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American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Cadillac Build-Off Part 2

6 Jun

June 6, 2011

For those of you who missed part one, here is a quick recap:

Cadillac approached both OCC and PJD with the idea of building a bike for charity. It is being billed as a build-off because one of them will be chosen as the better bike. PJD seems to have the edge because they have a pair of brand new Cadillacs in the shop and are using them as a template and for parts. OCC has a fairly average Jason Pohl design. Senior spent the entire episode telling blatant lies about Paulie and outright insulting him, and then decided that he should meet him in person and make up. And oh yeah, get those shares of OCC Paulie owns. Response to last week’s show is pretty consistent. Emailer’s agree that Paulie has the better bike and that Senior is a jerk.

This episode, like so many before them, just served to show what a jerk he is. He went on and on about how “paranoid” Paulie is, to the point  that he became obsessed with it. He actually believed that Paulie hired spies to take pictures of OCC’s bike. So to prove… I don’t know what he wanted to prove, he and his partner-in-stupid Jason Pohl dressed up in cammo gear, covered themselves in leaves, and crawled commando-style through a vacant lot to Paulie’s fence and hung a sign to tease him.

Paulie never even mentioned it.

More and more, the main draw of this show is Senior’s idiocy. It stopped being about the bikes long ago, and it isn’t even about the lawsuit anymore since it only rated about three minutes of screen time. Here’s the update: They are close to a deal.

However, it wouldn’t be fair of me to not mention something nice. Some kids from the Duchenne’s charity visited. Duchenne is a type of muscular dystrophy and the bikes will be auctioned off to help that charity. Some of the kids visited OCC where they designed a bike with Sr. and Jason Pohl. The kids left with copies of the blueprints they designed. Those guys are jerks, but that was a nice moment.

The kids also visited PJD where they painted with Mikey. Mikey had the line of the night. A parent said to him “you’re an artist too?” Mikey replied “I call myself that.” Nice! No one else does.

The centerpiece of the show was not the disappointing unveil but a competition in which OCC and PJD each raced Cadillacs and compared times.

Senior: “I think we smoked it.”

In fact, Senior had the slowest time and Paulie, everyone else from PJD, and the rest of OCC all beat his time. And he’s the big car collector and “risk taker,” which he must have said about half a dozen times. The fastest time was from an OCC guy we never saw before, named Storm. I think they brought in a ringer. The winning team? PJD, and Senior was visibly upset.

At the unveil, Senior and Junior were together for the first time with each other’s bikes. Paulie’s was far better. They drove out simultaneously and stopped, facing each other. Paulie pulled a power mover. After a pause, he lowered his bike to the ground, no kickstand. The crowd roared. Senior had a surprise too. His had a hidden gas tank and what everyone thought was the tank actually hid a nitrous bottle.

Neither said much, though they did fist bump, and you could see that each crew liked and admired some parts or features of the other’s bike. PJD’s bike was mostly favored by Caddy designers, particularly one who said “I’m the rear engineer.” That’s an interesting title. There was also plenty of love for the OCC bike too.

Which bike was better? I say it was Paulie’s. It was low and long and had great sleek lines. The rear looked like a Caddy rear. Senior’s was nice, not great.

As Dandydan wrote here in response to last week’s blog, all the OCC technology (which Senior bragged about again) just makes their bikes less impressive. And Rick Petko said on the show this week “There’s tons of chrome and paint, more than we’ve had in a long time.” How long? Since Paulie left?

But you all want to know who won. I have to tell you…

… no one won. It was a bullshit ending. They gave a website so the fans could vote on the bikes. No winner was declared.

To see the bikes and bid or vote, go to www.discovery.com/auction I hope that link works for you because as of this writing the site is overloaded.

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The Saturday Comics: The Shadow

4 Jun

June 4, 2011

Who Knows What Evil Lurks In the Hearts Of Men?

The Shadow Knows!

I refer, of course, to perhaps the most famous show OTR ever produced.

So who was The Shadow?

“Years ago in the Orient, The Shadow learned a strange and mysterious secret, the ability to cloud men’s minds so they cannot see him”

Or “using advanced techniques that may one day be available to law-enforcement, The Shadow fights crime as invisible as the wind, as inevitable as a guilty conscience.”

In his everyday identity, The Shadow is “Lamont Cranston, wealthy young man about town.”

