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January 15th in Time! (Not space, just time.)

15 Jan

January 15, 2014

In my continuing, failing effort to bring a sense of perspective to America, I present the historical events that shaped our country, all of which took place today, January 15th.

1- New Connecticut (Vermont) declares independence, 1777 Yup, how’d that work out for ya? Didn’t keep that “New Connecticut” name long, huh? That name needed a serious rethink. But I think it ended up OK. When I think of Vermont, I think of Maple syrup and the Green Mountain Boys. When I think of Connecticut I think of traffic around Hartford.

3-Molasses floods Boston streets, 1919 This is true and it is one of my favorite historical events. A gigantic vat of molasses collapsed and (slowly) flooded the town in sticky goo. Buildings were knocked down, people got trapped and drowned, and the smell lingered for ages. This really happened.

Molasses_Flood_Historical_Marker

2- Ford Foundation is born, 1936 And in 1952, she changed her name to Anna Smithson. Seriously, would you like to go through life named after a philanthropic organization? Poor girl was mercilessly teased in high school, with all the teenage guys trying to give her a “donation.”

4– First appearance of the Democratic donkey, 1870 That was the first, but definitely not the last, jackass the Democrats have run for election.

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What’s Next For Dennis Rodman?

9 Jan

January 9, 2014

Dennis rodman sure is making headlines with his North Korean Love Tour. He’ singing Happy Birthday to a brutal dictator, he’s dropping F-bombs and screaming at reporters on CNN, and he’s making the rest of his NBA aging all-stars rethink their life choices.

When he returns to the USA he has a lot of options for his next move. We here at BTR/Gossip have EXCLUSIVELY learned that he’s planning a jailhouse visit to Bernie Madoff, as well as a trip to Cuba to party with Raul Castro. But even worse, I hear he’s planning on deflowering Honey Boo Boo when she comes of age.

Well, the Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride say “why not us?”

Hey, Kim Jung-Un threw his uncle to the dogs? I’ll throw Allan Keyes to the rabid wolverines. How about that, Rodman?

3/4 of North Korea has no electricity? I’ve been running Mr. BTR on candle power for years.

I don’t need a team of all-stars or a Happy Birthday serenade. Show up, take a few pics, we’ll share some wings, and we’ll get about a billion hits for bmj2k.com. That’s what it’s all about.

See you soon Dennis!

rodman clap