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Imponderable #105: Across the USA

16 Aug

August 16, 2013

ugly medium

I’m not going to mince words- if you spend $520, or even $5.20, you are an idiot. Write me letters, I don’t care. This “medium” is an utter, utter fraud. How do I know? I am educated on this sort of thing. It isn’t hard, look into it yourself. Phony fraud mediums have used the same tactics for centuries. Add in the lies of “reality” television and you have PT Barnum’s dream come true.

Why would anyone pay money to see this?
The question is Imponderable, but the answer is obvious- dumb.

Wait! I’m having a PSYCHIC FLASH! Many of you are angry at me now. See? I’m psychic too.

Writer’s Block #2

14 Aug

August 14

I have writer’s block.

What? The pair of reruns this week didn’t give you a clue? Sheesh, take a brain cell out of petty cash, ok?

Anyway, I have writer’s block, and if you doubted it before that lousy brain cell zinger should be all the proof you need. So I went back to the list of odd writing prompts I found online and picked one at random.

Are we alone? (Tufts, 2009)

And for that Tufts charges about a bazillion dollars admission. Anyway, here we go.

Are We Alone?

Are we alone? How should I know? I have no idea who you are or where you are or what you’re doing or even if you are doing it without pants. If you have a secret to tell me and you don’t want anyone around to know it, just back off. I’m not interested.

I hate that question. “Are we alone?” It conjures up images of creepy uncles I won’t talk to any more, strange old men with lotion on their palms, restraining orders, and other memories I work hard to suppress every single day of my life, thank you very much. “Are we alone?” I sure as hell hope we are not.