Or an amateur criminologist. Or sometimes he was the best friend of the police commissioner.

Usually he was just some rich guy who stumbled into plot to rob a bank, or spent the night in a haunted mansion, or ran into his double, who just happened to be newly released from prison and planned to frame Cranston for war crimes or something. The show ran for almost three decades so the quality depends on when the episode was made. It could be a supernatural show with ghosts one season, a show where Cranston foils attempts at art forgery the next season.

But it doesn’t matter. An invisible man is the perfect character on radio- everyone is invisible. It’s radio, everyone is a disembodied voice. No special effects were needed. All they did was give his voice some echo and poof! He’s The Shadow.

BAD GUY 1: We got Cranston locked up in the vault. No one can get in or out, see?
BAD GUY 2: Hey! The vault is empty! What happened?
SHADOW: Ha ha ha, Cranston is gone, I am the Shadow!
BAD GUY 1: How did you get in? And what happened to Cranston? He was here just one second ago.
 SHADOW: Heh heh heh!

Once you suspend a ton of disbelief, this is a really good show. (Please discount the story where the guy thought he was a gorilla simply because he was hairy, thank you very much.)

On the radio, The Shadow was played by a whole lot of actors, but the first one was the best, Orson Welles. He only stayed for one season but his is the voice everyone remembers.

The Shadow was so popular they made a series of movies about the character. For some reason they never turned him invisible. He was just a silly looking guy in a hat that was too big for him and long black cape that he almost tripped over. Why he didn’t turn invisible is anybody’s guess. Roll film, stop film, actor walks off set, start film, hey! He turned invisible!

The Shadow on film was played, I swear I am not making this up, by a guy named Rod LaRoque. A better porn name is difficult to find. “Rod LaRock.” I suppose Long Cockman comes close. And while we are on the subject of dirty-sounding names, the radio Margot Lane, The Shadow’s assisstant, was first played by Agnes Moorehead.

The movie Shadow is a very different character than the radio Shadow, and for a good reason. Like the comic books and strips, the movie Shadow is based on the pulp fiction version of the character. While an invisible man is perfect for radio, it is kind of boring to watch. In print, The Shadow was a man in a dark cloak and hat. He carried a pair of guns and often used them. There was no invisibility for him, this Shadow had to rely on a perfect skill of disguise. And this Shadow wasn’t even Lamont Cranston, he just pretended to be. Confused?

There was a Lamont Cranston in the pulps and the Shadow did claim to be him but he wasn’t. It was a disguise. The real Cranston was a wealthy playboy. He was usually travelling around the world or away at some glamorous resort. His high-class connections were just what the shadow needed to open doors so while Cranston was away, The Shadow would assume his identity.

The real identity of the Shadow, and you didn’t hear it from me, was Kent Allard, a World War One Aviator.

In addition to the pulps there were many comic book versions of The Shadow, and one of the best was put out by DC in the 1970’s, written by the legendary Denny O’Neil and often illustrated by the equally legendary Michael William Kaluta. And since this was a DC comic, he even met Batman. In fact, Batman claimed it was The Shadow who influenced him to fight crime.

But this is a Saturday Comics installment so let’s tear ourselves away from the comics (which I have a complete set of, including those Batman issues) and look at the rarely seen newspaper strip.

These are pretty hard to find. The strip began in 1940 and ended just two years later when World War Two broke out and the strip’s creators were drafted. Examples are hard to find online but luckily I have my own collection.

Some years ago in the 80’s the strips were collected in comic book form. the paper they were printed on was cheap even by comic book standards and my issues are all very, very yellow, much worse than other comics from the same era. The pages were even printed crooked!

I can’t vouch that the strips are formatted the same way they were as originally printed. Compare the dimensions to the strip above and you’ll see why I have doubts. I am also afraid some panels, like the title panel in the strip above, have been removed totally. At any rate, the odds are you have not seen these strips so sit back and check out an OTR legend and comic strip rarity, The Shadow!

As a bonus, I’m including what may be the most famous single broadcast of OTR, the infamous War of the Worlds broadcast starring Orson Welles and The Mercury Theater.

Special and extreme thanks to Jim of Relic Radio for providing the War of the Worlds. Check out his site for tons of great- and free! radio shows.

More special and extreme thanks to Peter Church of the wonderful Radio’s Revenge podcast for finding the music that opened this page, The Shadow theme.

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