Tag Archives: Sea Hag

So This Is What My Husband Is Wasting His Time On? By Mrs. Allen Keyes.

4 Feb

February 4, 2014

MRS keyes

I recently found out about what my husband Allen does at 3 in the morning. Alone. In the dark. He’s writing a blog!!! The nerve of that crumbbum! At least if it was porn I could deal with it. But he’s a …..blogger. I can barely say the disgusting word. I mean, really. How could I ever face the gals down at the salon if they knew? Why even the Korean girls doing our nails would feel superior to me! NOOOOO!

                       mk1

He can be bothered to blog for what I assume is zero wages (I don’t think this “Mr. Blog” concern is exactly on par with my must-read favorite the HuffPo), but  he can’t be bothered to take out the garbage or wash the dishes or flush the forchrissakes toilet after he eats one of his patented tuna and bologna sandwiches. Tunlogna he calls it. I call it a sure bet to make me waste a can of glade masking the aftermath!

And how he writes about me! He’d make you think I was some kind of vile harpy battering him with rolling pins, frying pans, and the like! Like I would ever hit him with ANYTHING…….well, anything that would leave a mark anyway. Lots of nosy people out there you know.

 mk2

And let me tell you something…..he’s no prince either. Maybe YOU’D like to put up with finding tufts of shedded back hair in your bed most mornings? Who even knew you could have that situation!??!

 mk3

And the string of inanities that comes out of that man’s mouth! I’ve read some of his stuff when he wasn’t around stinking up the house with his gas, so I suppose you actually DO have a clue about how stupid he is. If I have to hear ONE more time about how he wants to own a beagle named bagel, I swear I’ll scream.

So can “Mr. Blog” (if that is your real name? Is your last name really Blog?) just leave my husband Allen alone?  It’s hard enough to get him to wear pants for more than 2 minutes without this blogging thing distracting him. Do you know how humiliating it is when UPS delivers a package and Al is laying around in beat up boxers with the words “Here comes da judge” over the crotch??

Enough with this Mr. Blog sh*t already!

 

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Late Night Movie House: Popeye TV Commercials

20 Nov

November 20, 2013

Time to get this blog back on track.

popeye lnmh

I love Popeye. The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride love Popeye. This blog would be something very different without Popeye. Who doesn’t love Popeye? This guy.

From Wikipedia, the Wimpy of websites: In 2001, Popeye (along with Bluto, Olive, and twin Wimpys) appeared in a
television commercial for Minute Maid Orange juice. The commercial, produced by Leo Burnett Co, showed Popeye and Bluto as friends (and neglecting Olive Oyl) due to their having had Minute Maid Orange Juice that morning. The ad agency’s intention was to show that even the notable enemies would be in a good mood after their juice, but some, including Robert Knight of the Culture and Family Institute, felt the commercial’s intent was to portray the
pair in a homosexual romantic relationship—an allegation that Minute Maid denies.

Popeye, orange juice, friendship? How much more wholesome can this be? I can’t believe this could possibly be homosexual. Let’s see the evidence.

Well.

That’s just… well.

Okay, moving on, here is another Popeye commercial, this one from the long-ago days of 1983.

Watch!

Three screens! WOW! The technology is AMAZING!

But to be honest, I love that game. Up until last year, I even had it on my cell phone. (Until I got tired of it, that is. After all, it only has three screens.)

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