Tag Archives: Target

Target: Me

7 Feb

February 7, 2014

According to the news, the government has been using the IRS to target it’s enemies, nearly of all of which have committed the crime of not drinking the President’s Kool-Aid. Well, I’m not sure what I did wrong. Made one too many Obamacare jokes? Offended some IRS official who looks like The Fat Guy eating a cheeseburger and took it personally? I don’t know but I was just audited. ME! Mr. Blog! Who could be less of a threat to our nation than I am? I am the Teddy Bear of Bloggers©.

auditOk, well, it wasn’t the IRS and it wasn’t the Federal Gov’t, it was the NY State Department of Taxation. (But I still blame Obama! It’s easy and trendy!) I got a thick letter in the mail telling me I owe them $81 from 2010. It was about 8 pages, 5 of which were nearly incomprehensible and 2 of which were totally incomprehensible. The other page had my name and address, which they got right. So how did they calculate that I owe $81 dollars? I have no idea. There is a chart which shows my 2008 information (consisting of amount owed:$0, amount paid:$0, penalty:$5, and balance:$0) and compared it to my 2010 information, which seemed to be filled with random numbers and Greek characters, and the final box said balance:$81. So somehow, by a seemingly random confluence of my 2008 taxes, my 2010 taxes (what happened to 2009? No idea.) and a lot of Justin Bieber’s pot, NY State figures I owe then some money.

Mayor DiBlasio made a campaign pledge to “tax the hell out of the rich for no reason” and it sure looks like he’s keeping it. (It is generally known that I am among the richest 1% of bloggers.)

I’d love to contest this but that would mean finding my 20o8 and 2010 tax returns and actually trying to read them, so maybe it’ll be easier to just pay up. The letter came with a friendly threat that I have about 10 days to pay. It would have been 30 days but the date on the letter was almost 3 weeks old. (I’m sure the Post Office was in on it too.)

So thanks a lot New York! (And you too Obama! I know your hand is in this somewhere!)  This is just another reason to move out of this overtaxed and pothole-filled working man’s nightmare.




Offline and Off Target

9 Dec

December 9, 2013

The House of Blog is in disarray.

No, I don’t mean there is any political intrigue going on between the Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride, I mean that literally: My house is a mess.

I need some furniture. Target is not where I would normally go to look for a dresser, but it had a couple of things going for it: 1- it was cheap and 2- it was cheap. Now I know that when most people think of cheap furniture they think Ikea, but want a dresser whose name I can pronounce in case I need to call up customer service.

“Hello, Ikea? Hi, I bought a dresser the other day and it was missing some parts. I need a drawer, the top, and one of the sides.”
“Right ma’am.”
“Sir. I’m a sir.”
“Thank you ma’am. What model dresser did you buy?”
“Umm, it says ‘schnoor, um, flargeen, something,’ there’s a ‘o’ with a line through it, an umlaut…, er…..”

So Target was the way to go. In addition to cheap I am also lazy so I went online. There’s nothing like buying a piece of furniture you have to assemble yourself from a small picture online. This is what I found.


Currently unavailable online.
Not sold in stores.

Do these dressers exist? What are they doing here? I thought the point of Target’s website was to sell merchandise, not tempt and tease you with things you can’t buy.

And one of the phantom dressers has a price so secret they won’t even tell you what it is.

C’mon Target. Shape up.

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