Tag Archives: Wrestling

An Allan Keyes Profile in Courage: GEORGE BRETT

8 Jul

July 8, 2013

keyes

brett

In honor of the MLB All-Star Game coming up later this month, I’d like to profile my favorite MLB player ever.

Why is he my favorite? Is it for the prolific HRs? For his championship caliber play? For the way he went berzerk  after his infamous pine tar at-bat?

 

No, the reason I love Brett so much…..is this!

From Deadspin.com: Not sure which spring training this video is from, but the video was just released to an unsuspecting public on Thursday, and is destined to go down as a classic; watch now as Royals Hall of Famer George Brett regales a teammate about the many times he’s shit his pants. Seriously; Brett goes into great detail about this, and even at one point follows the poor guy across the field so that he can finish his story. At one point Brett says proudly: “I’m good twice a year for that. When’s the last time you shit your pants?” America needs to know just how close it came to this being the subject of Brett’s Hall of Fame induction speech. He is really into it.

Brett is a REAL man. “Double tapered” hahahahahahahaha

As a bonus, here’s some of my favorite baseball meltdowns:

Earl Weaver vs the Ump:

Lee Elia vs Cubs fans:

Earl Weaver vs Orioles Fans:

EXTRA BONUS BONUS NON-BASEBALL BONUS!!

Paul Anka vs his band:

EVEN MORE EXTRA BONUS BONUS (BONUS!) NON-BASEBALL BONUS!

I’ve recreated the greatest wrestling promo ever. No footage exists, but this is Rick Rude addressing the ECW crowd. I saw this live and it was amazing.

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Who Was That Masked Politician? / Japan Is At It Again

28 Mar

March 28, 2013

news roundup week!

I spend a lot of time on this blog ranting about Japan. In fact, if you type “Japan” in that search box up on the right, you’ll find that I spend a full 87% of my blog time yelling about how screwed up Japan is. This is the land of urinal video games, geriatric porn stars, virtual kissing machines, robotic buttocks, and weird-looking full-face hair net things. To be fair, this week, the phenomenon I am reporting is also found in Mexico. But to be fair to me, this story didn’t come from Mexico, it came from Japan.

japan1

Where the Hell should I begin?

Right here!



“Councillor Skull Reaper, you have the floor.”
“Thank you. I would like to propose a bill to stop those jabronies who litter our streets with trash. I propose to put each and every one of those litterbugs in my Skull Reaper Headlock from which no opponent has escaped.”
“Um, Councillor Skull Reaper, do you really think that-”
“Whatchoo gonna do when Skull Reaper A-ji goes wild on you? Grr!” (Rips off shirt, climbs on top of desk, flexes.)

C-mon, seriously? Look, we here in the USA have also voted wrestlers into office (Jesse Ventura), but our loony wrestlers take their masks off. They don’t parade around Congress in feathered boas, although if they did then may be I would watch C-SPAN.

“If I take my mask off, I am an entirely different person.”
Riiiiiight… call the guys with the white suits and padded cells right now.

Not for the wrestler, but for the voters who put him in office.

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