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Imponderable: Tokyo Japan

4 May

May 4, 2012

In keeping with this week’s Japan theme here is a Classic Imponderable from Tokyo.

July 7, 2011

Japan strikes again

I’ve covered the cyberhug before. And while not everyone agrees with me, I still say Japan is nuts. If there is a wacky computer product or bizarre sex video the odds are it comes from Japan. Whether it is a game based on urinating, an elderly porn star, or an electronic French kiss, it is clear that the Japanese have some issues to work through.

I don’t see the attraction of tongue kissing my computer. Of course I also get out of my house and interact with real people from time to time so I may not be in the target audience for this thing.

I also worry about the possibility of electrocution.

The researchers are working to replicate an individual’s taste, breathing, and tongue moisture, but since they want to create “celebrity” kissing apps, will they have to replicate each star’s specific bad breath and body odor? Could we one day have the ability to experience Robert De Niro’s tobacco breath in our mouth? Lindsey Lohan’s stink after a drunken binge? And popular and funny she may be, but would you want to tongue-kiss Betty White? Through a computer or not, there’s a limit.

And this being Japan, the potential for fetish is endless. I won’t get into it but in Japan you can buy used panties from a vending machine. ‘Nuff said.

I can only wonder about who comes up with this, but I wonder more about the volunteer who tests this.

Who is the person who is waiting for the day they can stick a straw in his mouth, kiss his computer, and pretend it is Ed Asner?

The question is Imponderable.

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Dispatches From The Front: Japan, Part 2

2 May

May 2, 2012

This is the next set of selections from Allan Keyes, my brother, who is on a ten-day tour of Japan. Like last week’s installment, I’ve edited out all references to opium smuggling and multiple geisha madness.

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Dispatch #4

Busy day today:

1- Took bullet train to Nagano

2- Saw the Zenkoji Temple

3- Had traditional Sukiyaki lunch (we stir fry the meat on the hot rock and dip it in broth. Yummy)

4- MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ZOMG ELEVENTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5- Chestnut Ice Cream (with a corn flake base) delicious

6- Sour fish paste = BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Dispatch #5

SUBJECT: Tastes like it sounds

-Saw Matsumoto Castle today.  AWESOME

-Ate soba noodle lunch. DELICIOUS

-Saw a museum with old drawings. MEH

-Saw a wasabi farm. NICE! Made our own pickled wasabi.  FUN BUT IT CAME OUT FAIL. Ate Wasabi Ice Cream. Suprisingly good.

-We have traditional robes in our room, we’re wearing them to dinner. Hilarity ensues, I’m sure. Later on I’m going to the Osan, which is the hot springs baby.

In the meantime, if you open the pic you understand the subject of this email.

Mets suck!

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Dispatch #6

I ate sushi and went in the public hot spring bath.  It was great.

You know what I said when I walked into the hot springs? “Me big American man”

[Editor’s note: The public hot spring baths are nude only]

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Dispatch #7

I’ve been eating like a pic and LOVING it 🙂  In fact, as I write this I’m watching Hanshin Tigers vs Hiroshima Carp while eating a bag of “cut chip style potato product”

As nuts as the cities are here – and they are nuts – this country is massively beautiful. Remember the film “American Beauty” where the kid is saying how there’s so much beauty in things like a plastic bag swirling in the wind? He’s a jackass who’s full of shit. If he ever saw some of these gardens he’d take one look at that plastic bag and want to smack whoever littered.

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The Editor’s and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid ride would to thank Mr. Allan Keyes for the generous permission to use his emails in this blog, which I am sure he will give as soon as he gets home and reads this.

Beginning tomorrow and continuing next week, a special edition series of Picture Postcard will spotlight some of his best Japan pictures, ten each week.

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