Tag Archives: aliens

Today in Future History: January 13, 3658

13 Jan

January 13, 2013

On this day in the year 3658, invading galactic hordes will scour the Earth looking for your descendants. Upon finding them, they will totally eradicate every single member of your bloodline, and leave the Earth a devastated world.

There is nothing you can do now to stop this, but had you not cut off that guy in traffic last week, all this could have been avoided.

You know, thinking back, maybe we should have warned you in advance.

Sorry.

 

Mars Attacks card 11

Space Jammed

17 Jul

July 17, 2013

Former New York Knicks player Baron Davis was abducted by aliens a few weeks ago. I’ll let him tell it in his own words.

“I was, um, on my way from Vegas here to L.A., I’m a little tired and s— and I see this light and I think it’s a big-a– truck. Then next thing you know, dude, like, I was in this f—— steel thing.”

It didn’t end there. In many abduction stories, there is a period of blackout and often the victim’s next memory would be heading home some hours later. Not so Davis. He recalls meeting “these f—— crazy-looking people” who were “half-human, half, like, f—–, ugly motherf——.”

In fact, Baron has some clear recollections of that evening. “Dude, they were poking me on my nose and s—. They were poking me on my nose and they were, like, looking me in my eyes. They had my hands like, tied up and the next thing you know, I was f—— in Montebello, dude, burning rubber on the way back to L.A. It was like four o’clock in the morning.”

Davis later recanted the story, claiming it was all a joke.

(http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/baron-davis-abducted-aliens-article-1.1397660)

Judging from his outfit, I tend to believe it.

baron13n-2-web