckles” in the most uncharacteristic Bat-manner you’ve ever seen. Totally ruins the impact of this otherwise cool page.

What the heck, I did it for him. Is this Batman? Batman would not show any weakness in front of Superman even if a badger had gnawed off his wiener.

What the heck, I did it for him. Is this Batman? Batman would not show any weakness in front of Superman even if a badger had gnawed off his wiener.

Still an awesome cliffhanger.

Still an awesome cliffhanger.

On a bit of a social note, it’s kind of refreshing to read a comic that treats Middle East terrorists as……villainous scumbags.  You even have Batman referencing the Iranian Embassy takeover as a reason to ignore Iran’s international rights! You will very rarely see this kind of moral clarity in comics today, if we ever really have.  The industry is wussified (except for Garth Ennis) and you’ll see the likes of Captain America fighting the greatest threat to the world today: the Tea Party http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2010/02/captain-america-vs-tea-parties/20207/, or Superman indulging in nonviolence vs. these same Iranians:

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Effing stupid wusses who populate the industry today. They’re under the impression the S on his chest stands for “Sally” </rant > 

Finally…..to my knowledge, this is the only comics appearance of Ayatollah Khomeini (outside of his own Iranian-published title, Jihad-Joe. See what I did there?)

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I had forgotten they put him in. I reflexively spat on the page when I saw it.

Anyway, you know the rest of the story.

The verdict: A good bathroom read, but massively overhyped.