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Allan Keyes Presents: The 2013 Mr. BTR Film Festival

29 Jul

July 29, 2013

 

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My First Award: The Worst Display of Shooting EVER:

 

I mean look at this dipshit.  He’s got his prey trapped in an enclosed space. EASY PICKINGS. More to the point, the door is glass – he doesn’t think to shoot through until the very end. And then he fails it by not killing anyone at point blank range.  I mean, yeah it’s a good thing he didn’t kill anybody but common – there used to be a time where people took pride in their craft.

In the meantime. YouTube is littered with these Philly PD videos. Good stuff, if you like to see sub-humans prey on people that is.

Because that was bound to leave a nasty taste in your mouth, here’s an adorable kitten/raccoon ownage:

My Second Award: The Interspecies Love Award:

 

WITHOUT FURTHER COMMENT, I PRESENT TO YOU THE WINNER OF THE GOLDEN LAURELS AND THE PALM ‘D CRAP – 2013 MBTR FILM FESTIVAL.

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Jimmy Fallon Ripped Me Off

25 Jul

July 25, 2013

The New York Daily News ripped me off.

Alley Oop ripped me off.

The New York Times ripped me off.

And now Jimmy Fallon ripped me off.

 

 

I now take you back to May 24th, 2013 and Imponderable #94, when I wrote:

Anthony Weiner thrust himself into the New York City Mayoral election yesterday.

“I’ve thought long and hard about this,” he said as he stood proud and erect in front of his audience. “I feel that over the last few years I’ve shown you what I’m made of, and I’ve exposed myself to the will of the public.”

Weiner’s announcement came at the climax of what was otherwise a flaccid news day.

“I will not go limp at the finish, nor will I allow my poll numbers to slip. I will go deep in the race and I will finish first. And I will leave the electorate satisfied.” Candidate Weiner then basked in the afterglow of his ejaculation.

 

Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride: TRENDSETTER!

(And OK, the joke was really obvious, so my question to Mr. Fallon is, what took you so long?

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