Tag Archives: Big Ass Fans

American Chopper: Troubled Waters

19 Nov

November 19th, 2012

Tune in all through the hour as I post updates.

Didn’t know they were cancelled? Check out the news here.

Tonight
American Chopper (Season 9)
Troubled Waters
When hurricane Sandy hits, the PJD crew rushes off to rescue the 9/11 Memorial bike. Progress on the production bike stalls out when Sr. and Jr. disagree on a plan of action. Sr. and Vinnie finally face off about their past differences after five years.

We’re moving along to the next Build-Off, a two-parter airing december 10th and 11th. Tonight’s show promises to deliver the only thing I am still interested in, a face off between Vinnie and Senior. Will the show deliver? It rarely does.

The 9/11 Memorial Bike took a hit from Hurricane Sandy. According to Paul Jr, it was under 4 feet of water. Salt water. Corrosive salt water. Everything that could be rusted is rusted. The battery is corroded. It is a wreck. They are going to fix it up and bring it back to ground Zero. It is full of “seaweed and sewage” and needs to be broken down to almost the tiniest parts and refinished, and more.

Senior and his monkey decide to prank both Jesse James and Paulie. Then later they dress some dummies like the Fast N’ Furious guys and lynch them from the fans, then beat them up with hammers. Then Mike blow-torched one.  I’ll skip this very lame and obviously staged part of the show. Can they re-cancel this show right now and end it at 9:22?

Meanwhile, Senior and Junior are still not on the same page about their production bike. Paulie seems to be moving forward on his own, and Senior keeps trying to talk and get some details hammered out. And somehow, despite everything we’ve seen and heard, Paulie has no idea that they are going to form a company together. Huh?

“I guess I don’t know what I’m doing I have to give it some thought.” -Paul Jr.
“This is starting to affect our relationship.” -Senior.

Speaking of business, Paulie is trying to partner up with a t-shirt company to do a line based on their bikes. Sounds like the stuff OCC sells in  shop. But I guess Paulie is really trying to leverage the “D” in PJD. When the shirts came in later, even as jaded as I am, I have to admit that I would wear some of them. They were tha nice.

The  Big Ass Fans bike is done and it looks to me like an old school bike. No, strike that, it looks like an old bike, not the same thing. Squat, stocky, and dark, it did not impress me.

And you thought Jason was the big ass. Here is the real Big Ass of Big Ass fans.

At about 9:25 they unveil the Big Ass Bike, which is normally what closes the show, so that goes to show you how smoothly edited the show is. No segments make sense in context of what came last, it is edited with a blender. Shows are just whatever fits this week, and with only 2 regular shows left before the Build-Off, expect more jumbles to come.

At about 9:31 Senior asks Paulie about what part he wants to have in the company and Paulie says, more or less, “huh?” He wants to take baby steps.

“We have completely different ways of doing business.” -Paulie
“But there’s a standard way of doing business. Every company has contracts, and agreements, etc.” -Senior
“We’re disagreeing on the basics, like where we meet!” -Paulie
“That’s why we have contracts! To handle the basics!” -Senior

BTW, as usual, this commercial break was so  long I took a nap. From about 9:32 to 9:41 every week you can forget this show exists, since it doesn’t.

Back from commercial, finally, and Joe had a more productive meeting with Senior than Paulie ever did.
“There is something easier about the meetings back there if you know you can leave when you’re done.” -Paulie

9:48: Senior calls Vinnie and asks to have a face-to-face to work things out.
Here we go.
To commercial.
Like I say, the show is edited at random, but you can always expect the one thing you want to see stuck in the last five minutes.

Vinnie wants “more than just I’m sorry.” Senior claims he has no idea what Vinnie is angry about. Mafia-like, they meet on the side of a road.

Vinnie’s grudges:
Thousands of hours of unpaid overtime.
No respect.

Senior says:
Without me you’d be nothing.
You sued me when you quit. (Vinnie- “No I didn’t.”)
You quit without notice. (NOTE: Vinnie’s lawyer gave his notice. Senior then said he wanted it from Vinnie.)

Bottom line- Vinnie wants nothing from Senior, he is happy with where he is. He does not want to go to OCC.
“I really don’t care. If you don’t want to go that’s fine, if you do you’re welcome.” -Senior
“I guess I just shook Paul Senior’s hand for the last time.” -Vinnie.

American Chopper: Old Wounds

12 Nov

November 12, 2012

I’LL BE UPDATING THIS AS THE SHOW UNFOLDS. CHECK BACK FOR MORE UPDATES AS THE HOUR GOES ON.

YAWN, wake me when this one is over.

American Chopper (Season 9)
Old Wounds
Senior throws down the gauntlet for a build-off rematch. The stakes are raised when a new player is added to the mix. Back at OCC, tensions rise around the lift when Jr. and Sr. disagree on the production bike design process.

