Tag Archives: dogs

The Saturday Comics: Marmaduke (So Good It HAD To Be Reposted)

5 Oct

October 5, 2013

I love this post. Now you might be thinking that as a writer I’d love everything I write, and I do (egotist that I am), even the bad ones. But this is different. I LOVE this particular post. And I have been saving it for a special occasion. What can be more special than Allan Keyes wedding? He’s getting married tomorrow, so in honor of my brother’s wedding, here is my gift to him, my favorite Saturday Comics post.

Hey, it’s cheaper than a toaster.

sat com logo

From January 21, 2012

Marmaduke needs no introduction. No, scratch that, Marmaduke doesn’t deserve one. Marmaduke ranks high in the pantheon of the Great Unfunny Comic Strips. Top of that list? The Family Circus. But while Family Circus can at least claim to be a look at the human condition through the eyes of children, Marmaduke is simply an unfunny strip about a gangly dog.

Let’s take a look at some Marmaduke “comics” and see if we can find a shred of humor in them.

Ha! HA HA HA! Because dogs eat garbage! HA HA HA!

Here’s that wacky mother again! She’s running, get it? Because dogs bark when they are hungry! HA HA HA HA HA!

Now the kids are bringing the funny! They hung a bone around Marmaduke’s neck and called it bling! Yeah! Those white kids are so ghetto! Oh yeah!

Oh, that’s cute and funny! Marmaduke sees a woman carrying little dog and he wants to be carried too BUT HE’S TOO BIG! HAHAHAHAHA!

OK, now THAT’S funny! Marmaduke is screwing the guy on the sidewalk while the perverted little kid looks on- see the nasty grin on his face? He knows the score!

See? That’s all it takes for Marmaduke to be funny: hardcore bestiality and corruption of a minor. Now if only there were more panels like this. Then maybe Marmaduke would be pulled from the paper.

The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: Life Like Puppies

10 Aug

August 10, 2013



Toys are either fun or not fun, there is no middle ground. Toys can be creepy, odd, unusual or scary, but they can still be fun. Toys can also be beautiful and sweet, but no fun at all. This is a toy that manages to be both  sweet and creepy at the same time, and still not any fun at all.



Marketed a different way, I’d have no issue with this toy. I’m sure little kids could have a lot fun with this and there are plenty of cute animal toys and dolls that do the same thing, or purr, or poop. But to market this as “perfect for comforting lonely seniors”? That’s just wrong. Giving a human being a purring doll is no substitute for human interaction, especially when the human is an older person in (as explained in the review) an assisted living facility. Those people generally do not get enough visitors or get enough real recreation, and you want to compensate that with a doll. Seriously? And the woman in the review says that, when she calls her mother, the doll is all she wants to talk about. Sounds like  a warning sign to me. She doesn’t talk about her trip to the park, or her friends and their card game, or the good time she had that afternoon, no, she wants to talk about the lifeless doll that sits in her lap.

I’d be very, very concerned.

Who would be cruel enough to think that giving a senior citizen a doggie doll is any kind of real comfort?
The question is Imponderable.



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