Tag Archives: Jason Pohl

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Judgement Day

9 May

May 9, 2011

Shortly before the show began I saw, on another channel, a new Dr. Pepper commercial with Paul Sr. as the head of a motorcycle gang. He threatened to beat up a poor schlub who could only tell him that “Dr. Pepper tastes like Dr. Pepper,” which I guess is their new catchphrase. If  I were the guy, after Senior threatened to hit me I’d tell him “touch me and I’ll own your valueless company,” which is appropriate because that valueless company is a main focus of this week’s episode.

The bikes this week are easy to describe because none of them were finished yet when the episode ended. You may consider that a drawback, but on the other hand there was no Jason Pohl so it was an overall win.

OCC was hired by Trans Am Depot to make three bikes, each based on a classic Trans Am. TLC seemed to be using this show as a tryout for a Rick Petko spin-off, “Rick Petko Explains It All” since Rick explained everything about the bikes this week. He probably got more airtime than anyone over at OCC this week, and that’s a good thing because he has more credibility and professionalism than anyone else in that shop. And while I am kidding about the possible spin-off, I could see TLC hiring him to host some kind of mechanical show.

PJD was hired by CrankyApe.com to build a pair of bikes. One would be a custom job and another would be one they bought from the CrankyApe website, refurbished, and will be sold on auction. CrankyApe is an online auction site that sells used, refurbished, or bank seized bikes. The second bike would be an example of what you can do with their bikes. Paulie brought in Cody to work on it. Once again, Cody showed himself to be more professional than most of the older guys on that show. CrankyApe went tp PJD because they once had a bad experience with OCC. About five years ago they called them up and “didn’t get the time of day” from them. Paulie, however, called them right back. Score one for Junior.

It isn’t all easy for PJD. Once again, Brendon was a little dissatisfied with the way things were done there.
Brendon: “No drawings again?”
Paulie: “Who’s gonna draw them?”
Brendon: “You.”
Is it any surprise that Vinnie says there is a lack of direction at PJD? “Daily as we go we figure out what we want to do.” He is too much of a professional to say it but he clearly doesn’t like working that way.

Another thing Vinnie doesn’t like is Paul Senior. Though you almost never hear it mentioned, the people on reality shows do go home and watch their shows at night. Vinnie came in and was really disgusted with an episode from last season. You may recall that a group of kids visited first OCC and them PJD and Sr. gave one of them a picture to bring to Paulie. Vinnie was just sick of how Senior never missed a chance to bad mouth Paulie to any passing stranger. I’m curious if Paul Sr. watches the show and what he thinks of himself. Would he complain that they edit out all of his reasonableness? It just reminds me of Bin Laden sitting in his bedroom watching himself on TV.

Senior and his wife went to Mikey’s gallery of awful art on a day Mikey wasn’t there to see the art. Mixed in with the finger paintings and pictures of the GEICO gecko, Mikey had a few pictures based on his relationship with his father. One of them was a crying man with the title “Remember When Daddy Loved Us?’ Another was a picture of a frowny face with the title “Sad Dad.” Actually, the frown may have been Sr.’s moustache, it had the same droop. “I don’t necessarily get some of his art,” Senior said. He’s no prize either. When ordering as part he needs immediately, Senior got confused between the A.S. and the A.P.

Upon hearing about his father’s visit, Mikey ran right to Paulie so Paulie could tell him what to think. For all of Mikey’s BS about reconciling with his father, after Senior went out of his way to see his art Mikey still won’t talk to him. He is weak-minded and doesn’t know what he wants. I think that somewhere he’s afraid that getting back with his father will make Paulie mad at him. Mikey has hitched his wagon to Paulie for better or worse.

Mikey, BTW, is huge. Whatever weight he lost awhile back has returned with a few more pounds besides. This week he was wearing an artsy scarf, a sport coat, and shorts. He is also doing his epic beard man impression by not trimming his wild growth.

The big news is the decision in the OCC/Paulie lawsuit. The court unanimously decided 4-0 in Paulie’s favor. This means that Paulie is in no way obligated to sell his 20% of OCC, so if Senior wants to buy it he has to make Paulie a real offer based on something besides his phony $0 valuation of OCC.

Sounds simple, right? Well not if you are a lawyer. Senior’s lawyer spun it so that “the case has not been won or lost either by us or by them.” Right. Senior was trying to force Paulie to give him his share of OCC for nothing. Now that won’t happen. Paulie wins. And of course, Senior entirely blames Paulie for the lawsuit by not selling him the shares in the first place. The whole point of Paulie wining the suit is that Paulie never had to do that. Senior was always in the wrong!

Totally coincidentally, I am sure, Senior decided that it was time to make up with his sons. So who did he talk to? His lawyer. That’s the problem right there. Somehow, the reconciliation and getting his shares from Paulie have become intertwined in Senior’s mind.

Those of you might recall that the commercials that aired before the season began said the build-off is coming, and the current commercials say that the only way to settle things is the way they began, with the build. So far, we have no idea what they are talking about.

