Tag Archives: comic books

Fun With Really Bad Photoshop: Superman

18 May

May 18, 2015

The two or three surviving regular readers of this blog (used to be six, sorry about the bird flu) know that I am terrible with Photoshop. I am so terrible that I put it in italics, and you know that’s bad. How bad is it? My Photoshop skills are so bad that I don’t even have Photoshop! That’s right, all the lousy Photoshop is actually lousy Paint.

Anyway, I was surfing the net looking for porn doing research for my Master’s thesis in advanced quantum theory when I came across a panel from a Silver Age issue of Superman. Back then, Superman had such powers as super-ventriloquism, super-kiss (lucky Lois!) and the ability to rip a cellophane version of his symbol off his chest and smother a super-villain, for a second or two, until it disappears leaving no ill-effects. Seriously, Superman II, what were you thinking?

Well, he also had a super-sneeze, one which was so powerful that he could destroy whole solar systems. Why they didn’t bring that back in the New 52 is beyond me.

Anyway, it just seemed to me that a super-sneeze is silly, but with a little Photoshop trickery (very little) I could make that same power, with just a little tweak, very funny.

silly funny

How about that? Seamless! You’d hardly know that I am the Photoshop user equivalent of a one-armed spider monkey.

But seriously, or at least as seriously as you can take a discussion of Superman farting, isn’t it logical that if Superman’s body could generate the pressure to release a super-sneeze, it could also release a super-fart?

DC really needs to explore this.

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The Saturday Comics: Monkeys in the Mail

2 Feb

February 2, 2015

cropped-sat-com-logo.jpg

Here’s a classic comic book ad I came across recently. Trust me, you’ll love it.

tiny dog ad

 

Of course, there is clearly a scam going on here. They are pretty desperate to get those snapshots, and not just for the “forty-nine cents and a few cents for our c.o.d. service plus postage.” And notice that the studio in the separate ad on the bottom of the page has virtually the same address as the main ad. So I can’t pin it down, but my Spidey-sense is definitely tingling.

Spidey-Monkey Sense

But this ad has maybe the best offer I ever saw. Better than Sea-Monkeys, better than x-ray specs, this is a real, live, miniature dog, the same kind Paris Hilton and the rest of the Hollywood airhead-types carry around in their purses. (BTW- think those dogs poop in there?) Or, and this is even better, A MONKEY! THROUGH THE MAIL! “Healthy and very intelligent.”

I said before this is a scam, and I can’t believe they’d send living critters in the mail “ENTIRELY AT MY EXPENSE,” and no, it isn’t clear who “MY” refers to.

But oh, to live in a world where young boys can get free monkeys in the mail! I can’t believe that every kid in America didn’t send in a coupon and break the world monkey market in the process.

 

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