Tag Archives: Long Island

NYC Ghost Town

7 Nov

November 7, 2012

Forgive me if this post is more serious than usual but it is just a week since Hurricane Sandy struck NYC and the city has still not recovered.

I first began to realize the extent of the damage on Halloween. Although I had walked around my neighborhood the day before and took pictures of the downed trees on my block and the shattered seawall, the extent of the psychological damage was not yet clear. That day, the people I saw who, like me, came out to see for themselves what the storm had wrought, all uniformly wore the same facial expression- disbelief, and a little awe. But that was expected. We had gone out to see wreck and ruin. We wanted to see trees on cars and broken street lamps. It was like going to a carnival freak show. We went home and told our friends and family about the amazing sights and how they should have seen it for themselves and posted out pictures on Facebook with some accordingly somber status and gawked and gossiped about who had seen the worst wreckage.

Halloween was different. In some ways it was the only truly scary Halloween I have ever had.

As I have almost every year on Halloween, I drove out to see the houses decorated with the gaudy spectral spectacles and ghostly glamour that, accompanied by spooky music from the car radio, made up the Halloween backdrop of my life.

But I didn’t see any. The famous house in Bay Ridge that always decorates for Christmas and Halloween to such an extent that it makes the news, was unadorned. I drove out to Long Island to see some of the fancier and more expensive houses, maybe even some by the water where the very rich pay expensive designers to do up their homes. I didn’t get far. Much of Long Island was in total darkness. It was a dark night and there were no streetlights, no house lights, and no traffic lights. On the busy main thoroughfare of Sunrise Highway it was simply too dangerous to drive and I, like the majority of cars on the road, turned back. We left Long Island unexplored that night.

I changed the station to the all-news station to hear traffic updates.

My path next took me through Queens. I live in Brooklyn and normally don’t drive the streets of Queens, just pass through on the Belt Parkway, but this night we were hungry and we decided to go to a restaurant there. Nothing fancy, just an IHOP. I drove down Lefferts Boulevard, which I had never driven before, and was struck by two things: First, the traffic, which was very, very thick and slow-moving. The other thing was the hundreds of trick-or-treaters. It seemed really strange to see so many kids and their parents prowling around this stretch, Lefferts was mainly full of closed stores. The houses and residential streets were a block or two over. That’s where I’d expect to see the costumed kids.

Eventually the congestion got to be too much for me and I turned off and immediately realized why there were so many cars and kids (a bad combination in anyone’s book) on Lefferts: the surrounding area was blacked out. Lefferts was the only stretch of lighted street. For blocks and blocks on either side it was, just like on Long Island, pitch black.

Normally a pitch black night on Halloween would be just what you wanted, but this night the radio was full of news of people without power, food, or shelter. The kids in their plastic masks and orange goodie bags didn’t seem so spooky anymore.

We made to the IHOP and it was packed. That was no surprise, the neighborhood had no lights or power so the residents turned up there. Oh, the pancakes were good and the eggs were fluffy but most people were there just to be somewhere. It wasn’t so much a pancake house as it was a community house.

I made my home through the streets, some lit, some not, and wondered if things were getting better.

The next day I realized there was a gas shortage.

As I type, there is very little gas in Brooklyn. Ignore what you see on the news, the gas is not getting to the people and when it does it sells out, quick. I left my car parked all day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I heard stories on the news about long lines and read updates from Facebook friends who waited online for up to three hours for gas. I had ¾ of a tank and figured I’d be good until near the end of the week when, hopefully, it would calm down and I could fill up normally.

I am typing this on Monday night and I am still hoping.

I took the car out this morning for the first time and drove the Belt Parkway in the daylight for the first time since before the storm. I saw what the blackness of Halloween had hidden.

I have what is usually a scenic, if crowded and construction-filled, commute to work. I take the Belt Parkway, which wraps around the southern, water-bordered edge of Brooklyn like a belt (which is honestly where the name comes from) to the Sunrise Highway which drives more of less straight through Long Island. The Belt is bordered by downed trees, huge, broken branches, and wind-borne garbage. In one stretch I saw a boat which had been blown out of the water and overland to keel over on the edge of the road. The Sunrise was no better, and so many trees were knocked over that I saw houses through the woods that I could never glimpse before.