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American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Big Guns

2 May

May 3, 2011

This week the big tease was that Paul Senior had reconciled with one of his sons. Was it Paul Jr.? Was it Mikey? Was it Dan, the own who runs the steelworks and we never see on the show?

Who do you think? It was Dan.

Senior told “Free Rick” Petko that he had New Year’s dinner with Dan and met his grandchildren, whom he had never met before. He seemed genuinely happy about it, and made it sound like he made the first move. But what about his other kids? He said that Mikey is easily influenced (true) and that once he saw that Sr. had reconciled with one of his sons, then Mikey would eventually come around. The Nazi’s used that same tactic in Europe. First one country would fall, then another, etc. Things went well for them in the short-term but in the end Hitler lost. And the less said about the bunker the better. Now I am not saying that Senior will end up marrying Eva Braun, but how long do you expect him and his son to get along?

As far as his favorite son goes, we saw Jason Pohl in the pre-credits sequence so that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the show.

There was no talk of the lawsuits and everything on the OCC side was pretty straight-forward. They were hired by Allen Brownfeld, a guy with too much money who makes the Rich Texan from The Simpsons (“and his daughter, Paris Texan.”) seem simple and unpretentious. When we first saw him he was wearing, to borrow a quote from Seinfeld, “a man-fur.” He looked like Dr. Zaius. I am not sure what kind of primate that coat was made of but my guess would be that it took three or four gorillas to make that huge thing.

Brownfeld had already bought two bikes from OCC and they really wanted to go all out for this one. Actually, I should say that Monkey Boy wanted to go all out. Jason Pohl never missed an opportunity to tell the camera that “I want to really impress him,” “I am going to…,” “I want to…,” “I I I” SHUT UP ALREADY! He spent the whole episode sticking his face with his Miz ripoff hair in the camera sucking up to the rich guy. And I bet he wonders why people online hate him. No joke- you should see how many times the search term “Jason Pohl sucks” turns up in the stats for my blog.

And just when you thought he couldn’t be more annoying, during the build he started jumping and making whooping sounds for no reason.

The bike itself was fit for Snoop Dogg. Gold, neon lights, bling, and a gas tank covered in hundred-dollar bills. I am not sure but in the process of making the bike they may have broken federal law because it is illegal to make duplicates of money. Who’s to say that in the process they didn’t run off a few extra bills? Arrest that Pohl!

The bike was gaudy and pretentious and of course the rich guy loved it.

Paulie was still in the process of building the charity military-themed bike from last week. When it was done, it was possibly my favorite military themed bike American Chopper has ever had. It managed to look modern and World War II vintage at the same time. It was simple but elegant and just very cool. However, as I always say, much of the credit goes to the paint job, which is all Nub, not PJD. But still, the design was great.

During the build, Paulie got a phone call from a gun manufacturer, Red Jacket Firearms, who ostensibly wanted Paulie’s advice on a gun design but seemed to really want to try out for their own reality show. The guy offered to host Paulie if he ever went down South, and Paulie, his wife, and Mikey all went down to A- help solve the guy’s gun problem, but more to B- get away from the winter up North.

So Paulie spent five minutes looking at the guy’s gun and helping with the design and spent the rest of the time having fun. What’s next? Consulting on fountain pen design for a trip to California?

While there, they went to a crawfish farm which was like a microscopic version of Deadliest Catch. They then cooked the critters and got a lesson on how to eat crawfish.

STEP ONE: Rip it apart.
STEP TWO: Suck out the innards.
STEP THREE: Suck out the head. (Get your mind of the gutter. This is a family blog.)

They also went bow fishing, which seems a bit unfair. It is catching a fish by shooting it with an arrow with a rope tied to the end. You shoot the fish and reel the arrow back in. It adds the element of violence that regular fishing lacks. All it was missing was the dynamite. At any rate, I’m sure Paulie was seeing his father’s face on every fish he shot. (That’s a good visual. Think about it.)

They then went to a gun range where they shot a variety of automatic and hard-core weapons, including something mounted on a truck that looked like it was used to shoot down Zeroes in World War II. Mikey really took to the rifles, but Top Shot material he is not.

While they were there, Paulie had the gun nuts build a custom shotgun for Mikey, which they gave him for his birthday. Giving Mikey a shotgun is like giving a monkey a shotgun. Not a good idea, and he hurt himself in the first five minutes.

Paulie also had a brief heart to heart with the NRA guy about his relationship with his father and told him “I think it’s going to change soon.” Right after that he referred to the gun crew as his “extended family” and the irony just leaps to mind.

And to wrap up Mikey, remember last week? At his art opening, he wore a nice suit and looked almost human. This week at the unveil, he wore shorts, a t-shirt, and a sport coat.. That’s our Mikey.

The show ended with Jeff “you might be redneck if you find me funny” Foxworthy, who told the camera that, in effect, American Chopper fans are rednecks. That may or may not offend you depending on how you feel about rednecks. Me? I see how much money he made in his career and how he owes it all to that stupid routine, so who am I to argue?

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