Tag Archives: week eight

The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Nine

15 Apr

April 15, 2012

For those of you keeping score at home, afterLou’s firing last week these are the remaining eight contestants: Teresa, Paul, Clay, Aubrey, and Arsenio on one side, and Lisa, Dayana, and Penn on the other.

Here are my thoughts on each one’s chances of winning.

Teresa: She has not distinguished herself but despite being called out in the boardroom fairly often has not really done badly. Probably not a contender.

Paul: Everyone loves him and he gets done whatever is asked of him. Unbelievably, other than when he was project manager the first week, he has been quiet and low-key. I think if he steps up and wins another task he has a great shot at winning.

Clay: Not afraid to speak his mind and stand up for himself and his team, I think Clay is the frontrunner right now.

Aubrey: No.

Arsenio: A contender too but like Paul he needs to step up a little more and really make himself stand out.

Lisa: If you listen to her she has done every single task by herself. So logically she is also to blame since her teams have lost the majority of their tasks. Plus she is nasty and confrontational and not the type of person Trump picks. I won’t say she has no chance only because so many of her team members support her.

Dayana: She is just there, neither good nor bad. It is not all her fault because she isn’t usually given much to do. So far, unless things change, little to no chance of winning.

Penn: What a huge disappointment he has been. HUGE. I expected him to win it all and now I am wondering what he is doing here. He missed the majority of two tasks and added little to any of them. He admitted to checking out mentally and after the debacle of the Blue Man Group tossing money to the wind I can see no reason for him to stick around any longer. Sorry Penn, but you have shown no leadership or creativity.

And now on with the show.

The show began with Lisa attacking Clay, and Aubrey talking about how much she hates Clay. Where did that come from? He has been nothing but a pro. Oh, wait, he called her out in the boardroom. Aubrey is so obvious. This show was taped long ago. I wonder how Aubrey feels sitting at home watching her performance? Probably loves it, that idiot. “I usually impress myself so I am not worried.” Sheesh.

THE TASK: A live puppet show for adults with an original puppet character.
PROJECT MANAGERS: Lisa and Paul

But first, time to even the teams and guess what? Clay moved over to Lisa’s team. I would not have even the teams. One perk of winning is that you get an advantage over the other team in terms of personnel. If you are going to even out the terms that takes away on of the perks of winning.

Paul, BTW, was credited on-screen as “Star of American Chopper,” which of course is true, but not as “Owner of Orange County Choppers.” Not a big deal I guess but interesting.

Aubrey: “Maybe Arsenio has experience as a comedic performer…”  she can’t take a breath without insulting someone! But Lisa is no better. Last week she grudgingly complimented Dayana  but right away she was insulting her again. “She thinks she can do what we do.”

Meanwhile, I must admit that Aubrey stepped back and let the leader lead. Ok, she said she was going to do that  and yes it was a calculated move, but still it was a nice change.

Lisa was getting offensive making fun of Dayana’s accent and her Spanish language. If she loses she will look bad in the boardroom.

Paul was managing just the way he does at OCC, sitting back and letting everyone do the work. H even admitted “I felt no pressure because I was just sitting on the sidelines.” To be fair, he had extreme back issues that prevented him even lifting his arms.

Aubrey was being Aubrey, complaining about everyone else. “Teresa’s trying her best, which probably isn’t going to be good enough.”

So far, the teams, with the assistance of Jim Henson’s son Brian, have been building Muppets puppets that they will be voicing and performing with. Neither team has yet settled on what the show will but Lisa knows who will, or more importantly who won’t be performing. Much as I hate Aubrey, Lisa has been creeping up higher and higher on my can’t-stand-her list.

