Tag Archives: New York City

Jimmy Fallon Ripped Me Off

25 Jul

July 25, 2013

The New York Daily News ripped me off.

Alley Oop ripped me off.

The New York Times ripped me off.

And now Jimmy Fallon ripped me off.

 

 

I now take you back to May 24th, 2013 and Imponderable #94, when I wrote:

Anthony Weiner thrust himself into the New York City Mayoral election yesterday.

“I’ve thought long and hard about this,” he said as he stood proud and erect in front of his audience. “I feel that over the last few years I’ve shown you what I’m made of, and I’ve exposed myself to the will of the public.”

Weiner’s announcement came at the climax of what was otherwise a flaccid news day.

“I will not go limp at the finish, nor will I allow my poll numbers to slip. I will go deep in the race and I will finish first. And I will leave the electorate satisfied.” Candidate Weiner then basked in the afterglow of his ejaculation.

 

Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride: TRENDSETTER!

(And OK, the joke was really obvious, so my question to Mr. Fallon is, what took you so long?

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The Spying Eye Sees: Mrs. Met

11 Jul

July 11, 2013

Who is that shapely brunette that The Spying Eye has seen on the arm of hunky major league baseball mascot Mr. Met? Sources say that Mr. Met has found a new love.

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Mr. Met’s family man image has taken a hit lately since his divorce. His first, red-haired wife, known for her charity work with disabled children, has not been seen around the baseball circles in New York for several years, and now this newer, thinner, and yes- hotter wife has taken her place around the baseball diamond.

Mr. Mets' first wife, not seen for many years.

Mr. Mets’ first wife, not seen for many years.

The Spying Eye has yet to get its hands on the prenup, but it is a sure bet that this new Mets hottie is in line for quite a load of Diamond Dust, if you know what I mean.

Meanwhile, The Spying Eye has been unable to reach Rosie Reds, Mr. Mets’ former sister-in-law, for comment.

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The Spying Eye has just one word of caution for the new couple- keep your amorous displays of affection off the field and in the bedroom. Such antics as that pictured below have no place in a family ballpark.

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan's advice. ("Ladies, give up the butt!!")

No wonder Mr. Met is always smiling. Mrs. Met obviously takes Tracy Jordan’s advice. (“Ladies, give up the butt!!”)

The Spying Eye has not given up on the mystery of Mr. Met’s first wife’s disappearance. This undated photo shows evidence of some kind of brain surgery, given the scars around her temples.ku-mediumAnd in this more recent family photo, taken in 2004, Mrs. Mets’ lack of hair hints at recent chemotherapy.

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