Tag Archives: imponderable

Imponderable #54: New York City

13 Jul

July 13, 2012

Was it Rebecca Black? I really hope it was Rebecca Black.

Air travel is such a hassle today. Take off your shoes, take out your water bottles, full body scans, long lines, crazy pilots screaming in the aisles, stewards throwing your stuff around, who needs this?

Why wouldn’t she shut up? Who did she think she was, Jennifer Hudson? (Whom I totally can’t stand. Ever listen to her talk? She sounds borderline illiterate. Listen to her Weight Watchers commercial where she pronounces it “Watchuzz.”) Seriously, did the other passengers need her singing? I’m surprised no one took matters into their own hands and delivered some sky justice to her. It is bad enough you can’t get a bag of peanuts, you have to listen to that nut?

What else could the Imponderable be but why didn’t she stop singing?

The question is Imponderable.

Anyone else wonder what she was singing?

If you can make it through the clip, listen to her marble-mouthed voiceover at the end:

Imponderable #50: Monument Colorado

15 Jun

June 15, 2012

The Imponderable has turned 50. That in itself is Imponderable. The series began with a story about a woman who suddenly developed a British accent after dental surgery and was quickly followed up by an assault with an animal carcass and Vatican relics found in a trailer home in middle America. No less than three people were flattened by steamrollers and from London, a lawyer invoked self-defense in a case of public urination. We saw bad puns by lawyers at their clients’ expense, a boy who loved his toilet, and Japanese scientists who developed a way to scan people’s butts.

It has been interesting to say the least. So there had to be something special for #50 and as always, the news media came through.

Wow. “We have that bathroom problem again.” Is nothing safe any more?

“Problem”? This is more than a mere “problem.” Guy’s junk got scalded when a jet of steam shot out the urinal he was using. Ouch! Talk about getting hurt right where you live. I can’t imagine the Arby’s plumbing nightmare that caused that guy’s nightmare with his plumbing. How could it the restaurant’s pipes be that screwed up?

Clearly this guy is in line for a huge settlement, but would you want to go through what he did for a few thousand dollars? Although I have no clue what his “financial losses” might have been, unless he was a porno actor, the guy is definitely entitled to a boatload of cash.

He is also putting a price tag on the value of sex with his wife. That is either an insult or a compliment to her, I am not sure which.

How could a jet pf steam shoot out of a urinal and scald a man’s junk?

The question is Imponderable.