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The Saturday Comics: Marmaduke (So Good It HAD To Be Reposted)

5 Oct

October 5, 2013

I love this post. Now you might be thinking that as a writer I’d love everything I write, and I do (egotist that I am), even the bad ones. But this is different. I LOVE this particular post. And I have been saving it for a special occasion. What can be more special than Allan Keyes wedding? He’s getting married tomorrow, so in honor of my brother’s wedding, here is my gift to him, my favorite Saturday Comics post.

Hey, it’s cheaper than a toaster.

sat com logo

From January 21, 2012

Marmaduke needs no introduction. No, scratch that, Marmaduke doesn’t deserve one. Marmaduke ranks high in the pantheon of the Great Unfunny Comic Strips. Top of that list? The Family Circus. But while Family Circus can at least claim to be a look at the human condition through the eyes of children, Marmaduke is simply an unfunny strip about a gangly dog.

Let’s take a look at some Marmaduke “comics” and see if we can find a shred of humor in them.

Ha! HA HA HA! Because dogs eat garbage! HA HA HA!

Here’s that wacky mother again! She’s running, get it? Because dogs bark when they are hungry! HA HA HA HA HA!

Now the kids are bringing the funny! They hung a bone around Marmaduke’s neck and called it bling! Yeah! Those white kids are so ghetto! Oh yeah!

Oh, that’s cute and funny! Marmaduke sees a woman carrying little dog and he wants to be carried too BUT HE’S TOO BIG! HAHAHAHAHA!

OK, now THAT’S funny! Marmaduke is screwing the guy on the sidewalk while the perverted little kid looks on- see the nasty grin on his face? He knows the score!

See? That’s all it takes for Marmaduke to be funny: hardcore bestiality and corruption of a minor. Now if only there were more panels like this. Then maybe Marmaduke would be pulled from the paper.

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The Evolution of DC Comics

2 Oct

October 2, 2013

I used to be a huge comics fan. And like any fanboy, I was hooked on DC and Marvel. But that was back in the day, long before Marvel became the home of paranoia and dark inks. How anyone can read a Marvel comic today is beyond me. (To be fair, I do think that putting Doc Ock’s brain in Peter Parker’s body is brilliant.) Today I stick to the classics- subtly simple, like Carl Barks’ Ducks. Sequential image mastery, like Segar’s Popeye. But deep down, I’ve always been a DC guy, and more specifically, a Superman fan. Give me a big, barrel chested Wayne Boring Superman anytime.

But we’re not quite going back that far today, just to 1982.

DC_Comics_Style_Guide

This was DC’s 1982 style guide, featuring their biggest stars and their color guide. A whooping 50 colors! This is Alex Ross’ worst nightmare- only 50 colors.

So let’s take a look at some of the characters. Superman has died and returned, Green Lantern died and returned, Supergirl died and stayed dead, one of the Robins died, Batgirl got crippled, and Hawkman and Hawkgirl got retconned over and over and over.

And now today.

Scribblenauts-Unmasked-by-the-numbers-1

Check out those stats. 1050 heroes. 22 of them Superman!

While I may not be the biggest DC fan anymore, I am glad to see the medium is doing well. It may not be thriving, but it is still growing and evolving. Way to go!

 

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