Tag Archives: chicken

Imponderable #113: Sydney Australia

18 Oct

October 18, 2013

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” finally has an answer.
“Because he was blind.”
And then he fell in a pool and drowned. But it was OK! Really, it all worked out fine. Read on!

chk1

Aww, poor Chooky Wooky. He must be the luckiest chicken alive. And what do you think of Chooky Wooky as a name? That’s either Chewbacca’s son in the next Star Wars movie or it is what I’m going to name my kid. I hope she likes it!

Anyway, I think this story is great. Heartwarming, really, very touching. Autistic girl, favorite pet, blind animal, rescue, and reunited. It has it all! (OK, it doesn’t have explosions, karate, or gratuitous and big-breasted female nudity but hey, it has a blind chicken, and that has to count for something.)

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This is the real-life Chooky Wooky and his new girlfriend

It took three hours of mouth-to-mouth, girl-on-chicken action to bring that fowl back to the land of the living. Good thing chickens don’t have souls or he’d be back as a zombie!

I have to wonder. Where would you draw the line? Would you perform CPR on a beloved snake? A weasel? A musk ox? Even a family’s beloved pet chicken is borderline, I’d think, given salmonella and all that. I guess it all depends on how you feel about chickens. For this I defer to George Costanza:

GEORGE: Do you think chickens have individual personalities?
KRAMER: (shivering) I don’t know.
GEORGE: If you had like five chickens could you tell them apart by just the way they acted? Or would they all just be walking around? Bak, bak, baak, bak? Cause if they have individual personalities I’m not sure we should be eaten `em.

Would you spend three hours performing CPR on a blind chicken?
The question is Imponderable.

But I would not.

Don’t you think that “Blind Chicken” would have made a great name for an old Southern blues man? Clarence “Blind Chicken” Perkins, for example. On the other hand, it also sounds like one of the Hekawi Indians on F Troop.

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“Waiter, this soup has too much gentleman’s buttock, please take it back.”

29 Mar

March 29, 2012

These are real products and while I will be the first to admit there are some cultural and language differences here, I am also the first to admit that I do not care.

Yeah, I admit that I took the cheap shot right off the bat.

But think about it, how many places can you go and ask for spicy cock and not thrown out, arrested, or your own rear end violated? Yes, I know that is chicken soup and yes I know that I am being immature but so what? I still laugh at farts too.

Hey, that mix contains artificial goat! No way! Booo!

I looked up the recipe for Mannish Water.

Ingredients
For 10

  •  2 pounds goat head and belly

  •  0.25 cup Grace White Cane Vinegar
  • 4 cups water
  • 4 cloves garlic, crushed
  • 6 whole pimento berries
  • 2 pounds yellow yam, peeled, diced
  • 4 medium carrots, peeled, diced
  • 2 large cho cho, peeled, diced
  • 1 pound irish potato
  • 6 fingers green bananas
  • 1 cup flour
  • 0.25 teaspoon salt
  • 0.5 cup water
  • 1 packet Grace Cock Soup Mix
  • 1 tablespoon Grace Caribbean Traditions All Purpose Seasoning
  • 2 sprigs thyme
  • 2 stalks escallion
  • 1 whole scotch bonnet pepper
  • 1 teaspoon Grace Hello Soft Margarine
  • 0.5 teaspoon Grace Caribbean Traditions Black Pepper
  • 0.25 cup white rum, optional

Directions

  1. Cut goat head and belly in small pieces then clean in a mixture of Grace Vinegar and 4 cups water.
  2. Pour 6 cups water in a pressure cooker, add 4 cloves crushed garlic, pimento berries and goat head and belly and pressure for 20 minutes.
  3. Turn off flame and allow pressure cooker to cool.
  4. Pour mixture into a 6 quart pot, add 4 cups water to pot and allow to boil.
  5. Add diced yam, carrots, cho cho, Irish potatoes and green bananas.

  6. Stir cover and leave to cook.To Make Spinners:

  7. Combine flour, 1/4 tsp salt and 1/2 cup water in bowl and knead to make a smooth dough.
  8. Leave dough to relax for 15 minutes.

  9. Make small spinners from the dough then add to the pot, stir and cover.For Seasoning:

  10. Add Grace Cock Soup Mix, Grace Caribbean Traditions All Purpose Seasoning, thyme, crushed escallion and whole scotch bonnet pepper, Grace Hello Margarine, Grace Caribbean Traditions Black Pepper and 1 tsp salt.
  11. Stir well and leave to simmer for 15 minutes.
  12. Turn off the flame and mix in the rum.

I have to admit, it seems really tasty but I never seem to have goat head around the house. I am always running out. And frankly this sounds like a lot of work just for me. This recipe serves ten. Who knew that 1.2 ounce packet could be so complicated to make? And where am I going to get ten people who love goat belly? Or better yet, why would I?

But none of that matters because unless you already know what this is, here is the only thing that comes to mind, at least my mind:

Sorry Saddam Hussein, there is no way I am drinking your bath water. That is the real Mannish Water.

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