Tag Archives: news

FOX News Must Have Flunked Math

8 May

May 8, 2013

There was a horrible story in the news today but it had a happy ending. Ten years ago three young girls were kidnapped right off the streets of Cleveland and today they were all rescued, alive.

An amazing story, and one that deserves better than to be turned into an SAT question. You know, the kind where one train leaves Detroit at 10 am traveling west at 65 mph and another train leaves Boston at 12:30 pm traveling east at 80 mph and you have to figure out if they would crash around 3 pm in New Jersey. Well, if it was left to FOX News they would never figure it out. I am sure they flunked the SAT exam back in their school days.

This is from the article appearing at http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/05/07/2-ohio-teen-girls-missing-for-decade-found-alive-as-cops-offer-few-details/#ixzz2SbzNfp2I

math is hard

“They didn’t provide the current ages for the other two women.”

Really?
Hmmm, let’s figure this out.

Berry disappeared 10 years ago nearly to the day. She was 16. 16 +10 = 26.

BREAKING NEWS! Berry is 26 years old!

Dejesus disappeared about a year later. She was 14.  14+9=23

FOX NEWS BREAKING NEWS ALERT! Dejesus is 23 years old.

So much for the “investigative journalism” of FOX News.

FoxNewsAlert_WarGames1

I’d love to have been at that press conference.

POLICE: Ms. Berry was 16 when she was kidnapped ten years ago.
FOX REPORTER: Officer! How old does that make her now?
POLICE: Stunned silence.
FOX REPORTER: I’ll put you down for “no comment.”

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Let’s Have Fun With Censorship

12 Mar

March 12, 2013

Here is an actual news story from some years back. I’ve bleeped out the important part, let’s see if you can guess what the doctors operated on!

———-

medical milestones

Bronx doctors give Afghan girl a bigger [BLEEP], for free

For eight long years – half her life – [name withheld]  has been in near-constant pain.

The 16-year-old cannot open her [BLEEP] more than half an inch, making [BLEEP]ing  a daily chore.

Yet her coy smile and girlish giggle give nothing away.

After [she] fell off a bridge in her native Afghanistan at age 8, part of her [BLEEP] broke and welded together as it healed.

Doctors were unable to correct the problem, leaving her with the debilitating condition and hoping for a miracle.

Thursday, that miracle happened as doctors in the Bronx performed surgery to reopen her [BLEEP], for free.

“I’m a little nervous,” said [the girl], shortly before her operation.

A team of doctors removed a 2-centimeter section of her [BLEEP] Thursday, inserting a piece of her rib and cartilage in its place, during the nine-hour operation.

Her recovery will involve extensive physical therapy.

“She would have remained this way or got even more frozen,”

Doctors were able to open her [BLEEP] to 41 millimeters – 40 to 45 millimeters is normal.

“Life should be relatively normally after that.”

operation_game

 

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