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Secret Origin of a Super Hero

29 Aug

August 31, 2011

Do you think Batman just woke up one day and decided to be Batman? No, it took years of training in various martial arts, years of acquiring the mental and deductive skills of master detectives, years of gaining the technology and physical prowess to perform at the peak of human ability. And also the horrible murder of his parents.

However, Bruce Wayne wasn’t the only one to wear the cape and cowl. At various times he was replaced by Jean-Paul Valley, by Dick Grayson (twice), and even Alfred.

Chief O'Hara is skeptical that this arthritic old man could defeat the Bookworm.

And then there is Mark Wayne Williams (no relation to Bruce Wayne, I suspect.)

This paunchy potential protector of the public was found hanging- yes, hanging- off the wall of a Detroit business. He had apparently hooked his Batrope on the roof and was, well, details are sketchy on what he was doing there. Perhaps he was on patrol. And although there is no indication, I like to think that he was hanging upside-down like a bat.

I feel very sorry for the police who had to hoist him back up to the roof because he was really weighed down, and I’m not just talking about his gut. According to other reports, he was carrying a virtual arsenal in his utility belt, which had better have been reinforced.


Something tells me that “Batman” is in for a long stay at Arkham Asylum.

Mark Wayne Williams seems to really live the superhero lifestyle. Unfortunately, his not-so-secret identity is known to the police. Here he is posing at the police station for, he probably believes, his public commendation from Commissioner Gordon.


Given that Mark Wayne Williams is no Bruce Wayne, and that Detroit is certainly no Gotham City, I have to figure that every city gets the crime fighter it deserves. However, I have to wonder about his dedication to the Bat.


The Crow? Sheesh, just let me know when he starts dressing like Wonder Woman and runs down the street with his arms spread wide pretending to be in his invisible jet.

SECRET ORIGIN OF A SUPER-VILLAIN UPDATE!

Remember Johnathan T. Pinney, AKA Doctor Mayhem, the convict who wanted his own island, access to the world’s technology, and a secret volcanic lair? It seems that he is now looking for love. He wants that special woman with whom to share dominion over the planet. Or any other planet.

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And Don’t Forget to Breathe: The Nanny State in Action

24 Aug

August 24, 2011

I think the writer hit it on the head, but I’m not as upset with the money as he is. I can’t believe this cost much money, but on the other hand this is the government so it probably cost more than my apartment building’s entire combined yearly income for the decade.

My issue is that I simply can’t believe that government feels the need to micromanage our lives so much, and thinks so little of us, that it feels that it has to tell us when to come in out of the rain, so to speak. As much of a nanny as NYC Mayor Bloomberg is, I have to believe that even he would find this silly.

Even worse, it is totally redundant. In order to use this, you have to know what the humidity is. Unlike the temperature, humidity isn’t something that is easily known. Hygrometers and psychrometers are nearly as common as thermometers so to use the app you need to look for the humidity in a weather report, which will also give the heat index. So if you go to get the information to use the app, you also get the information to make the app unnecessary.

The app also gives information on what to do, but that info isn’t even on the front page. You have to waste more time standing in the heat to load that page. And what information does it give? Drink water and take breaks. What government employee needs to be reminded to take a break? Most of them need to be reminded to do some work once in a while.

Again, it is just another example of how the gov’t thinks it needs to micromanage everyone’s life and treat them like babies. I’m not upset about the cost of the app, I’m offended that anyone thinks I am stupid enough to need it.

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