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Corey Feldman’s Party Blog!

23 Sep

September 23. 2013

At the risk of being sued by Corey Feldman, Mr. Blog Presents:

keyes

So this happened:

“I went to Corey Feldman’s Birthday Party”

http://www.vice.com/read/i-went-to-corey-feldmans-birthday-party

Just take a minute to process it all…..

There’re several hi-larious angles to this story including:

– The author of this has the snort-inducing name of “Jamie Lee Curtis Taete” as opposed to the real Jamie Lee Curtis who is busy these days looking rather mannish and selling poop-inducing yogurt on TV.

– Corey Feldman, whom was given final approval of the content of the article, has been angrily running around saying he was misquoted. As I said, hi-larious. Now on to the pathetic parts!

You probably know Corey Feldman from classic movies like Lost Boys, Stand By Me, and the Goonies. But for the last year or so, he’s been working on a new project, a “360-degree interactive experience” called Corey’s Angels. Corey’s Angels are, essentially, Corey’s version of the Playboy Playmates: a gang of handpicked babes who constantly surround him. Only instead of chilling at the Playboy Mansion, they gather with Corey in his house (which he’s dubbed “The Feldmansion”).

 The “Feldmansion”???  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!  So we have an “eccentric” former child star and budding recluse setting himself up as a thrift-store version of a modern-day Hugh Hefner, whom himself has become a sad parody of what he used to be. Ok then. I’m sure it will work out swimmingly.  At least Hef gets the beauties flocking around him because they want to appear in his magazines, TV shows, and something amazingly known as “Playboy Radio” which is the most mind-numbingly stupid idea imaginable for obvious reasons. Anyway, I digress. I’m SURE that the Feld-man gets the best hotties around to be his “angels” (angel being a euphemism for “ho”)

HEF’S PLAYMATES:

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Nice Jacket Hef – is that a Roselli??

COREY’S ANGELS:

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That’s right girl…..PLEASE keep that blue jacket on.

Wow….them’s some fugly “angels”  I’d rather spend time with one of those Angels of Death who run around the hospitals putting the terminal cases out of their misery.

But hey, what the party lacked in local talent surely made up for it with HOT ACTION:

Corey’s house was just as sick as you’d expect it to be. It was like the kind of bachelor pad you own in your dreams—if your dreams weren’t totally lame. Dude has a pool table and a Street Fighter 2 machine right in his fucking living room.

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People are generally only this bored at one of MY parties, and I can’t even offer booze, a pool or a Street Fighter 2 video game. Veggie burgers and Zima are what’s on my menu and all the ColecoVision you can stomach.  I mean geeze….this is Corey Fricking Feldman, one of the most happening guys on the planet…..if you can’t have fun with him, you can’t have fun PERIOD!

Um…

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Errr…

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Yeah, that last one kinda says it all, doesn’t it? Feldman looks like one of those creepy street magicians who pesters you for a donation and that chick can’t suck in the weed fast enough to dull her sense of shame and world-weariness, the exact same feeling I have trying to write about this.

I kind of think Feldman has a David Lee Roth thing going on myself…

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More pictures at the link. The fun part is that even though Corey HIMSELF approved the final text, he’s complaining about how bad it made him look:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/corey-feldman-threw-himself-a-250perguy-birthday-p,102029/  (and god bless the A/V club for their epic win of a title)

“It’s called defamation of character and slander n I’m pretty sure those things r still illegal n this country,” Feldman tweeted

In an even MORE monumental moment of self-unawareness, Feldman  went so far as portray himself as a victim:

“Bullying is present in schools, homes, professional environments and online and here is a case no different from just that,” Feldman stated. “I can take criticism, but what people are saying online as of late is far beyond that”

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/09/04/critics-slam-corey-feldman-for-likening-criticism-his-lingerie-birthday-party/

Poor, poor Corey. I mean, what’s the world coming to when a pathetic has-been can’t throw himself a birthday party featuring mediocre day-stripper level (at best) paid entertainment in his underwhelming mansion without being criticized? I mean geeze, what a rotten country we’ve become.

 

BONUS! BONUS! MEME LAUNCHER! MEME LAUNCHER!  I THINK WE MAY HAVE A NEW MEME ON TAP!

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The Saturday Seen That: Monsters for Mac

21 Sep

September 21, 2013

Last week I showed a pair of Universal Monsters model kits I picked up for a song at Toys R Us. In the comments section we had a nice discussion of the monsters, statues, and the like. So for Mac, this week I am posting some  Universal Monsters statues I have had since at least the early 90’s, probably earlier.

These were all sold unpainted. They are made of lightweight, glow-in-the-dark resin. None of them weigh more than a few ounces but they are all sturdy and have with one tiny exception, held up very well.

What did not hold up were my paint jobs. These statues are badly in need of touch ups. I don’t claim to be an expert painter, but these were really nice when I first painted them.

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The Mummy
I was pretty proud of this one because I found ways of blending paints on his bandages to make them seem dirty not jus ton the outside, but the inside as well. I’m not as happy with how his face turned out, but overall I think the bandages make the mummy.

The Wolfman
A pretty good paint job. I was never good with detail but I managed to mix in some black highlights in his brown fur. Again, not technically brilliant, but my previous painting experience was painting planes or tanks solid matte colors.

Phantom of the Opera
For some reason Dracula was not included in this set. I always assumed this was his replacement since they had similar looks. This is the only statue that’s broken, but it unnoticeable unless you’ve seen the unbroken version. The hand holding the cape (which is obscured by the Wolfman’s hand) also held a small mask. But if you never knew that it looks fine.

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Frankenstein
This is your standard Frankie paint job, though I did do a little bit with some details, like laces on his boots.

Creature from the Black Lagoon
This is my favorite. It is hard to see in the picture, but every single scale is painted green and highlighted at the tip with slightly darker green, giving it really nice texture. I also did a few black highlights to make it seem more natural. Of the set, this will be the hardest to touch up, if I decide to do so.

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In the front is the Remco (correct me if it was another company) Creature action figure. This set had the same selection as the statues and each also came in a glow-in-the-dark version. I had all the regular figures and except for this one, they all fell apart from normal use. They literally fell into pieces. the bodies broke open, the limbs fell off, the heads fell off the neck. For some reason this figure remains sturdy. I’d love to have this set again.

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Not Universal monsters but they came up in the comments. I did nothing to these- they came fully assembled and painted. But as an old-school Superman fan I couldn’t be happier.

 

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