Trust me, Senior does not give a crap about another build-off, no matter what Jason said last week. You know who cares about another build-off? Discovery, who is using them to push other shows. Last build-off featured Jesse James, who then got his own Discovery show, and now he’s back, along with some guys I refuse to watch from Fast and Loud.

Is that really how they look? Because I look at those guys and I think, “no, I am not interested in being a part of your bizarre Satanic pornography.” Seriously, if Anton LeVay worked in porn he would be that guy. Over groomed, over accesorized-looking turd. Of course I never saw the show. The guy might not be such a tool as he looks.

Tonight’s show teases three storylines.
1- The incredibly phony build-off angle, which is so obviously set up by the network and full of lame trash talk,
2- Junior goes to a company to mass produce bicycle versions of some of his bikes,
3- Paulie and Senior butt heads on the co-build

I like Paulie’s idea. I am not sure that they will be coolest things on the market but I think it is a good idea. It seems like Paulie is licensing the designs to Dynacraft and they will do all the work, which again is a good idea. They will be versions of the Black Widow, Anti-Venom, and Build-off bikes.

OCC went to the Wall of Death, a sort of giant barrel in which you ride fast go-carts or cycles around the inside, like you’d see at the circus. The guys had fun but for me watching at home it was a good time to go get a drink.

The show expects to believe that with the opening of the OCC Cafe, the co-build with his son, the Big Ass Fan bike he is working on, and everything else he is into, he wants to do another build-off. So Senior called the executive producer of his show, who just by coincidence had a camera crew ready in his office. I repeat, he just happened to have a camera crew in his office to record the call. Who are they kidding? This all came from Discovery and they told Senior that there will be another build-off, this time with the Fast N’ Loud guys. One thing was real- Senior built a garbage entry last time, and they reran the footage of him getting booed.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE- at 9:23 Senior said “we were asked to do another build-off.” So as we knew, it was not his idea at all. So why did the show spend the last 20 minutes trying to sell that it was Senior’s idea? If Discovery wants to do a build-off then fine, but why lie to the viewers?

The one real storyline, as far as I can tell, continued tonight with Vinnie turning down Paulie’s request to go to OCC with him. You could see the pain in his voice. Paulie told Vinnie how the call went last week: “Jason was like nails on a chalkboard.” Yup.

The Biker Build-off will be December 11th. The bike has to be one that can run in the street and, presumably, has to be a bike. There was a four-way conference call. Like last time Senior was arrogant and Jesse James came across like a jerk. Why does this show need more phony drama? At least this time around Paulie decides to involve a charity, the Breast Cancer Foundation.

And at 9:30 the cross-promotion started with the Fast N’ Loud guys.
“The Biker-Build-off sucks. It is all bedazzled junk.” – Fast, or was it Loud?
“It is all off the shelf.” -Loud
“Paul Jr Paul Sr? Not worried about them at all. Jesse? Out of touch with reality, old and worn out.” -Fast
“If we show up with a motorcycle we’ll probably win.” -Loud

If you think this recap jumps around from point C to point F to point A, that is just reflective of the show, in which segments are edited in no particular order. for example, there was a segment (advertisement) in which the OCC crew marveled at the big fan that Big Ass installed in their shop. The at 9:30 there was a 3 minute segment where the Fast N’ Loud guys showed off, then commercial. Paulie segments run into Senior segments run into totally unrelated Senior segments. The editing of this show is dine simply at random.

They show comes back from commercial break for a ONE MINUTE segment where PJD sends some cake decorating kits to Jesse James. Then another set of commercials. So from 9:30 to 9:41 there have been 4 minutes of show and 7 minutes of commercials. No respect for the viewers here, none at all. And they do the same thing on Deadliest Catch, a far better show, too.

At 9:41 Senior called “The Fast and The Furious guys” to introduce himself. “None of us watch your show so none of us know your names.” Just like me.
“We just got the stupidest call ever from Paul Senior.” -Fast. And was correct because Jason just started yelling “Tell him to shut his mouth” in the background. Again, Jason is an idiot. Anyway, the guy with the long beard (Loud) bet his beard against Senior’s walrus beard, loser has to shave.
“I think the call went well.” – clueless Senior.

I do not want to sit through another month of this annoyance.

At 9:55 we got the very funny Senior vs. Cody duel. Paulie felt uncomfortable to be at OCC but Cody, with his ten minutes of experience debated Senior on bike building.

“We need to sit down with Jason and put something together.” -Senior
“What’s Jason going to do?” -Paulie. “There are some serious second thoughts going on in my mind.”

If anyone is interested, Senior is on Jesse James’ show up next. More Discovery cross-promotion.

NEXT WEEK
PJD deals with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy

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