Tag Archives: crime

Imponderable #53: Port Richey Florida

6 Jul

July 6, 2012

What more can I add? The man has his priorities.

I’ve never been a beer drinker. If I want bad tasting foam then I’ll know there is something wrong with me.  Me? I’m a Pepsi kind of guy, like my role model George Costanza.

But I totally get that there are some people, like the afore-mentioned Mr. Whittle, who lead very beer-intensive lifestyles. I’ve covered the link between beer and crime before. For example, there was Imponderable #11, in which a man fleeing from the police  was caught because he would not stop drinking beer as he ran. In fact, pretty much any time there is a lot of beer flowing you can expect guys to be doing something stupid.

Of course, this is a little different. Mr. Whittle robbed the bank before he drank his beer.

Aren’t you supposed to get drunk, decide that robbing a bank is a good idea, then have the robbery foiled because you spent thirty minutes trying to push open a pull door until the bank closed? Isn’t that the way these things work?

I really want to know what this apparently sober man was thinking.

So what was he thinking?

The question is Imponderable.

Ya know, this reminds me of a movie I haven’t seen in ages.

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Imponderable: Hoquiam Washington (Classic Repost)

13 Apr

April 13, 2012

The Imponderable is on a brief break but don’t worry, new ones are already lined up and ready to go.

Consider yourself warned.

From June 24, 2011

Is that the world’s worst knock knock joke?

*knock knock*
“Who’s there?”
“Me.”
“Me wh- hey, wait a minute, what are you doing carrying a dead weasel?”
“It’s not a weasel, it’s a marten.”
smashes resident in the face with weas- er, marten
“Maybe it’s a mink.”

But that’s not the Imponderable. And neither is “what the heck is a marten?” (A marten is in the same family as minks and weasels, and those are all just ferrets to me.) The Imponderable comes from the following article which reports the same story from a very different point of view.

Why does the writer of the article think that the salient point of the story is that a man mistook a marten for a mink? And bonus points if you realized that the headline got it wrong- he mistook a mink for a marten.

The AP article doesn’t mention motive, which anyone reading that article must be dying to know. Wouldn’t you want to know why a man hit another man with a dead animal? The first article gave the motive, that they were dating the same woman. The second only hinted at a motive, that he was looking for his girlfriend. Believe it or not, the New York Post had the better reporting.

The AP article must not find that angle interesting. It devoted more space to the identification of the animal, its scientific family, and its habitat.

Why does the Associated Press find it more interesting and important that a man misidentified a mink than the assault?

The question is Imponderable.

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