Tag Archives: Corey Feldman

Chiller Theatre October 2013 Highlights.

30 Oct

October 30, 2013

I was, once again, at the Chiller Theatre convention in lovely New Jersey. And it is true, some things never change. Like the last two times I went, it was a blast. tons of stars, former stars, never were stars, and loads of chicks showing off their maimed zombified boobs. (It appeals to a particular kind of fetishist, which I am not.)

So what else never changes? Hmm. Was Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, former pro-wrestler with a face that looks like the underside of a leather couch, drunk again? Hard to tell. The previous two times he was quite visibly hammered. This year he was eating a salad. But the expression on his face? Exactly the same. This man looks drunk just eating a salad.

Hulk Hogan Fan Appreciation Day at Toyota Park - July 10, 2009

So where do you stand on Omarosa? Personally, I’d like to stand on her neck. Can’t stand her. But is she a celebrity? I passed her twice in the crowded halls as she was going from room to room. Now, this year was the most crowded I ever saw the Con, and both times I passed her it was in some of the narrower hallways. Despite actually rubbing, literally, shoulders with her (or due to the height difference, shoulder to upper arm) she left no impression on me. In fact, I saw Howard Finkel (WWE’s The Fink) in the men’s room shaking hands (yes, he washed them) and signing autographs yet no one seemed to recognize or care about Omarosa. And despite all her protestations on The Celebrity Apprentice about how classy she is, she dressed down in a see-through mesh top and a skimpy tank top. Not an attractive look for her but let’s be fair, there is no attractive look for her.

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I also got a look at some genuine props from Jaws. I have a pic of me in front of the barrels they shot into the shark. Take a look at the beach closed sign. Check out the bottom left corner to see who officially reopened the beach.

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I saw Zacherle for the third con in a row, still looking good at his age of near-one hundred, and got Chuck McCann’s autograph at the next table. For all the amazing work he’s done over the years, I am most impressed that he was also the voice of The Thing in the 90’s on the Fantastic Four cartoon and he signed (and the other three stars did as well) a character sheet of the FF. and as a bonus, he bellowed “It’s clobberin’ time!”

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Gilbert Gottfreid was there, first convention ever for him. He was charging $25 for a picture and had no takers. Kent McCord, a personal favorite, signed an autograph and talked with me about Adam-12. The picture was free.

Scott Wilson (Hershel) from The Walking Dead was totally swamped, as were Ralph Macchio and  Corey Feldman, believe it or not.

Larry Storch was there, Corporal Agarn from F Troop and yes, he was wearing the hat.

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There were plenty of costumes, mostly zombies, and not a single Batman.

I also scored the very last (literally, THE LAST) of the limited edition glasses Chiller sells. This year had Bela Lugosi from White Zombie on it. (Last convention- Lon Chaney from London After Midnight. Before that- Vampira.)

Sara Karloff was there, looking more like her father every year. Hacksaw Jim Duggan was there, and I pity the people working at the table next to him, since every two minutes or so his trademark “HOOOOO-OOOOO!” came bellowing out his mouth. Also there was Ace Frehley from KISS, and he was swamped.

I scored some movie posters and some great photos and autographs, plus an Perry Mason pocket book from the 1950’s. I had a blast and I leave you with a serious word of advice. BUY YOUR TICKETS ONLINE IN ADVANCE. People were waiting outside to buy tickets for SIX HOURS. True. That is not an exaggeration. My brother and I were harassed to sell our wristbands to a couple of guys after we left, and while we could have soaked the guys, they offered $10 bucks apiece but we passed.

Next year we hold out for $50.

Corey Feldman’s Party Blog!

23 Sep

September 23. 2013

At the risk of being sued by Corey Feldman, Mr. Blog Presents:

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So this happened:

“I went to Corey Feldman’s Birthday Party”

http://www.vice.com/read/i-went-to-corey-feldmans-birthday-party

Just take a minute to process it all…..

