Tag Archives: eBay

I Found it (And More!) on eBay!

22 Mar

March 22, 2011

Earlier this month I found a selection of lousy stuff people actually thought would sell on eBay. They were things like a unicorn statue with a missing horn, which makes it a horse statue in my book. There were puzzles with missing pieces and celebrity underwear. This month, lacking in inspiration but needing a blog, I went back to eBay and entered the same search terms. Guess what? The broken unicorn and underwear where still there 17 days later. So I entered some new search terms and found these wonderful sales.

This is the first and last time I enter “fecal” as a search term anywhere. There are more than ten available. If your doctor is buying fecal loops in bulk from eBay it is time to change your doctor.

This remained unsold at 99 cents. And for two! That’s 49.5 cents each! Realistically, it is 50 cents for one and 49 cents for the other. I would email her and ask if I could just buy the 49 cent one. Who needs two? Actually, who needs to order one? The people who need these things tend to be in nursing homes, hospitals, or under medical care so they have them anyway. If someone is simply lazy and doesn’t like to get out of bed to go pee there are other options. Just don’t drink his bottle of apple juice.

I came across these ugly, horrible pants when I searched “damaged.” To begin with, skinny jeans on men ALWAYS look wrong. Sorry folks, they are too effeminate. But these jeans? They have other issues which I’ll get to but first there is the issue of the tail. Huh? Is it part of the pants? Is it an accessory? Does someone think that looks good? And what planet are they orbiting? These are the world’s ugliest pants. The patches, the worn look, the material, the boots they are worn with, everything in that picture screams UGLY! They only thing those pants are good for is burning.  

I can’t get past the tail.

So let me get this straight. Ten bucks for a toy plastic ice cube tray. For one buck I can get a pair of real plastic ice cube trays from the dollar store down the block. There is no difference between the real and toy versions. It isn’t like an ice cube tray is unsafe. And play value? With a toy ice cube tray my kid can pretend to make ice cubes. (Whoopee!) With a real ice cube tray my kid can pretend to make ice cubes. (Whoopee!) And then I can make ice cubes.

I am not one of those guys who thinks clowns are scary. I don’t find them funny either but they aren’t scary unless we’re talking about Pennywise from It or a serial killer. However, there is simply something creepy about a listing for a clown head with a pair of feet. That picture does nothing to make it less creepy.

You really can find anything on eBay. You just won’t want most of it.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Found it on eBay!

3 Mar

March 3, 2011

There is a saying that says that you spend your whole adulthood trying to buy back the toys of your youth. Nowhere is that truer than eBay. From old action figures to wooden duck pull toys that’s the site for you.

Of course, while you can find anything from old toys to replacement parts for your eight-track player, there are also things on eBay that you may have never thought to search for, and many more you may never want to search for. Luckily for you I did. I put in strange search terms like “worn socks” and “broken” just to see what I could find and lo and behold, I found. Oh boy did I find.

“Hot and steamy” used socks. I also found used underwear (both men’s and women’s) and quite a number of them made a special effort to point out that they have not been washed. Many descriptions explained in almost loving detail the odors associated with them. (You don’t want to see the pictures.) In fact, it seemed like the more dirty, smelly, and worn the clothes were the more bids they had. The item above is one of the tamer examples I found.

I would suggest that anyone looking for some quick cash could earn a fast buck selling their smelly socks and underwear online.

I also found celebrity underwear.

That is a trading card which has been “slabbed” with a tiny little piece of Elvis’ “event worn underwear” mounted in the corner.

Where did they get the underwear? From Elvis’ bodyguard. Who else but someone closest to him would have used his underwear to make a quick buck? (Click to enlarge- trust me, it is totally worth it to read that.)

I never, ever knew that Beckett graded underwear.

If this underwear wasn’t washed, I can only imagine what a piece of Elvis’s dirty and smelly underwear would sell for. It is times like this that I wish I didn’t have such a good imagination.

Moving to less gross areas, and I think nothing can be as gross as Elvis’ underwear, I searched “broken.”

Really, who would buy a broken Leapster? Especially when you can upgrade to a broken Leapster 2?

I also found broken statuary.

Who would buy this? And at $49.99? A unicorn with a missing  horn is just a horse! The horn is the whole point!

If there is one thing worse than a unicorn missing a horn, how a bout a puzzle missing a piece?

One of the most annoying things in the world is when you get to the end of a large jigsaw puzzle and find a piece missing. You spend hours and hours working on it when you get to the end there is a big empty spot where the last piece should have been, Oh well, at least this listing warns you up front that you are going to chuck the whole thing in the trash.

I found a lot of… interesting… items when I searched “inflatable.” Here is the clean one.

I bet these are a ton of fun for the thirty seconds your kids will play with them until they break.

Looking around my home I see many things that may bring some cash on eBay. I have a broken wooden clothes dryer, a brush missing half the bristles, and a pile of “hot and steamy” dirty laundry. Starting bid: $50.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Newer Entries →