Tag Archives: Wrestlemania

My Review of Pete Rose: Hits and Mrs.

22 Jan

January 22, 2013

Of the unlikely reality stars, and there are a great many, Pete Rose is probably the least likely. And perhaps also the least likeable. Pete Rose has been out of the spotlight for years. He is best known for being banned for life from baseball and the Baseball Hall of Fame. A degenerate gambler, not only did he bet on sports as a player and as a manager, and not only did he bet on baseball, but he even bet on his own team, violating all kinds of MLB rules. Although he claims he only bet on his team to win and not lose, I and many others do not believe him for a second.

On the one hand, it is a shame he bet on baseball because he was a sure-thing Hall-of-Famer.

Career stats:
BA: 303                 Hits: 4,256           RBI: 1,314

Partial Career highlights and awards:
3 time World Series champion
NL MVP
World Series MVP
3 time National League Batting Champion
17 time All-Star
2 time Gold Glove Award
MLB Record 4,256 career hits

But on the other hand he has never been considered a nice guy by, well, anyone, and he lied for years and years about gambling on baseball when the evidence was so overwhelming that it became almost Lance Armstrongian in arrogance. So I am not too upset that he is out of baseball.

Plus as a Met fan I can’t forget the brawl he started with Bud Harrelson in the 73 NLCS.

So why does this man rate a reality show? Because he has a new, much younger attractive Asian wife and is raising her two kids. That’s it.

I had no idea this show existed and found, by accident, the second episode, which I watched with growing amazement. Pete is generally motionless, spending most of the episode sitting down or standing in one place. He is not easy to look at, resembling the bad guys at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.             death_by_face_melting
On the other hand, the network gets a lot of shots of his much younger wife, former Playboy model Kiana Kim.

Pete Rose wife

Granted, this was a few years ago, but I still have no idea how a lump like Pete Rose caught her.

In the episode I saw, Pete’s stepson Ashton joined the first day of Pete Rose’s youth baseball camp. He didn’t want to, preferring to stay home and play video games, but he’s Pete Rose’s son and how would it look if he didn’t play baseball? (In reality, Pete Rose’s biological son, Pete Rose Junior, was a career minor leaguer with a lifetime batting average of .143.)

So he went and Pete started off by giving the team a pep talk. Not only do I assume this has been edited, but I am hoping that it has been edited because this is the worst pep talk I have ever heard.

This begs an interesting question. Did they edit this to make it worse? It is horrible, and makes Pete sound like a total jerk. If this was edited to improve his speech, how much worse could it have been? I want to see that raw footage!

Later in that episode his stepdaughter, who is only 13 or 14, had a pool party. Pete spent the afternoon slouched in a deck chair bellowing questions to the young boys in the pool, like “what are your intentions toward my daughter?” and “you have a job yet?”

Honestly, that’s where I bailed out. I could not make it the rest of the way through the show. 20 minutes of this was enough. In fact, there has only been one thing in Pete’s whole life that has interested me, and it is almost as inexplicable as this awful reality show.

The best part comes at 1:18.

1985 A.D., What’s in Your Time Capsule?

17 Mar

March 17, 2010

BREAKING NEWS!

From the New York Post.
(Their motto: “One Part Lindsay Lohan, One Part Lady Gaga, One Part Actual News.”)

Authorities in Somerton, Ariz., are mystified by a disappearance that dates back a quarter-century, but was only just discovered. The town opened a time capsule from 1985, and found letters, pictures and lots of other artifacts. What was missing was a bottle of Mexican brandy. A town official swears he watched as the box and everything in it — including the booze — was buried in concrete 25 years ago

They opened a time capsule from the far-off era of 1985? Is it really a time capsule if the same guys who buried it are still alive dig it up? Dogs have buried bones in backyards longer than that. And what did they want to find? It isn’t like the contents are a surprise- they still remember putting the stuff in! I guess they were really eager to get their vintage “Frankie Say Relax” t-shirts back and ready for the summer. They may be back in fashion.

The dictionary defines an artifact as “An object produced or shaped by human craft, especially a tool, weapon, or ornament of archaeological or historical interest.”

Here are the artifacts they discovered from the bygone-time of 1985.

  • Autographed picture of Andrew Ridgeley
  • Inaugural Wrestlemania Program featuring Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka
  • VHS copy of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo
  • six-pack of New Coke
  • TV Guide featuring Mr. Belvedere

As for the bottle of Mexican brandy, I guess we may never know what really happened to it, but after reading that story I just wish it were here right now so I could take a good stiff drink.

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