There’re several hi-larious angles to this story including:

– The author of this has the snort-inducing name of “Jamie Lee Curtis Taete” as opposed to the real Jamie Lee Curtis who is busy these days looking rather mannish and selling poop-inducing yogurt on TV.

– Corey Feldman, whom was given final approval of the content of the article, has been angrily running around saying he was misquoted. As I said, hi-larious. Now on to the pathetic parts!

You probably know Corey Feldman from classic movies like Lost Boys, Stand By Me, and the Goonies. But for the last year or so, he’s been working on a new project, a “360-degree interactive experience” called Corey’s Angels. Corey’s Angels are, essentially, Corey’s version of the Playboy Playmates: a gang of handpicked babes who constantly surround him. Only instead of chilling at the Playboy Mansion, they gather with Corey in his house (which he’s dubbed “The Feldmansion”).

 The “Feldmansion”???  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!  So we have an “eccentric” former child star and budding recluse setting himself up as a thrift-store version of a modern-day Hugh Hefner, whom himself has become a sad parody of what he used to be. Ok then. I’m sure it will work out swimmingly.  At least Hef gets the beauties flocking around him because they want to appear in his magazines, TV shows, and something amazingly known as “Playboy Radio” which is the most mind-numbingly stupid idea imaginable for obvious reasons. Anyway, I digress. I’m SURE that the Feld-man gets the best hotties around to be his “angels” (angel being a euphemism for “ho”)

HEF’S PLAYMATES:

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Nice Jacket Hef – is that a Roselli??

COREY’S ANGELS:

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That’s right girl…..PLEASE keep that blue jacket on.

Wow….them’s some fugly “angels”  I’d rather spend time with one of those Angels of Death who run around the hospitals putting the terminal cases out of their misery.

But hey, what the party lacked in local talent surely made up for it with HOT ACTION:

Corey’s house was just as sick as you’d expect it to be. It was like the kind of bachelor pad you own in your dreams—if your dreams weren’t totally lame. Dude has a pool table and a Street Fighter 2 machine right in his fucking living room.

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People are generally only this bored at one of MY parties, and I can’t even offer booze, a pool or a Street Fighter 2 video game. Veggie burgers and Zima are what’s on my menu and all the ColecoVision you can stomach.  I mean geeze….this is Corey Fricking Feldman, one of the most happening guys on the planet…..if you can’t have fun with him, you can’t have fun PERIOD!

Um…

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Errr…

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Yeah, that last one kinda says it all, doesn’t it? Feldman looks like one of those creepy street magicians who pesters you for a donation and that chick can’t suck in the weed fast enough to dull her sense of shame and world-weariness, the exact same feeling I have trying to write about this.

I kind of think Feldman has a David Lee Roth thing going on myself…

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More pictures at the link. The fun part is that even though Corey HIMSELF approved the final text, he’s complaining about how bad it made him look:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/corey-feldman-threw-himself-a-250perguy-birthday-p,102029/  (and god bless the A/V club for their epic win of a title)

“It’s called defamation of character and slander n I’m pretty sure those things r still illegal n this country,” Feldman tweeted

In an even MORE monumental moment of self-unawareness, Feldman  went so far as portray himself as a victim:

“Bullying is present in schools, homes, professional environments and online and here is a case no different from just that,” Feldman stated. “I can take criticism, but what people are saying online as of late is far beyond that”

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/09/04/critics-slam-corey-feldman-for-likening-criticism-his-lingerie-birthday-party/

Poor, poor Corey. I mean, what’s the world coming to when a pathetic has-been can’t throw himself a birthday party featuring mediocre day-stripper level (at best) paid entertainment in his underwhelming mansion without being criticized? I mean geeze, what a rotten country we’ve become.

 

BONUS! BONUS! MEME LAUNCHER! MEME LAUNCHER!  I THINK WE MAY HAVE A NEW MEME ON TAP!

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