Going into the performance, Paul is on the line as the other three members all agree he did almost nothing on this task. On the other side, it is all on Lisa again, as she (she will claim) did everything. Lisa will blame Dayana for doing nothing but once again, Lisa gave her nothing to do. And then Lisa dove into a profanity-laced tirade towards Dayana. “I had to create out of my ass something for you to do!” And that was one of the tamer ones. So Dayana is looking for work and Lisa gives her none but in the boardroom Lisa will blast Dayana for not doing anything. So whose fault is that? Lisa then yelled at Penn and Clay “why do I have to manage her every week? Why can’t one of you step up?” BECAUSE YOU ARE THE PROJECT MANAGER THIS WEEK, that’s why.

Lisa’s team did their show and it seems to go over very well. If they lose, Clay is safe because of his performance.

Paul’s team? Let’s say Teresa… needed work. The following performance was better:

The puppet pros said she broke every rule of improv.

10:25. The Boardroom.

Lisa attacked Dayana for wanting to be on stage. Dayana simply wanted to be involved in some capacity. Lisa gave her nothing to do, and worse, said that her accent hurt her.

Lisa if you lose who will you bring back? “I may just bring myself in. I am not going to be a villan because I have strong opinions.” The preceding was said through tears and sobs.

Paul, who was your weak player? Teresa. “It takes her a long time to make up her mind.”

What did Arsenio think of Paul? “He may not have been able to move, but he was able to lead us.” Everyone loves Paul Senior!

THE WINNER: Team Lisa. This should be an easy boardroom. Teresa is gone for her bad performance. Paul is on the block for being the project manager, but Arsenio was singled out for being a great puppeteer and Aubrey was singled out for her hosting so there is no on else left.

Arsenio, who should be fired? Teresa.
Teresa, who should be fired? Paul. “He didn’t do anything. We pretty much ran the whole show.”
Paul, who should be fired? Teresa.
Aubrey: “Paul was injured, this was not his field. He did not contribute much.”
Aubrey, who is the more valuable team member going forward? She sort of picked Teresa but also ran her down at the same time.
Arsenio, same question. Paul. “He’s a bright guy.”
Is Paul a leader or a follower in respect to this task? “He was nothing but a leader on this task.”

Paul, who is safe tonight? “Arsenio. Moving forward he brings a lot of versatility to the team.”

GOING TO THE BOARDROOM: Paul, Aubrey, and Teresa.

Lisa thinks it is a bad move because if he brought Arsenio he would back Paul, now no one will back Paul.

Ivanka: “Paul seems a bit lackluster, he seems a little tired.”

Aubrey is backing Teresa in the boardroom (with ridiculous backhanded compliments)and it is easy to see why. Going forward Teresa is no competition while Paul would be tough competition. She is trying to get rid of her biggest threat, Paul Senior.

But in the end, not bringing back Arsenio whom the judges disliked was a big problem, so Paul Senior, you’re fired.

I do not know how I feel about that. Tune in tomorrow for the American Chopper Weekly Rundown for my take on it.

Trump: “He will be missed.”

Paul: “It is weird getting fired because I am usually on the other end of the shoot.”

NEXT WEEK: Launching Donald Trump’s new cologne. And George Ross is back!

The Celebrity Apprentice: Week Eight

8 Apr

April 8, 2012

In last week’s three-hour show, Dee and Debbie got fired but the real story was when good guy Arsenio took all he could stand and more and unloaded on Aubrey with both barrels and I am sure there was not a single person in America who did not think that she deserved it. After some more fake tears she disappeared. will she be back this week? I hope not but I have a bad feeling she will.

This week starts where last week left off, and Lisa Lampinelli, of all people, attacked Arsenio for his language.  Seriously Lisa? You? Have you heard your own act?

“I had a mental breakdown when I saw Lou and Dayanna with the five brain cells between them come back into the room.” -Lisa, right before she attacked Lou with foul langauge.

And through it all, Paul Senior sat and ate fruit.