The morning commute wasn’t too bad. Going home was worse. Being winter, and since we just set the clocks back an hour, it gets dark early this time of year. I left work a few minutes early, 4:45, and it was already getting dark. That’s when I discovered that most of the highway lights were out. Riding along with an early winter wind, through dark roads with skeletal trees encroaching, dead lamps, and flashing lights from road crews was eerie. This was my Halloween, just a few days late.

I also passed, in both directions, many convoys of army vehicles carrying, I assume and hope, relief supplies.

Long Island gas lines were bad. I passed one closed station and one whose line was much too long to consider getting on.

Brooklyn gas lines were a horror show.

I passed no stations that were pumping gas. Most were closed and all the lights were off. But there were lines, long lines. I am not exaggerating; one closed station on Bay Parkway had a line of cars eight blocks long. There was no gas. The cars were on line and parked- engines off- in the middle of the street in the expectation that at some point there would be gas. In effect there was a line of double parked cars eight blocks long with the drivers asleep, eating, doing anything but driving. And in the gas station proper were scores, maybe almost 100 people, milling around with jugs. They looked like zombies, just standing there and swaying, not even talking to each other.

I passed three other stations and the story was the same.

The impact of Hurricane Sandy is not just felt in dollars. It is not just felt in ruined homes and torn up streets, It is in the eyes of everyone who looks around and wonders when things will get back to normal. It is in the face of everyone who has no idea if they have enough gas to get to work. It is in the discomfort you can see on the people when the sun goes down and not all the lights go back on.

Things will get better. We all know that. But the haunted shell-shocked feelings will take a little while to ease.

Should Alec Baldwin Be Allowed To Build A Windmill?

12 Jun

June 12, 2012

Turn left. Or turn right. One way leads west, the other east. Most of the time you don’t have that option. Your daily routine takes you in a certain direction, day in and day out, and you don’t deviate. Few of us do. Every morning you get in your car and drive to work, same route, left turn right turn left turn. It isn’t up to you to turn right when you should turn left.

Because if you did you’d end up going the wrong way and you’d be late for work.

But I’m talking metaphorically, not literally. I’m talking about spur-of-the-moment decisions, choices you didn’t even know you were making. Those are the types of decisions that make kings out of commoners, that make heroes out of chumps, that make winners out of the losers. And me? Because I made a spur of the moment decision I ended up on television talking about Alec Baldwin’s windmill.

I was on my lunch break. I hadn’t eaten yet. I’d taken a short trip to Toys R Us and had killed about a half hour looking at action figures. Take my word, there are more versions of Iron Man out there than you’d expect.  There are a lot of strange toys out there, and especially odd were the Darth Vader socks. The worst part? They were too small.

Lunch hour half over, I was wondering what to eat as I drove out of the parking lot. This was the moment of decision. I was stopped at a red light waiting to leave the lot when I happened to look to my right. And there it was: Panera Bread.

“What the heck?” I thought. “That’s lunch.”

I know what you’re thinking. I really do. You are thinking “Panera Bread is really overrated. You should have gone somewhere else. The last time you were there the sandwich was just so-so and the soup mediocre.” Well you’re right but lunch was almost over and it was right there. So I turned right, out of the lane, and parked. And then it happened.

As soon as I got out of the car I heard a woman calling “Sir! Excuse me! Sir!”

Being a New Yorker I of course ignored her. There are two reasons for this. 1- I just wanted to get my lunch and go. 2- The last person to call me Sir was trying to swindle me out of a watch.

But I turned right and I saw a woman running- yes, literally running, from two aisles away and calling to me. Some thoughts went through my head. “Huh?” and “me?” and “is she in trouble?” and “she’s cute.” So I stopped. Does that make me a sexist pig? Nah, that makes me an average guy. Plus she was carrying a TV camera so there was a chance I was going to end up in a cereal commercial.

Never heard of it.

