Archive | December, 2014

“Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year” by Tiny Tim (I’m not making this up)

24 Dec

December 24, 2014

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I’m sorry to break news like this to all the world’s kiddies on Christmas Eve. You’re all snug in your beds, waiting for Old Saint Nick to leave presents under your trees, but I have to let you know, Santa may not make it to your house this year.

From December 25, 2010

Don’t hate me. This was suggested by oft-time commenter, the full-time Allan Keyes.

Don’t know who Tiny Tim was? This isn’t the “God bless us, everyone” kid. This is the banjo-playing freak show who was popular in the 1960’s and 70’s. Popular for what you ask? I don’t know. He was one of those people whom someone one day called a celebrity and no one argued. I’d compare him to Paris Hilton but I don’t like to speak ill of the dead.

So, with apologies, here is “Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year.”

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Fun With Teh Internets: CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

23 Dec

December 23, 22014

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Allan Keyes brings us the next Christmas Classic. What goes together better than Santa, kids, and hysterical crying?

From December 17, 2012

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He sees you when you’re sleeping…..he’s kinda creepy actually.

Bringing your children to see Santa Claus is a time-honored tradition. The kids wait with breathless anticipation for the chance to rattle off all the toys they want Santy to bring them : A pony, a football, a Red Ryder BB Gun, a dollie, some Dockers, an Ipad, a crossbow, Knicks season tickets, a subscription to  The Economist, and the complete Sanford and Son on Blu-Ray (these are some interesting kids!)

What can be more American than that? How heartwarming, how heartstring-tugging. How cute! So of course, since I’m a dirtbag, we’re going in the total opposite direction. BAZINGA!

Fun With Teh Internets:  CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

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Mom, forgive me but I HAVE to comment here. This poor child is not only being scarred for life, but he looks an awful lot like Don Knotts:

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She’s crying because this is a pathetic attempt at being a Santa. HINT: Just because you may have a beard already doesn’t excuse you from wearing a REAL FAKE beard. And put on the red suit also will ya? God, put a little effort into it man

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Looks like SOMEONE is getting a visit from the ghost of Christmas future! (PS- A Christmas Carol absolutely sucks, unless it’s the Mr. Magoo version, or Captain Picard is starring in it)

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