Tag Archives: keep it in your pants

Why Do All These Kids Look Like Antonio Cromartie?

8 Mar

March 8, 2010

If you live in NYC, this was the lead story on the back page of the Post, slightly edited:

The Jets fronted Antonio Cromartie $500,000 of his 2010 salary to help him clean up his lingering paternity issues, a person close to Cromartie told The Post last night.

[A] person close to Cromartie praised the Jets for their help.

“This is his unfortunate burden and he’s taking care of it,” the person said, referring to Cromartie’s child-support issues. “He’s got some time constraints on payments and [the Jets] did help him out with that. They’ve certainly helped with everything and that’s going to make life easier for him.”

The day after the Jets traded for Cromartie, Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum talked about being supportive of their new cornerback, who has the significant burden of supporting seven children by six different mothers in five different states.

“I have seven kids in five different states,” Cromartie said. “I made some wrong decisions my first two years in the NFL, and now I have to take that responsibility to be a father.

“I need to deal with my kids and child-support issues,” he added. “Those things are being taken care of. I’m going to be the best father to them that I can.”

I have a lot of self-righteous indignation about now, so forgive me if I climb into my pulpit and take a moral high ground. Am I better than Antonio Cromartie? Are we all better than Antonio Cromartie? Unless you have eight kids by seven women, damn straight we are.

“This is his unfortunate burden”

Really? If your sister dies in a car accident and you have to step in and raise her four young kids, that may be, at the least, an “unfortunate burden.” (Of course, you’d do it out of love, so “burden” may be harsh.)

If you heroically rushed into a burning building to save an old man in a wheelchair, but lost part of your face in the fire, that could, understatedly, be an “unfortunate burden.”

Now Listen. I’m going to say this only once.

HAVING TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT BECAUSE YOU HAD UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ANY WOMAN WITH A PULSE, RESULTING IN SEVEN CHILDREN BY SIX WOMEN IN FIVE STATES IS ***NOT***  AN UNFORTUNATE BURDEN. CHILDREN ARE NOT UNFORTUNATE BURDENS. CHILD SUPPORT IS NOT AN UNFORTUNATE BURDEN.

Loathe as I am to curse, I’ll carefully say Antonio Cromartie, keep your f@(%ing mouth shut and your c@(% in your pants. How do you think you got into this? Wet dreams? Grow up and be a man. Getting women pregnant doesn’t make you a man, it just proves you are a boy.

“They’ve certainly helped with everything and that’s going to make life easier for him.”

Who wants to make life easier for him? Maybe his life is too easy if he behaves like this. Maybe he needs to know what a hard life really is. I’m sure his kids will, all seven (at least) of them.

I’m going to be the best father to them that I can.”

Too late.

And don’t think I’m letting the women off the hook, or the Jets. The women knew what they were getting into and the Jets are enablers.

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