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Allan Keyes Presents: Idiocy Both Accidental and Purposeful.

13 May

May 13, 2013

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As the pre-eminent internets recapper in my apartment, I’d be remiss if I didn’t make a post on the latest THING. The FAIL newsreader, AJ Clemente:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (In fact, that was my first draft of this post, just the word HA repeated 800 times)

It’s brilliant, especially at the 14 second mark where he realizes that he’s not only on the air, but will be off the air shortly.  There’s very little I can comment on this except to note that while he is a dummy and a dullard – did you hear the awful monotone he read the news in? It’s like having Droopy Dawg anchoring – he’s also a pretty cool guy about it all. His twitter post after the debacle said it all “That couldn’t have gone any worse.”  I mean good for him. He’ll need that good sense of humor while the world laughs at him, at least until Lindsay Lohan’s next meltdown.

So let’s move on from an accident to an absolute EPIC FAIL creative decision by Mountain Dew, in what has been quite accurately described as the most racist commercial ever:

(Please click as this will not embed.) http://pjmedia.com/eddriscoll/2013/05/02/banned-mountain-dew-ad/

Here’s a network news story about it:

I’m sorry, but even the hardest-core Klansman would see how wrong this is.  Battered women! Corrupt cops! Stereotype thugs! A talking…..goat? Erm – ok whatever. This one is a veritable carnival of awfulness that would even make Don Rickles speechless. On the other hand, I’m inclined to forgive them, since a soda as truly awful as Goat Piss Mountain Dew and the people who drink it deserve a truly awful commercial. If you drink Mountain Dew I’m NOT apologizing – some things just need to be said.  And it’s not like racist commercials haven’t made it through the cracks before – remember this one that we wrote about:

And McDonalds still hasn’t  recovered from THIS disaster of an ad campaign:

(see what I did there?)

But here’s the thing – a genuine dope like AJ Clemente gets fired, fired oh sooooo fired, all for the crime of making a mistake. What are the chances that the brain trust (yeah that phrase is hack, sue me) behind that commercial who willingly and knowingly signed off on that steaming pile of fecalus at MULTIPLE points get no repercussions whatsoever? Your career can end 5 seconds after it starts for something petty and spontaneous and stupid, but a truly massive eff up, nothing. Great times we live in.  If North Dakota can’t take a few unintended curses, too effing bad. It’s the same thing as everyone yelling about David “Big Papi” Ortiz saying “fuck” in front of kids last week. YOU KNOW WHAT OUR WALL TO WALL NEWS WAS A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO?  A DEAD 8-YR OLD AND PEOPLE WHO HAD THEIR LEGS BLOWN OFF BY A COUPLE OF CRETINS, THAT’S WHAT. I THINK THE KIDS AND THE GOOD PEOPLE OF BISMARK CAN HANDLE A CUSS OR TWO.

The idiocy is strong in this nation – except for Mr. BTR of course.

The Saturday Comic: Milt Caniff’s Male Call

11 May

May 11, 2013

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Milt Caniff is legendary for Terry and The Pirates. During World War Two, to honor the soldiers, he did a second, separate Terry and The Pirates strip featuring more women in less clothes. Well, the syndicators of the strip had a problem with that (wonder why?) and so Milt created Male Call, exclusively for the armed forces.

From Wikipedia, which is a disgrace to edia’s everywhere:

To contribute to the war effort, Caniff decided to draw a weekly comic strip and make it available at no cost to military camp newspapers. The Camp Newspaper Service was launched to syndicate Caniff’s weekly page and contributions from other civilians. For CNS, Caniff created a unique version of his Terry and the Pirates, completely different in content from his regular daily and Sunday strips for the Chicago Tribune Syndicate. It premiered October 11, 1942. Minus Terry, the CNS version focused on beautiful adventuress Burma, and she was seen in single-page situations rather than a continuity storyline. After three months, however, The Miami Herald objected to this competing use of the character and complained to the Tribune Syndicate. The military spin-off version of Terry and the Pirates came to an end on January 10, 1943.

To launch Male Call two weeks later, Caniff introduced a new character, Miss Lace, a sexy, sophisticated, dark-haired woman who mixed with the GIs at an American base somewhere in China. Comics historian Don Markstein described the Male Call characters:

Miss Lace, who replaced Burma, was designed as the opposite of the earlier character — black-haired as opposed to Burma’s blonde; innocent as opposed to Burma’s world-wisdom; and always soft and sweet, as opposed to Burma’s sometimes flinty exterior… The only character to carry over from Burma’s run was eager young PFC J. Snafroid McGoolty, a very minor player, but also the only recurring named character besides Lace herself… Her adventures tended to be a bit on the risqué side — never to the point of totally unambiguous sexual romps, but enough to draw an occasional complaint from a blue-nose type. These rare complaints were ignored, however, as the vast bulk of reader response was thoroughly enthusiastic. Along with George Baker’s Sad Sack, Bill Mauldin’s Willie & Joe and Dr. Seuss’ Private Snafu, Lace was among the most celebrated of World War II’s military-related cartoon characters. In fact, she may have been the first comic strip character to appear on television — during July, 1945, New York City’s WNBT interviewed Caniff, during the course of which model Dorothy Partington appeared in the role of Lace.

The strip was a gag-a-week series aimed at boosting the morale of servicemen and was oriented towards mild humor and pin-up art. Given its reading demographic, the content was somewhat racier than was permitted in mainstream civilian publications. Nevertheless, the strip still had to pass muster with military censors.

The Camp Newspaper Service distributed the strip to more than 3000 military base newspapers, the largest number of individual papers in which any single comic strip has appeared. Male Call did not appear in any civilian newspapers.

Enjoy!

Click to enlarge.