THE TASK: Commercials for Entertainment.com
THE MEN’S PROJECT MANAGER: Teresa
THE WOMEN’S PROJECT MANAGER:Dayana

Long story short: Lisa fought with Lou and actually had good things to say about Dayanna. Wow. “Lou is strong, but what else has he got?”
Long story short part 2: Aubrey was slightly less annoying than usual, but not much, and when Ivanka came in she of course stuck herself in the spotlight. Not that she didn’t complain about the directing, about Arsenio, etc. She was still herself, just a little less so this week, and after last week, how else could it be? If she got more annoying your television would explode.

THE HIGHLIGHT: Paul Senior as a grey-haired, sweater-wearing, dignified father. With sleeves. American Chopper fans, insert your own commentary. The executive said he was the highlight of his team and I think they were right.

THE BOARDROOM

Dayana, if you lose, who should be fired? She would not say. Who was the weak player? Lou. He was very helpful but not creative.
Lisa agreed with Dayana and actually complimented her. Holy cow! Meanwhile, Lou sat there visibly shaking with anger. And them he attacked Lisa for being negative and confrontational, and for calling him a loser. Lisa for some reason thought Lou was physically threatening her, and that was a cheap shot. He clearly was not. One thing about Lou, say what you will about him on the task, he is a fierce fighter in the boardroom. Lisa is more and more abrasive each week.

Clay: “Teresa is the nicest woman on this side of the table.” Who is the other woman on that side of the table? Aubrey.

Teresa, who would you bring back to the boardroom? All five of them, and Trump reminded her that the last time that happened he fired two people.

Ivanka criticized Aubrey and also Teresa for not controlling her.

Paul, who is the star of the team? Clay. Paul seems to genuinely like him.

Clay, whose commercial was better? “Ours.” And it was. The other team did not even have the celebs in it.
Lou, whose commercial was better? “Theirs.” UH OH. Lisa: “That’s a Benedict Arnold turncoat thing to say.” “Penn brainpower-wise put you to shame.” The way it was edited Lou had no response but I would love to hear what they edited out because no way can’t imagine a fighter like him remaining silent.

“When Dayana and I agree you know you I am right. You added nothing, you have been sliding. yada yada yada…” She said she always gets the job done but remember- her teams lose very week!

THE WINNER: Teresa/Paul/Clay/Aubrey/Arsenio

I am expecting a Lou vs. Lisa boardroom smack down!

There are only four on the losing side: Lou/Lisa/Dayana/Penn so the question is not so much who will go back to the boardroom but who is the one person who will not?

Lisa “I did everything.” Don Jr: “But you lost.”

Penn kept his mouth shut 99% of the time except when he attacked Lou for not being a team player. Maybe the guy who left early should not talk about being a team player.

Dayana, who is going to escape? “I don’t know. Penn was away for the afternoon it would not be fair to bring him back. Lisa has such great skills.” And Trump pointed out that she has been losing for weeks. Penn skated leaving Lou and Lisa to slug it out.

Back in the suite, the winning team badmouthed Lou as well. Despite being a winning project manager, I think Lou’s time has come.

Ivanka: “I never really understand Lou’s arguments for… anything in here…”

Trump’s questions seemed to indicate that he was unhappy with Lou not supporting the team. Don Jr said the same thing before they returned.

Ivanka asked Lisa what Lou adds? Basically he carries stuff. Lou attacked Lisa as well but he is not able to talk as well as Lisa does. However, as I said from the beginning, he is very impressive in the boardroom. Don Jr (marginally) backed Lou.

Trump asked Lou if a case could be made to fire Lisa and he said yes but, unbelievably, said that Dayana should be fired. Ok, he is honest, but a tactician he is not. On the other hand, it did turn Trump’s attention away from him.

But….

Lou, you’re fired. Like in The Godfather, you never go against the family.

“Take it back, I don’t want to be fired.”

“No.”

Ivanka: “Lou dug his own grave in here.”

What do I think? With only three members, wait until Penn has to leave early again. He has now twice missed time on tasks. I rapidly lost a lot of respect for him. Before the show I expceted him to win it all, now I expect him to go home.

NEXT WEEK:

A puppet show. Yes, a puppet show.