My Review of Pete Rose: Hits and Mrs.

22 Jan

January 22, 2013

Of the unlikely reality stars, and there are a great many, Pete Rose is probably the least likely. And perhaps also the least likeable. Pete Rose has been out of the spotlight for years. He is best known for being banned for life from baseball and the Baseball Hall of Fame. A degenerate gambler, not only did he bet on sports as a player and as a manager, and not only did he bet on baseball, but he even bet on his own team, violating all kinds of MLB rules. Although he claims he only bet on his team to win and not lose, I and many others do not believe him for a second.

On the one hand, it is a shame he bet on baseball because he was a sure-thing Hall-of-Famer.

Career stats:
BA: 303                 Hits: 4,256           RBI: 1,314

Partial Career highlights and awards:
3 time World Series champion
NL MVP
World Series MVP
3 time National League Batting Champion
17 time All-Star
2 time Gold Glove Award
MLB Record 4,256 career hits

But on the other hand he has never been considered a nice guy by, well, anyone, and he lied for years and years about gambling on baseball when the evidence was so overwhelming that it became almost Lance Armstrongian in arrogance. So I am not too upset that he is out of baseball.

Plus as a Met fan I can’t forget the brawl he started with Bud Harrelson in the 73 NLCS.

So why does this man rate a reality show? Because he has a new, much younger attractive Asian wife and is raising her two kids. That’s it.

I had no idea this show existed and found, by accident, the second episode, which I watched with growing amazement. Pete is generally motionless, spending most of the episode sitting down or standing in one place. He is not easy to look at, resembling the bad guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.             death_by_face_melting
On the other hand, the network gets a lot of shots of his much younger wife, former Playboy model Kiana Kim.

Pete Rose wife

Granted, this was a few years ago, but I still have no idea how a lump like Pete Rose caught her.

In the episode I saw, Pete’s stepson Ashton joined the first day of Pete Rose’s youth baseball camp. He didn’t want to, preferring to stay home and play video games, but he’s Pete Rose’s son and how would it look if he didn’t play baseball? (In reality, Pete Rose’s biological son, Pete Rose Junior, was a career minor leaguer with a lifetime batting average of .143.)

So he went and Pete started off by giving the team a pep talk. Not only do I assume this has been edited, but I am hoping that it has been edited because this is the worst pep talk I have ever heard.

This begs an interesting question. Did they edit this to make it worse? It is horrible, and makes Pete sound like a total jerk. If this was edited to improve his speech, how much worse could it have been? I want to see that raw footage!

Later in that episode his stepdaughter, who is only 13 or 14, had a pool party. Pete spent the afternoon slouched in a deck chair bellowing questions to the young boys in the pool, like “what are your intentions toward my daughter?” and “you have a job yet?”

Honestly, that’s where I bailed out. I could not make it the rest of the way through the show. 20 minutes of this was enough. In fact, there has only been one thing in Pete’s whole life that has interested me, and it is almost as inexplicable as this awful reality show.

The best part comes at 1:18.

Now THIS Guy Is Cool!

21 Jan

keyes1.jpg

You ask most Americans what they think of when you say the word “cool”? A fair majority would probably say this guy:                     

Mr. Blog says: There were better pictures Allan Keyes could have used, but none as funny. Why the heck is The Fonz making love to his thumb?

Mr. Blog says: There were better pictures Allan Keyes could have used, but none as funny. Why the heck is The Fonz making love to his thumb?

Yeah, the middle aged, unthreatening greaseball from Happy Days.  As if eating ravioli out of a can alone in a garage at Christmas could ever be cool.

Other answers abound of course, ranging from James Dean to 57’ Chevys to tattoos to Dr. J, etc.

ALL OF THOSE ANSWERS WOULD BE WRONG.

You know who is cool? THIS GUY: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255533/The-amazing-story-Mad-Jack-hero-took-Nazis-bow-arrow-later-professional-bagpipe-player.html

 

He was nicknamed Mad Jack by his men during the Second World War.

After coming face to face with Lieutenant Colonel John Churchill, the Germans probably had a similar, if less affectionate, moniker for the eccentric officer.

Rather than wield a sub-machine gun in battle, the commando leader inspired his comrades by storming beaches armed with a bow and arrow and two-handed sword, dressed in a kilt and playing a set of bagpipes
 
 

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They had me at “Mad Jack”.  Lets get this straight right now: THIS IS A MAN WHO STORMED NAZI BEACHES WITH A BOW AND ARROW, WHILE IN SCOTTISH REGALIA.

This is a real life Braveheart/Rambo hybrid. WHY HAVEN’T I EVER HEARD OF THIS MAN SO I COULD’VE WORSHIPPED HIS STATUE?

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He enhanced his reputation by capturing 42 German prisoners with only his broadsword and later escaping from one of the most daunting Nazi jails before the end of the war.

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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For most men, this would be their valedictory, the stuff of their legend. For John Churchill, CAPTURING 42 GERMANS WITH ONLY A SWORD was merely a “reputation enhancer” And the escaping from prison? That’s a freaking afterthought, as if it was a matter of course for him. Which it most probably was.

How the eff do you capture 42 guys with a sword? Even if they were members of the Pussywillows instead of the Panzers, that’s a daunting task. Folks, the alpha-maleness is so strong in this one, even just through this article, I’m popping a small beta-male submission boner.

You know what this guy reminds me of? This scene from Star Wars:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raF9wfPxir8

Except Mad Jack here was fighting REAL stormtroopers, and unlike Han Solo, he sealed the deal.  What was it about WW2 that unleashed some of the most bad-assed men ever seen? This guy and my other favorite, Simo Häyhä who sniped out over 500 (!!!!) Russians during the war.

Killing Nazis with a bow and arrow…………………….AWESOME!