Tag Archives: Burger King

I’m not cheap. I just want what I pay for.

26 Sep

September 26, 2013

Remember back in the 1950’s when you pull your car into a gas station? Four or five guys in white uniforms would storm your car. One would fill up your tank, one would check your oil, another would put air in your tires, and one would wipe your windows whether they were clean or not. The gas would cost you 95 cents, you’d tip them a nickel, (and they’d thank you for it!) and you’d drive away, the whole thing costing you a buck.

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OK, I don’t remember that either (how old do you think I am?) but I’ve seen it in old movies. And we’ve all been in gas stations today. You drive up to the pump, get out, walk to the cashier, which is in the middle of a huge convenience store, wait in line, pay about $45 to fill your tank (if you’re lucky), walk back to the pump, fill your car and, if there happens to be one laying around, use the squeegee to clean your window. Then you leave, smelling of gas, your shirt wet from the window washer fluid. And don’t even think of having someone pump your gas. Even if you can find a non-self-service station, who wants to pay the extra money they charge? I’m not cheap but gas is already around $4 a gallon, who needs to add even more to the strain on the wallet?

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And that brings me to my point.

When I go shopping, I want what I pay for.

For example, take grocery shopping. When you go to the checkout lines to pay, you have your choice of express lanes where you bag your own stuff. I usually choose those because I am pretty sure I won’t pack my bread and eggs below my canned vegetables and bottles of soda. (Seriously cashiers, I know you don’t like you jobs, but jeez, stop breaking my eggs and crushing my bread.)

But here’s the problem- part of the money I spend in the store goes to pay the cashier, whose job it is to bag my groceries. If I have to do their job and bag my own, I want a rebate.

I just want what I pay for.

Fast food places are the same thing. They don’t fill your soda, they hand you a cup and tell you to fill it yourself. But at last here, I can make up the difference in refills. (Which brings up another point- who would spend more money for a large drink? Buy a small and refill it. For restaurants, soda is nearly all profit, why put another cent in the Burger King’s velvet change purse?)

However, 7-11 is ok. The whole place is based on the serve yourself concept, but I know that going in. And really, do I want the weird guy behind the counter at 3am microwaving my burrito? No thanks, I’ll handle my own burrito.

I’m not cheap. I just want what I pay for.

A Parble (+ an unwanted bonus!)

26 Feb

February 26, 2011

Sorry to do this to you.

I am torturing you on this fine Saturday with the last of my threatened serious pieces. This is not nearly as much of a downer as the last one. In fact, it is not a downer at all, unless bad, pretentious writing makes you sad.

A Parable

“Bring me my honey!” Bellowed the Lord.
“I am sorry, oh Master, but we have none,” replied the monk.
“Then bring me my jam!” Bellowed the Lord.
“I am sorry, oh Master, but we have none,” replied the monk.
“Then bring me my spring tea!” Bellowed the Lord.
“I am sorry, oh Master, but we have none.

At length the Lord asked
“Then what have we in the kingdom?”
The monk asked
“Would you have an end to war?”
“There is no war. This is a peaceful kingdom.”
“Would you have an end to suffering?”
“There is no suffering. All have plenty and none want.”
“Would you have few enemies?”
“There are no enemies, for we have kind and gentle allies.”

“It would seem then, oh Master, that we have only one pestilence in this kingdom.”
The Lord asked “Of what do you speak, old man?”
The monk paused, and replied
“Bother where there should be none.”

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BONUS BAD POETRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Burger King wears a crown.
It is made out of paper.
His face is a waxen mask

 Always smiling
“Have it your way.”
My way? But aren’t you the King?

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Go ahead and laugh. Where’s your poetry, hmm?