She said that she was from FIOS TV. That was news to me. Here in NYC FIOS is a cable provider that no one wants because their prices are nuts and they charge you penalties up the wazoo, like for going over the limit with your remote control. So FIOS TV? It just sounded sketchy but hey, life’s an adventure, and if a cute reporter for a possibly fake TV network wanted to ask me a question in the middle of a public parking lot in broad daylight, then hey, I’ll take the risk. Life is like that. Either man up or leave.

She very quickly told me that she wanted to ask me the Question of the Day. Perfect! That’s Cliché Sitcom Plot #43. Ralph Kramden got into hot water with Alice because of it, Archie Bunker looked like a (bigger) jerk because of it, and even the Monkees got into some hijinks because of it. And if there is one thing my life needs, it is more hijinks. I was totally up for it. As long as it didn’t take too long.

The question, she said, was “should Alec Baldwin be allowed to build a windmill?” Luckily she was not filming (the camera was pointed at the ground so I wasn’t being punk’d) because all I could think of to say was “ . ” I had weird images of Alec Baldwin building a windmill with wooden planks and hammer and nails while unicorns pranced about and a maiden with flowing locks leaned, improbably, out of the not-yet-built windmill. Alec himself was dressed in a sort of Dutch Hansel and Gretel outfit. I’m sure some psychiatrist out there is going to have a field day with that one but in the spirit of honestly, Dear Reader, I would never lie to you. (Warning: That statement might be a lie.)

Anyway, the (cute) reporter explained that Alec Baldwin owns a house in some town on Long Island (Which one? I dunno, I’m from Brooklyn and Long Island towns all sound alike, like they really really want to be in New England but have to settle for the east end of Queens.  (That’s true geography folks. Maps don’t lie.) He wants to build a windmill but some local residents want to stop him. Before I could ask why they wanted to stop him, like he’s some comic book villain (and maybe he is, he sure has the hair for it), the camera was in my face.

Now I’m nobody’s fool (Saarah stop laughing at me) and I am savvy enough to know that I shouldn’t look into the camera, and the reporter was cute, but I couldn’t look at her either. She was wearing huge dark glasses through which I couldn’t see her eyes, if she had any, so my eyes sort of wandered around her glasses trying to find somewhere to fasten. They soon did: on the giant wine-stain birthmark on her forehead. Remember the one Gorbachev had?  This one was worse.

Yep, she was Gorbachev-cute.

So I was staring at the big stain on her head when I suddenly felt all self-conscious about it (because maybe I was making her self-conscious and damn if I am nothing but noble and chivalrous) so I momentarily lost eye-lock with her stain and, briefly, turned and looked right into the camera. Instantly a voice in my head- I cannot swear to it, but it sounded a lot like Jay-Z- screamed “don’t look into the camera!” and I turned back to her sunglasses and finished my answer.

For the record, in response to “should Alec Baldwin be allowed to build a windmill?” I said “If it is on his property and he is breaking no laws or ordinances then he can do what he wants.” All that looking around at her stained head and the camera happened that fast. Then she asked my name, confirmed the spelling (“N-O-R-M D-E-P-L-U-M-E”) and rushed off.

Did I ask her when it would air? Did I ask her what channel it was on? Did I even ask her WTF happened to her head? Nah, never occurred to me. It took someone at work to ask me if I asked any of that or I still would not have thought to ask it. But in the end none of those questions mattered because I don’t have FIOS, no one at work has FIOS, no one I know has FIOS, so I’ll never see the interview anyway. When I got back to work I tried to google “FIOS question of the day” and got zero results so maybe it was all a practical joke, albeit a pretty sad and pathetic one. So for the second time in my life I was interviewed on cable TV and never saw myself on the news.

BTW, do I really think Alec Baldwin should be allowed to build a windmill? I don’t give a rat’s behind, he’s a spoiled Hollywood brat who’s going to do what he wants anyway. If it was up to me I’d stop him from building an outhouse, let alone a windmill, just on general principles. But I wouldn’t say that on television, even a fake channel like FIOS TV.

That reporter was cute, wine-stain or not.